The 411 on BPD, I Am A Survivor
March 20, 2007 9:36pm CST
Borderline personality Disorder is a very painful mental disorder that is mostly diagnosed in women. Most of the men who have this disorder go undiagnosed and in a lot of cases they end up incarcerated for abuse of some kind, due to the intense anger and rage experienced. Bpd is more common than Schizophrenia, yet due to the stigma it is very seldom talked about even among psychiatric professionals. It is rumored that Princess Diana suffered from this horrible disorder. Most people, when faced with a minor problem are able to cope effectively and solve it easily. When a person with Bpd is faced with unexpected stress, it can cause a panic attack. Feelings of anxiety and lost of control can set in and cause anger that quickly leads to rage that can be so strong that it becomes overwhelming. The problem could be as small as a rip in their stockings or the alarm clock not going off. Although, they realize the anger is excessive, they feel powerless to control it and pretty soon it has a domino effect where the person is feeling the rage for every hurt, let down, and problem they have ever experienced. Now imagine another person being the target of such rage. Maybe you forgot to return a call to them or were late in picking them up for lunch. The next time you hear from them they are much more angry than the situation calls for and no matter how you try to explain and apologize, it is just not good enough. People who suffer from Bpd are afraid of the one thing that they need the most, Love. And because of that they are constantly jumping to negative conclusions about how you feel about them. They say, you didn't call because you don't really care. When in fact you had to work over-time and then rushed to get home and do what you had to do and simply forgot. No matter how much you show your love to them, they constantly need to be reassured that you care. Not because they are playing games, when they feel that you have done something on purpose to hurt them, their mind is able to convince them that you don't care and have never cared. So they rage at you as if you were the enemy, then about an hour later, before you have the chance to really sort things out, they are calling back, after slamming the phone down in your face and pleading with you for forgiveness. This becomes the normal pattern of the relationship and you start to feel trapped like you are losing your mind. Because their perception is off, they accuse you of saying things and doing things that you never have. One minute you could be the greatest person in the world and then you say or do something that they take the wrong way and they will verbally attack you as if they don't even realize that you are the only friend that they have not managed to chase off yet. Then if you don't forgive them readily, they turn on themselves and cut, burn, or do worse to themselves to relieve the pain, stress and guilt of it all. Bpd's are known for self injury and some have inadvertently committed suicide while injurying themselves. The closer you get to a person suffering from this disorder, the more likely you are to experience their wrath. Bpd is believed to be a disorder that came about in childhood. The child was neglected and or physically abused in some way, more than likely by someone who they trusted and thought really loved them. BPD's suffer from arrested emotional development. At some point during childhood, the emotional growth stops and everything continues to grow, physically and intellectually, but emotionally you are dealing with an over-grown child whose sense of trust is almost completely shattered. Though one of their biggest fears is abandonment, they eventually lead everyone who ever cared about them to do just that, leave and not look back.
2 May 07
Rozie dear, Is this what you were referring to when you told us about your mental-illness? If so, then I can understand better now why you seem to display such gentle heart. You understand other people's weaknesses having one on your own. Rozie, I always love to see how far someone has gone through to reach the place where he/she is now. I will not say "how patient you are!" to someone who is not easily angered by nature (phlegmatic type?) but I will say it to someone who has to struggle a lot in order to be patient. I see them by not by the result alone, but how they get there. I believe you must have uneasy life and struggle a lot. But I believe you can see now how those things have helped you to help other people. And what a beautiful day it will be when you meet Jesus Christ one day...=)
3 May 07
Thank you very much. That last line was just what I needed to hear. I was just reading the other day about how we have to look past all of the things in this world and keep our eyes on the prize, which ultimately still is Heaven. I honestly believe that without suffering, there can be no compassion, so I use the hurt that I have experienced to help others. When the Lord works through me to help someone, it makes me smile and makes all the pain worthwhile.
3 May 07
Rozie, do you recall Fanny Crosby an author of so many blessed gospel songs? One day she was asked whether she would want to be able to see again, she said, NO. Why? Because the first face she'd see when she arrives in Heaven is her Saviour's dear Lord Jesus....=) May it be so for you, too, Rozie...=)