Sibling Jealousy?

United States
March 6, 2007 1:36pm CST
My daughter will be 4 in a month. We are considering adopting another girl for our family. The age would probably be between 1 and 3. They would share a room. At first we thought that she'd love it as she talks about wanting a sister constantly. Then she met her new cousin for the first time this weekend and the jealousy is overwhelming. Now I'm concerned that she will act out all the time if we add another child to our family. I know it's natural, but how long does it last?
2 people like this
4 responses
• United States
1 Apr 07
Well I think there's a difference here. If you were to get pregnant, you would have nine months to prepare her to get excited. What my sister did when she was expecting her second she got her daughter a baby doll. So when mommy was changing/feeding the baby her oldest could change/feed her "baby" too. Good luck to you!
• United States
2 Apr 07
I think you are right 9 months to prepare would be excellent. It's almost making me want to adopt an infant so that I can prepare her slowly for what is coming. I think if we just up and added a 10 year old to the family with her being 4 there would be a lot of resentment going on. I am almost to the conclusion that if you foster and you already have a child in the home you need to foster younger children then what your child is or they will think the older child is moving in on their territory where as they seem to have a different attitude towards a younger child and want to teach them or show them things. When my daughter was asked jokingly where babies come from by my cousin at Christmas (he was trying to get a rise out of me) she screamed CHINA! I think it's the answer for us, because she'll be almost 6 by the time we can make that happen due to age restrictions on parents. Then, we can prepare her for it with dolls, even Asian dolls. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the costs right now.
@emeraldisle (13145)
• United States
6 Mar 07
Well you can't always go by how they act with a cousin. I had siblings and didn't have a problem with them but my cousin and I fought horribly. So that might not be an indication with how she'd act. I would suggest if you are going to get a child that you sit down and talk with her, make sure she's all right with a child near her age and not a tiny baby. She might be ok with it. If there is some jealousy at first just try to make sure you are giving both the same amount of attention and make sure to include her in things. It probably won't last for long, some of it is natural but once she knows that she isn't being replaced she'll settle down.
• United States
7 Mar 07
Thanks! That makes me feel better. She really wants a sister, someone to play with etc. So I think we are doing the right thing.
@jolanda33 (720)
• Netherlands
9 Mar 07
i cannot tell you how long it will last, but i think you can help your daughter by giving her some special attetion when your second one comes! change the room with her, let her choose things tell her she gonna be the "big"sister and hope she likes that idea! just make sure you give attention to both of them! maybe in the beginning go out with just one of them seperated from your husband, both one girl to make them feel special! i hope you can work this out and i think it's gonna be alright!
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
8 Mar 07
When I was pregnant with my daughter my son was so excited, he talked a bout her constantly......But I got worried when we would meet up with his cousins, if they came over here he would throw fits about her touching his stuff, or get jealous if she would sit on my lap....But when we brought his sister home, it was different, he was and still is very protective of her, because she is his. they're a little older now and there are fights, but they watch each others backs too.