Have you ever given a child up for adoption?

@ljcapps (1926)
United States
March 22, 2007 8:10pm CST
Or have you had someone close to you give up a child? There's someone i'm very close to that gave up a child for adoption, and every year on his birthday it affects her very deeply. She knows he's loved, and that he's happy, but she's always second guessing herself this time of year. How about you? How do you feel about giving children up for adoption?
3 responses
@sharon613 (2324)
• United States
25 Mar 07
My sister gave up her kids for adoption on account of the agency pressuring her into doing so. I wouldn't allow myself into being pressured. My kids are my kids and no one else has the right to raise them.
1 person likes this
@ljcapps (1926)
• United States
25 Mar 07
She shouldn't have been pressured into that. That should have been a choice that she made on her own, either for the sake of the child, or because she knew the family that had the child could better take care of it than she could. Now, if they were taken away, that's a lot different, than being pressured to give them up.
@sharon613 (2324)
• United States
26 Mar 07
The children were taken out of the home through the DCW. She kept going to court to try and get them back. Instead there was one thing after another. The stupid agency nor her attorney were at all not on her side in trying to regain custody of her kids. At the time she was staying by my parents who live in an adult community don't don't allow kids. She didn't have much of financial backup to show the judge. She regrets what she had done. My husband and I even tried petitioning for the kids no thanks to the nosy schools and the people who ran them we were rejected.
1 person likes this
@ljcapps (1926)
• United States
26 Mar 07
In her case then, i'd say definitely and completely unfair. there are people who have problems at being parents, but then see what it's doing to their children and completely turning their lives around. Being low income doesn't mean bad parenting! I understand that DHS (dept. human services here) should be leery of replacing children back in homes they were removed from, but i also believe every one deserves a second chance.
@jmp824 (741)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
Nope, i won't give up my own child for adoption, for better of for worse we will be together. :)
@ljcapps (1926)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I'm glad then that you've never been faced with a decision like that. And that your children are loved, as all children should be loved, whether given up or not. thanks for responding!
@youdontsay (3503)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I think it must be VERY hard to do. I gave up custody of my daughter to her father when I could no longer provide and care for her. She was nine. It was hard, even though I got to see her every other weekend. And I was still legally her non-custodial mother. I hope you continue to reassure your friend that she did the best she cold do for her child. And that there are other mothers who have the same feelings. Perhaps she can find, or start, a support group for mothers who have given their children for adoption.
@ljcapps (1926)
• United States
23 Mar 07
She's pretty private about it, not that many people know. And she's a very private person anyway so i think she'd actually have a hard time with a group like that. but it's definitely a suggestion i'll pass on to her. I'm so sorry that you had to give up custody of your daughter. I know how hard a decision that had to have been for you, to rather have her with you but give her up to him for her sake. That's something you should be proud of yourself for. For being a good parent and putting her first.