Before and after marriage

@caesarin (1089)
Indonesia
March 5, 2007 7:16pm CST
Old people say that relationships between lovers before marriage and spouses after marriage are different. People tend to be nicer and the relationships are usually sweet and whatever beautiful before marriage. But then you got married and soon we'll find that our spouses are not like they used to be. They speak rogh or harsh words sometimes or else that will make you think the old people saying is true. I would like to prove that wrong but I can help it. I found after marriage my husband is more emotional but in a good way, only that sometimes he speaks rough words which hurt my feeling. I know that my husband came from a strong minded family, more straight forward; while my family is tender. My family didn't make a small problem so big like my husband's. While to my husband, my family tend to under estimate problems though small. Like this, often when we are invited into a small quarrel which lead him to say something rough or harsh to me when he thinks I'm not right. Well, I thought am I too sensitive to feel hurt just by such words? Or is it true that now after marriage people shows their inner realms?
3 people like this
3 responses
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
6 Mar 07
You do see a whole other side, not just because you are now married, and feel comfortable with other, Showing your true selves. But also because with age you natually change. Every day you face something new to challange you in life, and with each challenge you learn something new, these lessons are what makes you who you are, and so you change a little with each one, No one is the same person they weresay 5 or 10 years ago. Part of marriage is helping the other through all those challenges, growing together as a couple.
@caesarin (1089)
• Indonesia
8 Mar 07
I understand what you're saying. And though we are changing we shouldn't let the negative things change our habit to our spouses. Let life develop us a good way and cherish our life while we live.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
I think you're right that they tend to be nicer to each other before marriage because they are still in the stage of getting to know and that they're blind by the emotion they have. quarrels are just a result of being differ in some ideas, cultures and upbringing. Siblings who are raised by the same family quarrels too.. Maybe we should be more patient in dealing things over our husbands expecially those petty ones. we can be more sweeter and nicer after marriage..let's work it out!
1 person likes this
@selina0625 (1383)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
Yes I have to agree on that. It is different from the time you and your partner were just going steady. Life then is to simple, no complications, just tender loving and fun relationship. No big responsibilities to take care. You just go on a date and have fun.After the marriage, then comes all the big responsibilities like paying the bills, the in-laws and most of all the responsibility of having a baby. The love will still be the same, and would go stronger because this time, you have a baby, baby's make married life meaningful and complete. But because of the added complications that is brought about being married, you really can't do without the quarrels and miscommunications. But your inherent love for one another will shine thru and make evrything worthwhile. These quarrels are a part of married life which makes us stronger and more mature.It is a needed ingredient in our life to make our life full.