can we really change husdband/boyfriends?

I think it is not a question of changing them or not. It's more compromises. Nobody is perfect, and when in a couple, bothe of the partners have to learn to live with each other. This means accepting the other's flaws as well as his qualities. Of course, if they want to make it work, the two of them has to be willing to make compromises. If they don't it will just end up that they will hated each other's little flaws. These tiny things, if not discussed properly, can accumulate. in the end, the couple breaks up because it seems impossile to live with each other. On the other hand, if they are willing to make an effort, it can work very well. It's important to have a lot of communication if you want your couple to "live happily ever after".