How do you deal with public meltdowns?

@lvmybz (125)
United States
March 23, 2007 3:09am CST
Tonight we went out to dinner. My son usually does pretty well, although lately he doesn't want to seat in the booth he would rather stand there or jump on the booth. And he is 4 1/2. Well that is just what he did at dinner except when he jumped on the seat he hit his knee on the table. His knee was fine, but whenever he gets hurt my son gets so mad. He will scream at the top of his lungs and usually hit or bit whoever is trying to comfort him. Normally he is not aggressive but can be very passive. It's just when he gets hurt he gets really mad. Needless to say it was very frustrating I could feel everybodies eyes on our family, it was so embrassing. My mother in law, although meaning well and just wanted him to stop said " stop crying so you can have a treat." AAGGH!!! of course I was already tense because of the tantrum I said through clenched teeth " don't say that!" When he did quiet down, he just layed there on the booth, so I said " you need to sit up." He wasn't happy about that and began to cry again. My husband got mad at me and said I should have left him alone. I know it would have been easier, but I don't want him to get into the habbit of laying on the seat at dinner. When he does this in the past, I almost always tell him to seat up. Usually he will. Anyways after he screamed because I said sit up I took him outside to cool both of us off, but not without a fight from my husband. He wouldn't move so I could get him to go outside. So I had to get him on my mother in laws side. Even as I am writing it frustrates me, and I realize how much I am rambling on. I would just like to know how you keep your cool in situations like this? Do you also get frustrated?
1 response
@rainbow (6763)
23 Mar 07
I think you handled it in the best way you could at the time! As for the tantrum,I would let him get on with it and pretend it wasn't happening,as long as he wasn't endangering hiself or anyone else, when he calms down he gets loved. If you normally would tell him to sit up why should you relax a rule just because of a tantrum, we are always told be consistant soas long as you have given him time to get over his paddy, then it's perfectly ok. Taking him out is a good last resort, you can both get away from the situation even if he is still upset and have a hug, make friends and talk about why it happened, I wouln't give in if he refused me, give in once and you may have to find a whole strategy, lol. I know it can be hard for kids with special needs but with my boys I try to treat them both as normally as possible although with maybe a little extra leeway, I can't be bothered to fight them for no reason. My oldest has special needs and this seems to affect my youngests behaviour too as he copies so I have to be aware of this too. I used to really worry in restraunts because of my kids but now I know that they are going to do as they want regardless of me and have become much more laid back,why should I worry about people who do not know my family thinking ill of my kids - they may never see us again anyway.
@lvmybz (125)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Hi Rainbow Thank you for responding. You are aboslutely right, I wish I didn't care what other people think. You are lucky you have that skill. Perhaps one day, I will be as laid back as you. Just out of curiousity, how old are your children?. My oldest is almost 4 and a half and my youngest will be one on the 28.