Being pregnant before marriage usually happening this time..

Philippines
April 2, 2007 12:33am CST
Pregnancy before marriage happened to some of the ladies this time.. Me, too, become pregnant and the worst is i dont have husband. It's common nowadays that the girl will become pregnant first before marrying their boyfriends.. What can you say about this? Or you are one of us.. Thanks is advance..
11 people like this
37 responses
@spindrift (197)
10 Apr 07
Does it really matter if you are pregnant before you get married or not? Think how many marriages end in divorce and the kids in the middle. I think if a couple are happy together and have a baby why should they feel they have to married because of that connection between them and I you have a baby and no husband or your boyfriend dumps you then you are better off with out them and should enjoy the role of motherhood . Be happy with what caomes along and do not rush i to marriage jut because a babus happens to you bath first many couples bring up happy familys without ever getting married
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
2 Apr 07
It is a sad fact of today. Shows that you all like to play russian roulette with your health. You knew for a fact that this dude is disease free? What about support and rights for the kids. So much better for children to enter this world from within marriage. Is this a method for trapping men? All my children have been born within a marriage situation! I planned and wanted them on purpose for our relationship and he wanted them too.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Apr 07
Becoming pregnant before marriage is now a common thing indeed. Some because it's their choice and some because of accidents. In my case, I fall for the first one, I was 22 at that time and my boyfriend (my husband now) is still studying. I didn't beg him to marry me at the time I first learned my pregnancy because I'm afraid I might regret it and I don't want to be the reason why he didn't finished his study, I don't want to be blamed by him. But later on he realized how much will happen if we didn't get married so we decided to be married. I thought of the psychological effects that will incurred to my child if we won't be married. Right now, I'm happy with my married life and my precious family.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Apr 07
This is very disadvantageous especially for the child. You may not know it, but the child suffers most if the mother goes through some kind of fits of insecurity, nervousness, getting lost as to what will be the best thing to do having gotten pregnant out of wedlock... The bad condition which is being dealt with, gets worse if the boyfriend is having second thoughts about moving on with the relationship, if he is not supportive of the pregnancy (most men are), or if he reveals he has had other children before yours, or that he is already married. If going into having relationships overboard, it is best to observe some measures to prevent the onset of pregnancy. There are so many now available for everyone so very easily. Next time, be cautious. I am not a judgmental person so don't worry. I am more concerned of what you are going through now and moreso, with the baby. See the doctor and keep to the schedules without fail so the baby will come out healthy. If the man intends to marry you, then that's good. If he shies away, see if there is a possibility that he can support you until delivery and the once the baby is out, he must provide for the baby. It will never be easy to be a single parent. So be prepared.
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
that is one of the serious problem our community are facing today and i wish government is still aware and thinking of possible idea to resolve the growing situation. i am focusing in general and not only in you. i hope you be a good parents even you don't have a husband and i am sure you will. pregnant women without marriage, we cannot put all the blame to parents, not all parens are neglecting their children , no parents can bring a harm to their child,the factors that we should consider also is the way parents educate their children, the community and right decision. if the parents are good to give proper education to the child, but the child is in the stage that they are finding their personality, they are curious and influence , they can lead to anything that bring harm to them.if the parents is doing everything for their child but their child don't want to listen to them anymore they are not acquitted for neglecting their child.it is now time for their children to take the disdavantage of their decision. this is for you, it is like learning from mistake. you know people like you that had experience such difficulty are ones of the better person today, and you will be a better parents too.
@Connie1013 (1098)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I was that girl twice. I didn't learn a darn thing from the first time. I was 18 and dumb. The second time I was almost newly divorced. They babies are 16 months apart. In my case, marriage should not have fallowed a pregnancy. In the second case of my second born son, it was a great idea. We are still married 14 years later.
@xelissa (777)
• New Zealand
7 Apr 07
I had my boyfriend when I was 16. I got pregnant at 17 and married him at 18 when it was legally possible. I'm 21 going on 22 so I've been with him for almost 8 years. I'm in a stable relationship so it makes it real easier to care for a child. Bringing a child into this world is something great, but its hard without some to help out
@blondbat (504)
• United States
6 Apr 07
Accidents happen. But they could also be prevented. Did you get pregnant so your bf would marry you? Do you want to marry your bf? I had a similar situation when I was younger. I was living w/my bf and found I was pregnant. Because of a great many serious issues, both health-related and other, I ended the pregnancy. We did end up getting married later, and were divorced soon after. The only thing I ever regretted was being in a place where I had to decide what to do about being pregnant, not the action I decided on. I don't know what your life or family situation is, but be very sure about a few things - are you prepared to be responsible for this child for the rest of both of your lives? If you will marry the bf, would you two be marrying because of mutual love and respect or just because of the baby? Do you have the kind of support system that would allow you to raise a child by yourself - income, family, friends, etc. if that was your/his choice? I am not judging or condemning or suggesting anything, I was in this same position myself. These are just things to think about. Why do you say it common that girls will become pregnant before marrying thier boyfriends? I am just curious about that, I am not condemning or commenting in any way.
@lafavorito (2970)
• Philippines
6 Apr 07
Hi there! I think it's better to be a single mother than to have an abusive partner or husband. Being a single parent nowadays is no longer a taboo because people are getting more educated and open minded about this kind of situation. My experience taught me that pregnancy is not enough reason for marriage, I got pregnant before my boyfriend (now husband) are married. We agreed that we'll wait for the baby to arrive before we decide about getting married, the reason is that we want to deal with the pregnancy and childbirth before stressing ourselves in the preparation of a wedding. Eventaully we got married 5 months after our son was born and we'll be celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary on the 30th.
@pinklilly (3446)
• Australia
6 Apr 07
I am one of them I have two children and still not married although we are classified as defacto which is practicly marriage just No certificate or change of Name and that suites my just fine Don't have to worry about spending thousands of $$$ on a wedding....
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
3 Apr 07
I think the fact that couples choose to live together without marrying devalues the female and the relationship. To have a child without a strong relationship is too, too, sad. The woman will be left to cope and the child will miss out on so much. Parenthood is about 2 parents, not 1. Unless your family are there for you a lot of the time helping and supporting you and being a stable influence in your child's life then you will have problems. Yes, I've been there.
• United States
3 Apr 07
I am not one who got pregnant before marriage but my daughter did. My husband family thought she should get married to the father and I thought different. That does not solve the problem at all. She stayed with the father for almost a year but it just did not work out at all. I am glad she did not marry him. That is not always the answer at all. You have to do what is right for you as a person.
@anja31 (708)
• Canada
3 Apr 07
Marriage is something that you decide, even though you are pregnant and you dont want to be married woman. For me it is just normal to live on your onw or living together with your boyfriend, Although I was married when I became pregnant, it is just a paper more thats all.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
3 Apr 07
No I'm not but I have a couple of good friends who have. One of them got married after. the other her boyfriend left after she had the baby.
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
2 Apr 07
my two kids, both loved and cared for - Both kids, born in wedlock, but could not be more loved and marriage does not change that
blessed be
this is something that is happening more and more often lately. I honestly dont think it is a problem. What is important is that any child is loved, how can a ceremony designed to apease god change that?
@ydnac22 (804)
• Philippines
2 Apr 07
Being pregnant before getting married.Yes! That's actually the what's common nowadays. Just last month when I heared that one of my close friend is getting married because she pregnant.I was surprised and excited for her.I just can't forget the last time we talked and she said that his boyfriend 7 years older than her is already desperate to marry him but she dont want yet cause shes still young.When that happened she hide it to me.I just heared the news from another friend.Then I talked to here not to get ashamed of what happened instead to be happy for it cause she have a very loving and nice BF and I'm sure they will be happy together.Well,We're just human being,we're sometimes weak specially when where in love but no matter what love bring us what is important is we know how to face every consequences it brings. In your case dont be sad.Just accept the reality and move on.You might fall inlove to a wrong guy but look forward I'm sure somebody deserving is waiting for you.Ready to marry you and accept your past.Goodluck.
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
2 Apr 07
There is nothing to say Sweet It happens and it is quite normal today, as far as I am concerned it has nothing to do with anyone it is your Life Anmd if that is what you want then you do it.
@natzki (7)
• Philippines
2 Apr 07
being pregnant before marriage is not ideal but it does happen. It happened to me. I had 2 kids before i decided to marry my husband, and now we have 4, no regrets!
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I was 17 when I got with my guy, and I am now 23, 6 years later we are still together and have two wonderful children...However, we have yet to marry. I feel that we should, and we are discussing it, but it seems we never find the time. Hopefully we will though.
@bad1981 (799)
• United States
2 Apr 07
It is ok, pregnancy isnt a bad thing and jsut because you have a husband doesnt mean that everything will be ok. There are some very loving couples out there that love their kids very much and arent married. I also dont think you need to rush into marriage because you have a child. As long as you two love that child and each other thats all that matters. I had my kids after we were married, but if it would have happend before that it wouldnt have bothered either of us. Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby!