To be or not to be....
March 8, 2007 1:12pm CST
... a friend. Well, as I've mentioned in a few of my other posts this morning, I had a fun and exciting morning sitting at the courthouse and just being nosy while waiting for the family matters to come up. A few years ago, I had this lady that.. well.. we were pretty close. She was one of my best friends.. or so I thought. Due to many circumstances, our friendship got put on the back burner and we just gradually grew apart. Last year, she finally got the backbone to leave the idiot she was with and take her kids and move out of town. I'd heard through the grapevine that she was back but hadn't actually seen her myself. Well.. until this morning. She's back together with the idiot and he had to appear in court on some charges. She was there I guess to show her support for him. Man, does she ever look rough. Really skinny and just not looking healthy at all. It really pulled at my heart to see her again. Part of me whats so much to call her and talk to her but the other part of me is remembering all the cr@pola that goes along with being her friend and being involved with the crowd that she hangs out with through her idiot boyfriend and I just not sure I want to go back there again. I just don't know what to do...
8 Mar 07
Sometimes you do all you can for someone and you just can't help them anymore until they realise they need to help themselves. You're not giving up on her exactly, but there comes a time where people have to learn to stand on their own, like when you let a child go because you recognise that they need to make their own mistakes. There's also the issue that some people are too emotionally damaging to hold onto. You have to look to your own mental health as well, and I certainly wouldn't go back to her again if you think that might be at risk from her draining your energy again.
9 Mar 07
Hi, I agree with your previous responder, there is only so much help and guidance you can give people before they start to become a drain on yourself and if she's hanging around with a pretty bad crowd, then I'm sure you don't want to be involved with her. I've gone through similar with friends before and there is literally so much you can do, if they can't help themselves, you're not going to be able to do much, I think in this case my only advice to you would be is to perhaps tell her that you will always be there for her if she's strong enough to leave this guy but you can't have anything to do with her until she does so. Brightest Blessings and good luck