March 6, 2007 11:32am CST
I'm enjoying the hatred and the pain too much to give it up. I began to realize that hatred is self defeating and I knew I must resolve it or be consumed by it. I put the blade in my wrist and tried to put pressure against the veins. But something made my hands powerless. I had no heart for living and no heart for dying. I hated myself for not having the courage to kill myself. I want everything to end.. It doesn't fee good.. feeling hopeless.. I can't wait for an hour more to see the sun shine again... as if I believe it will still show up.
7 Mar 07
It's so regretful for people who can let manipulate their life by ending it when in fact they could have still gone through a lot of life's beauty. I might never know how hard the pain you are experiencing right now but life is just so beautiful to give it an end. Remember, you're not the only one who's struggling in this world. Everyone is. No one is excluded. Yet, why do they survive? Because "Giving Up" is not their word at all and don't recognize it even. So don't feel too hopeless, my friend. You will then see the brighter side along the way. Just keep going and never give up. :)