Relationships are hard work.....especially when you are living with someone.

United States
March 20, 2007 10:27pm CST
I just moved in with this guy about a couple weeks ago. We fight a lot though already. We BOTH do it. But my anger with him is towards the way he acts around other woman. When his friends bring their girlfriends over he starts to ignore me, he says I ignore him and I do do it only because he does things that proves he isnt paying attention to the fact that I am in the same room. Like once we were sitting in the apartment and his buddies gf was over (stripper mind you) and he gave her a ciggarette and smoked one himself and then he gave me his but, I was on the computer but still, that proves that he'll forget I am in the room ya know. Its really aggrivating for someone to humiliate you like that in front of all of your friends. But ofcourse he will sit there and act like a punk when everyones gone and im trying to tell him how I feel. He just sighs, It's tough though because I have 6 cats and ive been out of a job for a couple weeks (just started again last week). And like tonight when his friends girlfriend came over (different couple he was acting really shady with me, it made me mad cuz he kept looking over at her so me and the girl started messing with him by laughing and stuff. And I told him "I am going to karate shop you" and you know what he said to me "if you get up"I am sitting in the computer room with the door shut and I already told him to leave me alone. At first it was "i was just stating if you got up"and then he just came back in and said "im sorry i thought i was just joking with you"so which one is it? what story ya know? Im stuck, all this was written at a time of an anger adrenalene rush right after we were fighting so I pretty much just typed and already knew what to say. Anyone interested and care to comment? I don't know if I am doubting myself or what.
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1 response
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
I noticed that a long while ago you started a discussion about having doubts about a relationship. Is this the same relationship or a new one? It's hard to get the whole picture here, but from what you're saying it does sound as if your partner doesn't behave very respectfully towards you. I'm not sure I would put up with this kind of treatment, assuming I am understanding properly what you said. You mentioned in another discussion having been abused in the past. I can say from experience that sometimes those of us who have been abused will accept relationships just because they are "better" then the past ones, even if they still aren't really what we want. If you're this unhappy with this person, you should move on. Relationships are hard work, especially if you're living with someone, and there are some relationships that are worth that hard work. I know my husband and I have gone through some tough times in the past, and I'm glad that we worked through them. But there are also relationships before that which I decided were not work the work, because they just weren't quality relationships in the first place, and I'm glad now that I made those decisions. It's up to you to decide if this relationship is worth saving or not, but I do hope that if you stay with this person, you insist on better treatment.
• United States
29 Mar 07
It is a different relationship from my previous discussions. Its so hard for me to move on right now because I live with him and I dont think he would appreciate breaking up and living together at the same time, his names on the lease. Who knows, maybe I will test those waters tonight and ask him what he thinks about it, if it is possible. Otherwise I would have to move to Queen Creek where my siser lives with my dad but in unaccepting of 1. my cats (even though she has four) 2. can be overly judgemental of me So its a tough situation, I am putting up with one abuse simply to avoid putting up with another.
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