How would you break up with someone you don't love anymore?
@pretty_lady_venus (34)
Philippines
March 31, 2007 11:21am CST
Hey guys! Can you help my friend out? She needs to break up with her boyfriend but she doesn't know how to do it... you see, it's kindah complicated...Well, actually, unfair, it seems to me... Coz she's breaking up because her ex BF came back... (Ah that stupid girl! she still believes in that guy's lie!) But i really can't stop her...she damn love the other guy... poor currrent bf...so what could i advise her...what do you think?
4 people like this
22 responses
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
31 Mar 07
I would say it is best for you not to get involved with this. Your friend is tempted to go back to her old boyfriend. But their relationship didn't work the first time. so I wonder what makes her think it would work a second time. She must not really have been in love with the guy she is with at the moment. I feel sorry for him. He probably hasn't done anything wrong.
Your friend will do what she feels is right. But it will probably lead to at least one person getting hurt emotionally. If she does leave her current goy and go back with her ex she might regret that one day. She might see a day when she wishes she was back with her current boyfriend. But, by then it will be too late.
1 person likes this
@pretty_lady_venus (34)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
ok...i won't say anything to her... but i just feel so sorry for her current bf... he's also my friend.
@rabi9634 (419)
• United States
31 Mar 07
There's a huge difference between being involved and encouraging honesty. If you're friends with both of them, you're GOING to get dragged in one way or another. I know if I was this guy, and all of a sudden my girlfriend had a new boyfriend, and I found out that our mutual friend knew all along, I would be ROYALLY TICKED about it. You can kiss your friendship with him goodbye if that happens.
On the other hand, she tells him, you'll likely get questions on why she's doing what she's doing, and at least then can be honest and tell him what you told us. You have no clue.
You need to stay out of it as much as possible, but all the while you have to encourage her to be honest with this guy. There's no need for you to be the go-between. If she has something to tell him (and she obviously does), then it's her place to do so. If she asks why she should bother, you should have no hesitation in telling her that despite her not wanting to continue her relationship, you still would like to protect your friendship with him.
Wow, again, honesty. I think I see a recurring theme here.
1 person likes this
@Kohmaria (3)
• India
31 Mar 07
Hi!!! Yes, I do believe that she shouldnt go to her ex-bf. I also agree that Girls are nuts. I do agree that your friend is stupid. But that is exactly what girls are....
You wont be able to stop her from going back to her ex-bf. If you insist her, then she wont share her life with you. So all that you can do is, Just leave her. Let her do what ever she wants to.
The best way to break her affair with current bf for her would be to go and tell her current bf everything frankly. She should not make any kind of excuses, because that will hurt him more. The more straight forward she would be to her current bf. the less problems will arise for you and her.
I am a guy, I myself have gone through this phase of time. It was indeed difficult for me to come out of that shock, but somehow i managed.
I am sorry if i hurt you by saying that girls are stupid. Hope you will forgive me for that. But that is a fact...
@pretty_lady_venus (34)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
exxxxxcuuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeee...
Boys can be as stupid as girls...when you're in love you don't know what you can do...sometimes you can even drive yourself crazy because you're in love with someone... i remember this line in the movie "Hercules", when Megara told HErcules that "You do crazy things when you're in love."
Stupidity isn't judge because of what one does that seem so unusual for you... Stupidity is something that everybody has...coz we're not perfect right? So don't ever, ever, ever say that GIRLS are stupid coz you might be more stupid than a girl....
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I would tell her to really stop and think about what she is doing..she is about to leave the person she is with for someone she had already..life is about going forward..if this guy is her ex, he is her ex for a reason..its just a bad idea..but love is full of bad ideas..
@dbeast (1495)
• India
1 Apr 07
well as you are a close friend of hers you sshouldnt be posting this question instead you should be trying to talk some sense into this friend of yours.how can she love a person and when another one comes back let go of her love for the other person.it isnt true love then is it?i am sure this guy is going to be heart broken when he finds out the real reason behind all this.i am sorry for him.
@complexvanilla (653)
• India
31 Mar 07
I have seen people as fickle minded as your friend and have been at the receiving end of such a fickle minded girl's actions too! One thing I want to tell you is that try not to influence her decisions, one way or the other. Such people are easily led into making decisions and they can be made to sway in any direction, but later, if things don't go well, you will be the person who will be blamed for all the things that are going wrong! This is the way such people react! If you tell her to stick on with her present boyfriend and she even does that and God forbid their relationship breaks off some time in the future, she will start blaming you for her decision to stay with this guy and say that but for you, she would have gone with her true love!!! THe same would be the case if you tell her to go back to her old BF too, so steer clear of this girl. Let her take her own decisions, right or wrong. That way, if things go well, no problem, else she will have only herself to blame.
@pretty_lady_venus (34)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
Ok...I won't say anything to her...but i'll just stay at her back so that if she needs a shoulder to cry on, i'll lend mine... Thanks!
@magnet (2087)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I broke up with my ex boyfriend in college because I was so bored with him. I dated him since high school and I wanted to start dating other guys and just be free and not so committed. So, I just called him and told him that I want to break up and I hung up the phone. That was the end of the relationship. I guess that sounds cold but I felt like I was wasting my time with him and I did not want to end up cheating on him because I wasn't satisfied.
@emisle (3822)
• Ireland
1 Apr 07
I think that if she doesn't love her boyfriend than the sooner she lets him know, the better.
Her ex bf may not be a good guy, but unless she discovers that for herself than I doubt she'll pay you any heed.
I'd tell her to break up with her current boyfriend and hope that her ex has changed.
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
1 Apr 07
She has to do what makes her happy. Staying with someone you don't love and yearning for someone you do isn't good for anyone. She should do it with class, explaining face to face her dilemma to the boyfriend and definitely say she is sorry for hurting him now but thinks it's better then staying with him and being unhappy.
Honesty is the best policy.
@fieryfrost (316)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
Hi there. I think honesty is the best policy. As they say it's better to hear the awful truth than to live a lie forever. I guess she just needs to talk to her current boyfriend and tell him everything, the reason, basically everything. I know he'll probably get mad or something but hey, if she was in his position, she would also like to know the truth from him and not hear it from anybody else...worse, to be the last one to know.
@dbeamon (128)
• United States
1 Apr 07
if u are a true friend then u will be supportive of whatever decission she makes. i understand he current bf his alo ur friend. however can still be friends with bth of them. just tell them and make it clear u r not going to be brought into the middle of there problems. i also agree with e1 else u should encourage the honesty part on both sides. but dont get involved u could loose both friends.
@mskzalameda (4023)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
i will just tell him that i don't love him anymore because delaying tactics will not work for both of us. i can only hurt him so much for pretending to love him but the real thing is not. it is better to say it earlier than to wait. no one knows, maybe he also had the same feeling about you and just shy to reveal it for he might hurt your friend's feelings. better say it now or never.
@freshrainer (284)
• China
1 Apr 07
If break up really can't be avoided, just say it frankly. It is better to use other tricks. Or he will be hure more deeply and even anger. Sometime you can choose to ignore him. Refuse him with silence whatever happens. If he is not a fool, he can know it.
@ritusinha12 (2)
• India
1 Apr 07
u just her in realizing that how much current boy friend loves her and she will more happy with him then the ex one.just remind her all the gud things the new boy friend did for her.
@KiraSienna (45)
• United States
31 Mar 07
First tell her that she will regret it later. Tell her she might as well be honest and upfront with her current boyfriend and just go ahead and get it over with. No matter how she tells him it's probably not going to end very well.
@kyran_12 (643)
• India
1 Apr 07
i had my last girlfriend where i was almost forced into the relation , i had lot of rulz at the time but then it was imotional blackmailing sort of thing which i never liked ,,,to break with the girl i first show some bad qualities which is was angree of and then never reply to calls then no more meetings and slowly it got over ....i think pretending to be the worst person on planet is the good way to get rid of anyone...........cheers
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
It probably sounds wrong and unfair but hey, you should follow your heart, right? So if she feels that she loves her ex, then by all means she should definitely go back to him.
But she's got some MAJOR apologizing to do to her current boyfriend, because she used him as a spare tire, and that's wrong. This should be the main theme of her breakup line -- apologizing to her current boyfriend for getting involved with him even if she didn't really love him. The guy will find out sooner or later, so she might as well tell the brutal truth.
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
1 Apr 07
she should say why
also, if she dis the current one, then if she ever wants him back, very little chance of that
thats what I think
anyway, always say why, a girl dumped me 25 years ago, didn't say why, I'm still wondering what was so wrong with me. She was rich, I was poor, probly that was it.
@umeeed (14)
• Pakistan
31 Mar 07
I believe that u should never break up with any one but if u r facing worst conditions u are allowed to break up.
For breaking up with any one the most simplest way is that start avoiding her.During ur meetings try to show that with that person u are feeling incovenience.
This will also decrease ur love in that persons heart, and gradually u will get rid of that person
@rabi9634 (419)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Honesty is the best policy. Yeah, her current boyfriend is not going to take it well. This may even come as something of a shock to her. Some people just don't get it.
She needs to tell him. Having been in the role of the current boyfriend, he has a right to hear it from her. Otherwise, he's likely to think that she's cheating on him w/ some other dude. If he finds out without her telling him, or if he catches her cheating, he's likely to get physical w/ the other guy and really jump her case for putting him into such a situation.
She also needs to realize that there's likely NO CHANCE of her and the current guy remaining friends. What she's doing is dumb, rather cruel, and certainly not worth it for the guy she has right now.
