my love happening in arabic :sad

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hi everyone ,iwant to share my feeling about arabic stroy with others ,hope body readed withyour siner heart . the story like that : three mouth ago I meet an eypt boy from ICQ ,his name is lida ,younger one year than me ,and we talked so happily even though short time and then add eath other in msn ,at that time his friend koko is near him and seeing my sending pic ,so request lida to tell him my msn ,at that time lida asked if like to meet koko ,i say glad tomeet ,so he give koko my msn ,so koko talked to me happily ,maybe at that time lida seldom speak just keep silent ,later lida tell me ,he hope me to refuse koko ,but how can i know that if he didi not tell me ?the first talking koko alsogive me a good impression and ask me to see him on cam ,but lida did not at first time . the second time ,it is asmost getting off working ,lida is starting on msn ,at that time he requeste me to open mic ,i agree and talking so good ,and he opened cam for me really handsome one ,his voice is so magnic ,and aslo he praised me to haveanice voice ,at that time i praised him havea good voice same as my bf ,he was so shocoked and could not belive it is true ,and say he is so lucky and some thing .in all words aslp talked happliey ,he told me he is alone ,but at that time Idid notfeel he had not parents ,justthink maybe he is alone . one day he told me heis so missing her parents ,Iask why ,so he told me about her parents died when he was young ,so iam so sorry to hear that really ,maybe iam more sad than him .since that time Iam so careful of refering parents ,but he was gernous ,and saying everythingwil be ok , no mind ,so iam very happy for his extrovert . as different time between two country so have different time to work ,he was always on msn when Iwas almost leaving work sometimes . at thattime ,honest speaking lida give me moregood impression than koko ,he was more handsome than koko and easy going just feel that .he and koko worked in a same company and sometimes work in diferent time ,sometime same idid not know clearly . once time ,koko say to me : he like me and want to ask my sexy pic ,iam so shoked at thattime ,so i bloked him and tell lidaabout this ,lida is so sorry ,and I asked why introduce thiskind of boy to me ?he was so sorry saying : he did not very familiarwith koko .,so very sorry ,I say ok ,forget him ,he told me his true feelingwhen introducing koko to me ,he hope me to refuse but I acecept ,isay iam sorry ,he say no mind . but later koko send me letters asked me why block himand some thing .so iam so kind not want to hurt someone ,so add him again ,so talked ,this time he never talked to ask me my pic ,honest speaking I give lida some many pic ,but give koko little ,,later lida tolde me koko steal my pic from lida's computer to his computer,lida later find it ,iam so shoked when lida told me ,he said he asked koko ,but koko didi not admit .and later lida had delete my pic from koko's computer completly ,when koko asked lida if he had done ,lida admit ,and koko saying nothing . at thattime ,koko seldom to talk to me ,lida always talk to me ,and aslo i had a bad impression to koko .when koko greeting to me ,i jusy say sorry now busy ,and something else ,and anotheris koko is 27 years old ,so koko just say ok iam waiting and something else . there area lot to say ,there are a lot to happen,during these days ,i aslo make some records for lida to express my care to lida ,from my feeling lida is a good and honest and good manner's boy ,so i cherish our friendship .when iam free i wil review our talking history and his pic and listen his giving arabic song . few days before ,lida was so busy ,I send him so many letters and two mobile messager but he never reply ,iam so mind of this,these days koko always talked to me ,it is his contry customand something else , iwant to ask koko about lida ,but think maybe he mind.as before i asked himabout lida he is mind ,and aslo hug to express friendship ,no speciall meaning ,but at last I know when I talked with koko these days ,lida sometimes see my huging to koko and some thing ,it was my latering knowing about that . today when Iam starting on work ,lida is appearing on msn ,iam so suprised and happy ,as before he wil never come on msn at the time ,so i greeted for him ,he aslo do ,i asked how are you ? he was ill for flu and could not eat well ,i was so sorry to hear that , and i asked him why did not reply to me my letters ,he say did not receive that , o my god but here display successfully sending i told him ,I say to him every letters I am writing is with my sinere heartand honest care ,if not receive i really disspoited for my result .isay to him I will check my sending email ,he said forget and change topic ,I said no ,Iwill check ,hesaid if stil go on that ,he will go ,iam puzzled by his action and saying ok ,and then he asked ? if talk with koko this days ?Isay yes, he asked : if you hug koko ? i say just expressing friendship ,why not ?he say he ignore that ,he asked ?if kiss koko and like him and love him ? i say no ,how can I like him as i have my bf .he say to me iam lieing ,i say iam not lieing Iam honest ,heasked : ok before you promise me notto hug anyboy ,why broken ? I say : hug is not meaning lover do ,it is with many kind meaning .and aslo he was musilim ,muslim mind kiss and hug ,I say : no Idi not break my promise ,that is not my fault ,and aslo Ican hug you ,but you say itis sin ,so i seldom hug . hesay : ok ,i wil leave you forever ,and i am so shoked and saying how can you stand ? how can you leave me alone ? he justdid not care and say : last time to greeting and have anice hug with koko and your bf in your country ,happy and take care .and then close msn forever . iam so sad and asmost crasy ,why treat me like that ?and then i send him one by one letter just express my deepling care and no departure ,somany maybe more than 10 letters ,but he did not reply unitl now .i really disspoited now .what should do next ?ireally want to continue this relationship with him ,but now how ? I could not stoping miss lida ,and at that night I drink so many beer to induldge myself ,sosad and want to cry ,even though in my dream I call his name ….. Next day I still missed him ,and give him a mobile messger to explain I need to keep in touch ,but he did not reply ,I think maybe need time to heal that misunderstainding ,and Iwas waiting ,and unitl alsomost off working ,I can not help to send him a letterand nice missing card to him ,Iam waiting ,when going home ,iwant to call him but all shopping is closing ,so unitl next day moring I try tocall him ,maybe he was sleepingas different time between two country .,when I picked it up call ,so neverous and expecting ,before we were good relationship I call him twice ,only short time the frist is : 28seconds ,and the second time is 2minites ,so expensive cost ,now iamwating his call ,after 38seconds later he picked call ,iam saying : iam river how are you lida ,? He just say well ,I say so fast :lida ,I could not stop leaveing you ,I need your care ,pls listen to my explanation on msn .at that time he say somgthing I cold not follow him well just listen what relationship .I asked him : if can talk to me on msn someday ? he say : ok but not now ,now so many work to do and need time .Iam so happy as there are hope to make ,so I say ok iamwaiting ,at that time almost to 3 minites ,so he stil say something but I need togo to work so just hold down the call ,I become better ,now iam waiting for his appearing on msn …….. What will happen for us ,good or better or bad or worse or worst ,I did not know ,hope god bless me ,everything will be ok ,let it be ………….. To be continued…