To All Mother's Out There. I Need Some Advice For My Son!
By Gwapako_28
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
Philippines
March 14, 2007 9:17pm CST
I am a single parent of 2 boys. They are turning 9 and 4 years old. My x husband is a registered nurse already. And he passed the board exam last December 2006. Until now, he got no job and he promised that he will help. I have a thought that he is still irresponsible for his kids needs especially when it comes to education. My 4 years old want to go to school this coming June where my 9 years old studying.It is a private school and its expensive. My income is insufficient if they are going to school both.
I am thinking to send my older son to his father which is living in another city that is very far from here in General Santos City. The reason why i want to do it so that he will know his responsibity and obligation for his son needs.But im afraid he cant take care our son when he is there already!
What is the best thing to do for me as a mother?Do i need to take all the responsibility alone and keep my sons with me? Or its okay to give my older son to him???I really dont know what to do!!!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@arcadian (930)
• United States
15 Mar 07
My heart goes out to you in this tough situation. I think based on what you've written that your son would suffer emotionally at least being sent to his father. Please discuss your situation with the school. they may have provisions to help you send both boys there. Perhaps working part time at the school, or there may be a scholarship for the older boy. Education is impotant but the loving presence of a good parent is priceless, and if you deprive your son of your daily care of him, it would probably break his heart. that you have struggled so to educate him well, is something the shchool would be aware of, and if you think about it- the administrators of the school most likely are very sensitive to the importance of your involvement. Please post your decision once you've made it. I will be interested. You are a wise mother, you will make the best decision ultimately.
1 person likes this
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
15 Mar 07
Very tough decision for me! Today i got a headache. My heart was broke into two. I am still trying to search what is the best for me and my kids. I really do love them. Sooo Much! But i am really worried for their future. especially their education.I hope, i would end up on the decision that i wont regret. Now, i am missing my son thinking what if i wont see him for a while, though he is still with me.
1 person likes this
@arcadian (930)
• United States
17 Mar 07
See, it would be so damaging for you both to be seaparated. I urge you to talk to the school administrators and to his teacher(s)_- because they will help you form your decision with greater confidence. My thoughts are with you. (thank you for the br rating)- I meant it- do post your decision once made.
@QualityBookReviews (63)
• United States
15 Mar 07
This sounds like a really difficult decision, my only advice would be to search your heart. Can you live without your son and him being so far away? How does your 4 year old feel about this, as well I would discuss with my 9 yr old. Does he want to leave his home, his mother, his friends? Does he want to live with his father?
An alternative maybe to split custody with your ex and let him stay with him just during school and then during the off months of summer or whenever they are out of school let him come back with you. That way you retain your relationship with him as well as his sibling being able to continue to see his brother.
Another alternative, is have your ex pay you child support for both children, this is his children and they are still his obligation, if he is a nurse then he should be making fairly good money, depending where he lives. Talk to him have him send you a monthly agreed upon amount for both children for support, if he does not agree go through child support enforcement and they can help you and generally if you are low income or limited income they do not charge and they will make him pay support for both of his children. I wish you all the luck in the world and my prayers are with you.
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
15 Mar 07
I have already talked my 9 years old son about this and he is crying. He dont want to leave me and his brother as well. I talked my xhusband about the support and he abandoned us for almost four years now. He is really insensitive. He keeps promising that he will help but what he is doing? He didnt do anything, and he is still dependent to his family. Sometimes, i want him to die, so that he got a big reason not to support his kids.
@sutan74 (1112)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
My opinion is it's better for your child to stay with you than to live with his father who is irresponsible and jobless too. What will your child learn from him since 9 y.o is the stage were he is vulnerable and the presence of someone who loves him will mold him later as a person. Maybe you can transfer your kids to a school were your salary can accomodate them or ask a relative to help you. Giving your ex your child to make him responsible is a long shot since he has'nt given you child support for 4 years. This is a tough and very sensitive issue you have to face and only you can decide what is best for your children.... I will pray for you... God bless.
