Is this just a mans trait?
By Evacuee
@Evacuee (1147)
March 9, 2007 1:43pm CST
I was sitting comfortably watching a film on TV this afternoon and my wife came in, sat down and proceeded to chat away to me!
She then accused me of 'not listening' when she was talking!
I politely said, (as I always do when talking to my spouse...what else!!), I was watching the film but she would have none of it.
She accused my of being like our son.....who never listens and then John and Mick, my mates....they never listen either when they come round. Apparently they don't listen to their wives at all....!!
I'll check on that tomorrow night....its our card playing night and their wives will be with them too!
So .......does the man in your life listen to you...?
Incidentally my wife settled down when I made her a nice cup of tea .......after the film was over, of course....!!
10 people like this
35 responses
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
9 Mar 07
No, and no again and an emphatic nooooo. He never listens to me unless I stand in front of the tv. Then he never remembers. Sometimes I ask "what have I just said" and he will answer "say again". He know this drives me mad and I think he does it deliberately. I have to say that he is also good at making the tea, just like you.......after the film or the football match. Sometimes I think I will sabotage the tv but there is one in every room, so I won't win. Ugh!!
2 people like this
@Evacuee (1147)
•
9 Mar 07
I do love the answers I get from my friends here on Mylot!!
I find that I am always getting drawn back to the place...!!
I also find Alexandria, that after all these years I stand alongside many men who have the same attitude as me.....from the womens perspective anyway.....!! hehehe!!
@smacksman (6053)
•
10 Mar 07
Haha. Spot on! I usually make suitable noises as a reply and that seems to do for a while. It is what my wife calls multi-tasking and something every woman can do easily, I am told.
Well that is until I ask her a question when she is engrossed in some soap on the radio or TV. haha
2 people like this
@mommyaiai (295)
• United States
10 Mar 07
My husband is also like that.If he is watching Tv and if am talking to him he will not answer me back,he is concentrating on the movie he watch.So i've learned,from that time,i will not talk to him if he is watching TV.Maybe that is really a man's trait.
2 people like this
@justgrace (32)
• United States
10 Mar 07
Well its just the opposite at my house! My husband decides to talk to me when I get interested in a program or a good book. He has the worse timing also cause its always in the good part! So what I did is I put a tv in "his" room and now he will go in there and watch it or fall asleep! :)
2 people like this
@natslumabad (28)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
I guess that's how women really are. When we try to strike a conversation with someone, we want their full, undivided attention. Women like pouring out their emotions and most of the time they need someone who'd listen and care. Just my opinion. :)
2 people like this
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
11 Mar 07
Well shame on you for ignorinng your wife!! LOL just kidding. That is unfair to just come right in and assume you to drop everything that you are doing. You were busy. And very sweet of you to make her a cup of tea.
@AskAlly (3625)
• Canada
10 Mar 07
Hmmmm you are not alone that's for sure. I think you guys have a secret club, but then so do we women. It's called the BHWWTT ( Bug Him While Watching The Telly) founded in the early 50's just after the advent of the television.
It's all just a big ruse to get you men off your duffs to make us a cup of tea. tee hee.....it works huh?
@Evacuee (1147)
•
11 Mar 07
Hi ya Ally!
Well the tea bit works for me but she has to wait until I've seen my piece on the Tele!
And I think the ladies started the first club back in the days when we lived in caves.
It is called the TNWC which was a short name because we could not talk quite so well.
Guessed it?......The Nagging Wives Club!!
Thats going to get me some flack.....!! Hehehe!!
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
9 Mar 07
Does the man in my life listen to me.......? LOL! No - never!!!! He says I nag him (as if!?), but it's usually only because I have to repeat everyting goodness knows how many times, before he even acknowledges that I've said anything!!! I will be telling him the most important things, and he'll just sit there watching the football, and says "yes darling" once or twice, and I damn well know he hasn't heard a word I've said! So - your wife is not alone! In my experience, - no man ever listens! LOL! Have a nice weekend!
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
9 Mar 07
Oh you are far from alone my dear! My parents absolutely adored one another, and he has never quite recovered from her passing, but all through their married life my Mum was ALWAYS moaning that Dad never listened to her, - and I have the samwe problem with him myself now too!! He says that I am just like my Mother was, and "nag" him too much too!
1 person likes this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
9 Mar 07
Why is it the movie was more important than your wifes company? Did it occur to you that she was lonely and needed something from you? LIKE HUMAN CONTACT? Yes, you sound just like a dang man. I bet if one of your mates walked in and started talking he would have gotten your full attention. Your wife should not have to beg for your attention it should be freely given. Good lord what a post.. I hope you are prepared to be blasted on this one! And thats Just as it should be.... MEN!!!!! ROTFLMAO too funny I have to give ya credit for admitting and approaching this :)))
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
•
9 Mar 07
Angelwhispers........I adore my wife and we have many good conversations across a wide nature of things.
My dear wife is not ignored and never has been in all our 48 years of happy married life.
I do hope I have not given the wrong impression in this post. It was just meant in a light hearted manner and perhaps (and most ladies will deny this) you might not be listening to your other half some of the time....hehehe!!
1 person likes this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
9 Mar 07
LMAO yes but the differance is that when I am not prepared to listen I tell him to Shut up! LMAO oh I know what you are implying but Dang did you leave the door open to get razzed here.!!!
1 person likes this
@harwoodkp (285)
• United States
10 Mar 07
LOL. That sounds like my wife too. It almost seems like God made women like that. I do try to listen to my wife, but it seems that my short term memory forgets a lot.
I do try to improve this all the time, and it has helped me outside my marrige. At work I get a lot more done right because i have been stiving to be a better listener. I am eternally gratefull for my wife being like that.
1 person likes this
@melissacus (441)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I don't think this is a thing that only guys do. I hate it when I'm trying to watch a movie or television show and someone proceeds to talk to me. I hate being in a movie theater and just so happening to sit next to the person who can't stop responding to every scene in the movie. I think all woman just want their husbands to treat them like the most important thing in the world. Next time when your wife comes and attempts to talk to you during your favorite show, just humor her and give her your attention. You'll make her day. Or get TVO, so if you miss something you can just rewind:)
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
•
11 Mar 07
Hi 'melissacus'
Will I be fitting the TVO to the TV or my wife......??
Hehehe!!
I'm not into gadgets and I don't know if that would work on the TV here in the UK.
Of course you know I'm only joking when I say fit it to my dear wife as I do everything she tells me!
Thanks for coming.....
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
10 Mar 07
Oh my goodness you make tea for your wife, Wow . When my husband is watching TV and if I happen to ask a question even he turns the volume up so high I'd never hear the answer if there was one. I just wait for a commercial. You'll be a married man all your life, A man who makes tea,
that boggles my mind and it sounds like you are listening as well !!! You'll never be a single man
@Evacuee (1147)
•
10 Mar 07
Come on 'Grandma' I feel sure you are talking tongue in cheek now...!!
I'm not perfect just coz I make a cuppa now and again! I also vacuum, wash up, do some ironing, (shirts my specialty!), and if I'm in the mood I'll make some bread.
Do I get any offers of marriage.....?? Hehehe!
Just joking, it comes with having my wife for 48 years.....she's trained me well!!
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
10 Mar 07
Boy has she ever got you trained. I've been married twice and I just can't believe you do all this. Keep Up The Good Work..
1 person likes this
@anu012 (8)
• India
10 Mar 07
ya my man listens to me ..but i try not to disturb him when he is watching sports or any match ....i always try to understand my husbands interests n behave accordingly...if its something really important ..then i interrupt him..other wise even i encourage him on watever he is watching...and i dont have to try hard making him understand when he is watching some movie or match coz rest of the time he keeps listening to me
1 person likes this
@mama_of_two (268)
• United States
10 Mar 07
Yes and no. I say this because if he thinks that I am "nagging" him (as he puts it), he will not listen to me. However, if I am talking to him about something of importance, he can do both. Also, if he is really tired, he sometimes doesn't. So, I usually forgive.
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
Well, my husband don't want to be disturbed also when he is watching a film...So I watch with him or do something else and then I tell him I want to talk to him about something and tell him to remind me so I wont forget..and when the film is finished or if there's a commercial we talk about it..There are times he doesn't listen too and it's kinda annoying.I guess men should listen more though to their wife..communication is important..
@here_for_you (325)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
That is actually just a man's trait. It is natural for the man to be focused and silent in doing a thing and the woman is more on the talking and of course they hate it when nobody seems to be paying attention.
@Naomi17 (624)
•
10 Mar 07
My hubby is just the same, i had something to say to him and it was obvious he wasn't listening i said "ok you don't want to talk to me" he said not right now lol ,i got my own back he started talking when we went to bed i said not now and ignored him lol
He listens to me most of the time but when the footballs on i could run round the house naked and he would still be sitting there!
1 person likes this
@cyclops_online2004 (779)
• India
10 Mar 07
Just make it a point to listen to your spouse no matter what you are doing if not atleast juts tell him/her that you are a little busy right now and would love to talk later. Its important that you do this in a very polite way like by switching off the movie you are watching. The i am sure your spouse would understand you feelings.
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
•
11 Mar 07
Hi 'Cyclops'
I have no doubt that my dear wife knows my every feeling after being together for so long and she suffers my frailties with great tolerance, as I do hers! None of us are perfect and I think we get along fine.
But thanks for your point of view and I welcome it.
@Lorna_Eleanor (130)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
My point of view here is plain and simple. I follow the golden rule: Do not do unto others, what you don't want others to do unto you... I want others to listen to me when I talk, so I always make sure that I listen to anyone who's speaking to me.
My husband listens to me when I talk because he knows how important communication is in our relationship. As simple as it seems, but little things like this could affect relationship. Believe it or not.
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
•
11 Mar 07
I thoroughly agree 'Lorna' but we, (my wife and I), normally
chat over important things during the day when we are sitting having lunch or similar.
We are lucky as we spend almost 24 hours of each day together so we can chat at anytime unlike you guys who have to go to work and spend many hours apart. Being retired now we have been through that period and understand the problems it brings.
Thanks for your post.
