How strict is too strict?
By momoffour
@momoffour (93)
United States
April 3, 2007 9:55pm CST
My daughter, who is about to turn 11 this month has a crush on a boy who lives across the street from our house. This boy is obnoxious and does not have what I like to call home-training. He has a bad attitude towrds adult, swears when he thinks I am not around , and the worst of all he broke my personal space rule (DO not touch my daughter or come into her personal space). But the soft touch in me feels bad for him because he comes from a pretty troubled home, he has said to my daughter that his step-dad is abusive at home. It kills me because the boy, who is 12, comes to my house and calls me mom while he hangs around all the time because he says his parents are fighting. I want to tell my daughter that she has to stay at home and focus on books not boys. I tried this evening to explain to her that she needs to worry about her grades and practicing her violin and have fun be a kid and not try to grow up so fast. She burst into tears. Sigh.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I know at that age, it is very hard to sink in not be in a hurry to grow up and prioritize studying, especially if you have your first crush. But I know your daughter will understand sooner or later as you keep on reminding her.
As for this boy, I hope he will listen to you if you talk to him gently about good manners because probably in his house, people are busy fighting that they don't noticed him. At 12, he thinks he is a grown up but deep inside, that is why he calls you Mom because he is just a child at heart. But make sure that this other side of him (meek) coz like you said he is obnoxious ,is not just for pretend. True colors will come out soon and if he is just pretending...do not allow him to come to your house again.
@momoffour (93)
• United States
4 Apr 07
yes, thank you. I think that is what I am going to have to do, When I try to mention things that I do not like him doing around my children like throwing rocks around my three years old so that he learns to do it too, he ignores me and my daughter has to remind him "hey you have to answer her" and he says I heard you! He talks to his own mother the same way. I am not sure my cupcakes and gentle reminding will undo the years of damage a rough home life can do, believe me I know. He is starting to rub his bad attitude off on my daughter and I just cannot let him do that.
@gadget_kat (412)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I would only allow your daughter to see him when he comes over to your house. It seems he is much more respectful in your home. And if your daughter is busy doing homework or a chore, he can at least talk to you. If he has a bad homelife, maybe talking to an adult who is not in the family will make a difference to him. Maybe during little talks, talk about respecting people and doing well in school. He may respect you and take your advice to heart.
