How do you deal with public meltdowns?

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Tonight we went out to dinner. My son usually does pretty well, although lately he doesn't want to seat in the booth he would rather stand there or jump on the booth. And he is 4 1/2. Well that is just what he did at dinner except when he jumped on the seat he hit his knee on the table. His knee was fine, but whenever he gets hurt my son gets so mad. He will scream at the top of his lungs and usually hit or bit whoever is trying to comfort him. Normally he is not aggressive but can be very passive. It's just when he gets hurt he gets really mad. Needless to say it was very frustrating I could feel everybodies eyes on our family, it was so embrassing. My mother in law, although meaning well and just wanted him to stop said " stop crying so you can have a treat." AAGGH!!! of course I was already tense because of the tantrum I said through clenched teeth " don't say that!" When he did quiet down, he just layed there on the booth, so I said " you need to sit up." He wasn't happy about that and began to cry again. My husband got mad at me and said I should have left him alone. I know it would have been easier, but I don't want him to get into the habbit of laying on the seat at dinner. When he does this in the past, I almost always tell him to seat up. Usually he will. Anyways after he screamed because I said sit up I took him outside to cool both of us off, but not without a fight from my husband. He wouldn't move so I could get him to go outside. So I had to get him on my mother in laws side. Even as I am writing it frustrates me, and I realize how much I am rambling on. I would just like to know how you keep your cool in situations like this? Do you also get frustrated?