Can you be good friends with your ex?

well a lot of this depends on the fact that how you both or at least one of you will take things , means that one person at least has to be mature enough to get all the disputes after a break up solved , only then can you be friends .

What do you mean you slip out of control? in what sense do you mean? also why do you feel you have to be assertive in letting the ex know that you are happily married? Are you more worried about your ex acting on old feelings or yourself? Also ask yourself how your wife would feel if she knew about your ex being in your life? Does she know? Is she ok with it? Are you keeping it from her? If so how do you think she would react? Remember they are your ex for a reason if things were peachey keen you'd still be together. A week or so ago an ex walked into my life. He very quickly tried to pick up where we left off and I explained once and only once that I was engaged & very happy & there was no chance we would have anything between us again. At which point I left it up to him to decide if he still wanted to be friends. The more I thought of it I realized I didnt want or need him in my life becuase he continued to flirt with me and bring up the past for the purpose of trying to rekindle something. I didnt like that he couldnt respect that fact that I was with somebody and I told him goodbye again.

By your responses to this discussion, it is obvious that you still have feelings for your ex and wish that you were with the ex instead of your wife. So, you need to be fair to all parties involved by figuring out what you really want to do and follow through with it. It is not fair to your wife that you still remain in touch with an ex that you still have romantic feelings for. So, it is best to cut ties with your ex until you figure out what you plan on doing about your marriage. If you do not wish to put your wife first and commit to your marriage vows, then you need to end your marriage so that your wife can be free to find someone who will love her in the way that she deserves to be loved. If you truly loved your wife as you say you do, then you would not continue to carry on an emotional affair with another woman and you'd put an end to that. Spending time with your ex is hurting your marriage and disrespecting what you have built with your wife. So, you must proceed very carefully so that you do not hurt an innocent woman (your wife) who deserves better than this situation you have created. All the best, Zuri http://askzuri.blogspot.com

i have try it couple times. but it look like it doesn't work. the feeling still there and sometimes you will be hurt. for me. it's enough to be friend for first step and take your time. don't trying to push your feeling in a time. just make a right choice and be good as well. i mean tell the truth to your wife and your ex. try to find the solution together.

Hmmm. Firstly an answer to your first question. I do believe you can be good friends with your ex. Sometimes relationships don't work out but you can't erase all the good times you have shared and the link that made you compatible in the first place. However you do need to be careful old problems don't start creeping back in. In your case though I think you are opening yourself up to alot of heartache. I don't know about your ex as you haven't really specified why she is in your life! It seems that you have two choices; Either keep things platonic with your ex and do it all above board...tell your wife and not keep it a secret from her. Secondly you can go for what your heart seems to want. Life is very short. My own personal opinion is that your wife is only getting half of you, she deserves better than that. You and your ex are not as happy as you could be. Perhaps you should discuss this with your wife and see if she too feels the same way. Maybe now is the time to stand up to your parents and go for it. After all it is your life and not theirs. Just my opinion and I don't wish to offend anyone. I hope you are very happy regardless of the choice you make.