Would you risk you friendship over an abortion

United States
March 26, 2007 12:48pm CST
My cousin who is also a great friend asked me to take her and although I love her to death and believe it is her choice I told her I could not take her. For personal reasons I thought she would understand but she is really mad at me about it. I tried to explain. I don't want to lose her as a friend. Am I being petty should I over look it and be there for her. Anything else I wouldn't think twice.
4 people like this
6 responses
• India
26 Mar 07
It is not a matter of staking a friendship or a relationship over a principle. Your friend made a choice,which she is well within her right to do so. You as a friend could have supported her, or expressed your feelings (which you did)or could severe all contacts with her(because you dislike the option she exercised). For good or for bad, a friend is a friend is a friend. That is one way to look at life. After all nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes in life.At this time,your friend definitely looks upto you for succour, help and good wishes. And remember, being good friends does not mean that you agree with each other all the time. After all , only fools think alike.
• United States
28 Mar 07
I would support her regardless of her decision it's the actual place that makes me uncomfortable. I told her I would arrange a ride for her and then be there for her when she got home to take care of her. I thought that would be a happy compromise. She said she would think about it and let me know.
@34momma (13895)
• United States
26 Mar 07
i would not be upset with you. everyone is entitled to how they feel on this issue and if you are not comfortable with being apart of what she needs to do for herself then she should understand. i would not stop being friends with someone just because we didn't agree on a topic. supporting her choice doesn't have to include a ride
2 people like this
@briennekb (613)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Tell her to find someone else. If you can respect her decision, she should respect yours. If she is threatening to cut you out of her life because you won't accompany her, then she isn't a very good cousin or friend. I would try my hardest to convince her to put it up for adoption instead. But if she is set on abortion, then so be it. But if it were me, I would definitley not go. I'm sorry, but family or not, I could not support the decision. I can respect her decision because it is her right. I would be there for emotional support after the fact, but to actually be there? No way.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Mar 07
There is no room for your personal views here. This woman clearly needs a friend by her side. This was totally your choice to deny her the ride. But,I would not blame her to remove you from her life. You basically judged her by her choice to terminate. If you loved her as you say. You would be there. The friendship is not as strong as she may have thought it was. I feel bad for the poor thing. You may think it's easy to lay on a table a give up your child. You will never know what she feels so don't try to imagine it.
• United States
26 Mar 07
Your right I have no clue how she feels but this isn't the first time. I took her once a long time ago and it did not bother me. After I had my miscarriage though things inside me changed. I do love her very much and want what is best for her and I am not judging her decission. But it would cause me great pain to go. I think I might actually fall apart.
• United States
26 Mar 07
Wow. That was really harsh. It's not like her cousin asked her to take her to the circus. She's talking about an abortion. People have very strong views about abortion. And for someone who is against it, she has every right to not take her. I'm doubting that her cousin has no other friends and family. Her cousin should respect her feelings on abortion and ask someone else to take her. I am against abortion and I would not accompany anyone to get the procedure done. I wouldn't ridicule the person for their choice, but I would not be there to encourage it.
1 person likes this
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
26 Mar 07
At some point we have to stand up for what we believe in. And a true friend wouldn't ask you to participate in something that was against your moral values. I can understand her disappointment, though, if you were someone she could always count on.
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
26 Mar 07
I do not know why it is you feel you cannot take your cousin there. I really do not understand you from what you have written in your post. You say you think it is her choice. I am sure she knows how you feel about this. Still she has made this choice, and needs your help. I am sure it was a difficult choice for her to make. She knows you disagree. I do not think she will believe you agree with her choice if you bring her to the clinic. What you will be doing is not aid with the abortion. You will be helping your cousin and friend, someone you love, on a day that will be extremely hard for her to get through. That is an important part of a friendship to me: be there for your friends even if you disagree with their choice. I understand if your cousin gets very sad and dissapointed with your choice. Not because you do not share her view on abortion, but because she feels you are turning your back on her.