Question about marriage ?

@samrat16 (2442)
India
April 1, 2007 11:26pm CST
Why does everybody say to wait a yr or more to get married cause it wont work out if you rush into it..Well my wife and I only knew each other for 10 months when we got married and we have been happily married 4 yrs and it worked out and we didnt date a yr or more.
6 people like this
17 responses
2 Apr 07
I think because divorce is quite easy to obtain in most countries now, it is easier to live with someone and decide you are not compatible, than to marry and get a divorce! I personally say if you are sure and want to be with that person forever, if there are no doubts at all; Go for it! I am glad you and your wife are happy. (You had me worried with one of your other discussions!)
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I would have to say that it differs for every couple. The people who tend to say to wait a yr or two are people who think that is better to know a person before actually committing yourself to a lifelong commitment. Marriage is not something that should be entered into lightly and should be a decision that is thought about before doing. I am happy for you and your wife, as my husband and I were not together that long either before we got married, but we had common goals & both wanted the same thing out of a marriage. To each his own is my motto!!
2 people like this
@aprilsong (1886)
• China
2 Apr 07
Well, i think it depends.And you are the lucky ones.I have heard some couples who have dated for as long as 8 yrs,but ended up as divorce after marriage.And i also have know someone whose marriage is arranged by parents and know nothing about his wife before marriage,but has a very happy life. I think to have a happy and lasting marriage we should know how to understand each other and compromise to each other.
@anya11111 (169)
• India
2 Apr 07
marraige is an adjustment. how well you adjust to each other is the key question. it is very relatve to say that a marraige is successful!
2 people like this
@mansha (6301)
• India
2 Apr 07
Those who adviser caution are just being protective of you. In India getting married to a person totally unknown to you is very common and most marriages are successful too. Its now the trend is changing. marriage is allabout adjusting to each other and if you are ready for that you can have a successful relatioship with anyone. Number of years are not the yard stick I would measure a marriage with. people say in unhappy marriages for over ten years and sometimes initial three four years are hapily spent and problems start after you have kids or after a number of years. success depends on how much you are giving in the relationship and its an ongoign process and you have to keep workig on it. It goes sour when you stop making the effort.
2 people like this
@aissha (2036)
• India
2 Apr 07
hey samrat ,if u r getting married then it doesn't matter how much u date people get divorced after soooo manyn yrs,it is and only how u want to be together,if u are in habit of each other u siply can't leave him/her ,habit can't be changed,we didin't date even for a single day though we were in touch for the whole 4 months b/w engagement and marriage thru email and daily phone for 1 hr. or so ,still living together is different and we are so much in each others habit we can't sleep after lil fight.ve.............ry long answer ,hai na lol dear,
2 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 07
I think people say this is because when you first start dating both people tend to put their best foot forward. They try to impress eachother...win eachother over...sweep eachother off their feet. The first few months of any relationship is usually the most romantic. After you have been with a person for awhile...those romantic feelings tend to wear off and you are able to find out who that person really is without the romance to cloud your thoughts.
2 people like this
@superchook (1786)
• Australia
5 Apr 07
I don't understand why people say this, you could be together for a few years before getting married and only have your marriage last a couple of years. No-one knows if a marriage will work forever or not. I don't think it matters if you have been together for a short time or a long time, you can never guarantee that your marriage will last, you just have to try and hope for the best. My husband and I were together for two years before getting married. I had to wait until I was 18 before getting married. When I turned 18, I got married and we have been happily married for 13 years now. Congratulations to you and your wife for having a happy marriage. A lot of marriages don't last long anymore.
1 person likes this
@Buchi_bulla (8299)
• India
5 Apr 07
Marriage is like an institution and not a contract. From a compact marriage, you get maximum happiness and peace and contentment. Hence better not to hurry up to get marry and take good time in understanding each other and to some extent come to a conclusion that you can get along well. However, if you are lucky, without much time gap if you marry also, your marriage will be splendid. God bless you both Samrat in your Marriage Samrajya (Meaning marriage kingdom).
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
5 Apr 07
You seem to be a lucky person, not everyone is as blessed as you. See, as a kid our parents take all our important decision for us, which shapes our future. Marriage is one of the most important decision of our life, which we take. One decision that can make or break a person. So generally people say that you should think, ponder, infact think twice and ask yourself, is this the person you want to marry. Not that this is the person you want to live with but is this the one person you can not live without? People only ask you to wait so that we take time to decide future, dont face a fall in life.
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
3 Apr 07
i believe its the unforseen that makes these people not go on to the next level of the relationship that fast. One really has to be ready before actually committing his or her whole life to another person. one must know the person wholly and must be very ready to face a new life with a husband or wife. Marriage i believe is not as easy as it seems. It involves a lot of responsibilities and there will be a lot of compromises. Especially because not two people are really the same. each one is different. In thoughts, in attitude, and this would require a lot of patience and understanding so before actually getting into a lifetime forever one must see to it that he or she is indeed ready for that life!
• United States
3 Apr 07
I think it depends on the maturity and age of the people. Sometimes, a commitment of life, needs a bit time of really knowing someone. I am happy that for you, it worked out. Usually it doesn't.
1 person likes this
@bluewings (3857)
3 Apr 07
I don't think we can go by a set rule.There are many couples that find it hard to tie the knot even after two years while there are some who have barely known each other for 2 months and are happily married.I think it depends on the people involved and how well they know each other.The commitment comes from understanding each other and not exactly a stipulated time frame.
1 person likes this
@kerry1804 (214)
• India
2 Apr 07
marriage is completely matter of luck.. if you have girlfriend then its just need a strike, but if you don't have gf then you will keep on looking, looking and will find some sorts of falut in girl and will try to keep pending the marriage...
1 person likes this
• Israel
2 Apr 07
I don't think everybody say this. I don't. I think a couple should be toghether enough so each one would feel the certainty that comes before getting married. There is no formal period of time. I know people who got married after only two weeks toghether and even less and they live quite happily. For me, and I want to emphesize it is my opinion, two weeks is realy to "rush into it". You should wait until the hormones settle down a bit, and then look at the future with a little less hormones-affected eyes. In our tradition, people used to bond exactly a year before the wedding. It caused many problems, for the girls were bonded by the fathers who wanted to have a good heritage and all... it was like this in most cultures in the world. Some of the more religious fanatics still act this way till nowdays. It is not too good, but they say their life is perfect this way, so I guess for them it is good. As in everything, there are exceptions... I am glad to read your life with your wife is great. It does not matter how long you have been toghether before, it is the time after marriage that counts for that question. I believe all the time spent toghether (no matter when the marriage was) is what realy counts.
@Ravrockin (281)
• India
2 Apr 07
congrates & wish you happy and bright future.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
2 Apr 07
In my opinion, it doesn't need a year or more if :- 1) both are prepared to settle down against all odds regardless of how long they dated 2) both already knew and understand each other before dating 3) both are "forced" into marriage 4) both see each other almost every day It may take years if either party is not ready to commit or have some reservations about the marriage. I guess you could have spent sufficient time together before getting married. 10 months seeing each other everyday is equivalent to 2 over years if the couple meets 3 times a week :P
1 person likes this