Do you agree with controlled crying?

@muscare (3069)
Australia
March 31, 2007 6:27am CST
There is a new book on parenting, in which the authors have agreed that controlled crying for young children is not good for them. My wife and I didn't use the method,but instead use a reward system in which we have a chart with stickers, as our son was old enough to undestand it. We found this works very well. My mother in law forced the controlled crying down our throat, saying we ' have to' do it to get our son to sleep by himself.I think that was about the time my wife and I decided that method wasn't right, especially for our son.What do you think?
3 responses
@mememama (3077)
• United States
8 Apr 07
We've never used any kind of crying it out. My son slept through the night when he was ready. I firmly believe in tending to a childs needs. I recently posted an article why, here's a link http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question: Chemical and hormonal imbalances in the brain Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system. 5, 9, 11, 16 Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression. 17 One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies. 14. Dr. Bruce Perry’s research at Baylor University may explain this finding. He found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times. 6 Dr. Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine has demonstrated that the stress hormone cortisol (which floods the brain during intense crying and other stressful events) actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain. In addition, when the portions of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional control are not stimulated during infancy (as may occur when a baby is repeatedly neglected) these sections of the brain will not develop. The result – a violent, impulsive, emotionally unattached child. He concludes that the sensitivity and responsiveness of a parent stimulates and shapes the nerve connections in key sections of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional well-being. 7, 8 Decreased intellectual, emotional, and social development Infant developmental specialist Dr. Michael Lewis presented research findings at an American Academy of Pediatrics meeting, concluding that “the single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.” Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills. 19 Dr. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged crying (but not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at 5 years of age. They also showed poor fine motor development. (2) Researchers at Pennsylvania State and Arizona State Universities found that infants with excessive crying during the early months showed more difficulty controlling their emotions and became even fussier when parents tried to consol them at 10 months. 15 Other research has shown that these babies have a more annoying quality to their cry, are more clingy during the day, and take longer to become independent as children 1. Harmful physiologic changes Animal and human research has shown when separated from parents, infants and children show unstable temperatures, heart arrhythmias, and decreased REM sleep (the stage of sleep that promotes brain development). 10 12, 13 Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively. (3) and (4)
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
9 Apr 07
Thank you very much for your information. My wife and I, as new parents, decided we did not agree with controlled crying, immediately going to him whenever he started. I would have loved to have had this info ayear or so ago, so that I could have shown it to the mother in law when she kept ramming the controlled crying down our throats whenever we mentioned our son wasn't sleeping by himself. Mind you, she would have told us the information was wrong, she has four kids and that she would know!!!
@spindrift (197)
31 Mar 07
Controlled crying is a no go in our house when the baby is young it may be ok to let them cry for a while they soon do go to sleet if that os what they need. But for our 2 year old who will not sleep on his own now and just climbs out his bed if we left him for any time so we have taken the sides off his cotbed and now he climbs in to our bed in the middle of the night but he only does this with us of course and when he sleeps at my mums if she keeps them for a night he will sleep right through amazing we let mumbaby sit for two nights in a row we hoped may be he would settle in to the sleep pattern but when he came home it was back to noramal so tonight I am keeping him up late hoping that he will need to sleep for longer and if I do this a for a week or so I will see how he goes I most of all will be needing sleep I think.
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
1 Apr 07
I think one of the reasons a child sleeps better for the grandparent is they haven't go the same bond as they have with the parent and therefore don't need or want to spend the extra time at night with them!
@spindrift (197)
31 Mar 07
Sorry i will answer the question No i do not think that controlled crying works for every child depends on the age and their emotions I think.