Trusting others

@sigma77 (5385)
United States
April 8, 2007 10:35am CST
Is it easy for you to trust others? From your own experiences, are you able to take risks in trusting people? Or, do you listen to others and become fearful because they might not have had a good experience? I am much of the trusting type. I think virtually all people are good, for the most part. Even if I hear something in the news or from someone about a misplaced trust, I still relate it to my own experiences. I am willing to give anyone a chance and risk trusting them. That has been my overall conclusion based on decades of interactions with people. There are, of course, times when you have to turn the other way. From experience comes the ability to know who to trust and who not to. But experience is not always 100% reliable. How do you feel about trusting others? Do you form you own opinions right from the start? Do you have confidence to give others a change to become trusting? Thanks.
8 people like this
18 responses
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Hello Sigma77, I will admit that I rely wholly on my gut instinct or intuition when it comes to meeting strangers. There have been times when I ignored my own perception and judgement, and usually regretted it. So, I've learned to pay attention. Rather than giving a stranger the benefit of the doubt, I instead remain genuinely open to evaluating the person. As long as I remain free of judgement when I first meet a person, then whatever impressions or assessments I make about the person will be entirely based on how the stranger speaks and acts. And, it's my experience that between body language and verbal language, a stranger will reveal much about who they are. Although it doesn't happen often, there are times when assessing a person positively doesn't quiet the intuitive alarm that goes off deep inside of me. When that happens I will always trust my instict over learned evaluation skills. Maybe intuition is actually a spirit guide, guardian angel, or some other benevolent influence. I cannot say. What I do know is that when I've ignored that alarm, it's never been a positive experience.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Hi Luna, thanks for responding. I agree with intuition as a way to decide on trusting someone or not. Body language is a tough one for me to understand.
1 person likes this
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Good morning Sigma77, Body language is a tough one for many people. I have read much on the subject, and been privy to Neuro-linguistic programming training, which has been very helpful. However, it's alot of work. A very helpful short-cut to gaining some body language insight might be to watch "The O'Reilly Factor" on Tuesday nights. O'Reilly books a weekly body language expert, who is very informative. She regularly disects certain media clips to analyze the body language of those people show-cased on the clips. It's alway very interesting, and you can tell that O'Reilly really gets into learning the subtleties of body language.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Thanks for the info.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Apr 07
I have been hurt beyond belief so many times, by very close family and friends and stangers. However, I still trust people to a point. I have found that I am afraid to be myself completely with everyone. I can only be me with a handful of people. I suppose that is a way of guarding myself. I tend to be a little hermit too. + rating for you again my friend. Good posting. Bless you.
2 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
11 Apr 07
It makes me sad to hear that you have been often hurt. By saying you tend to be a hermit, do you mean you are on the shier side? I would have never guessed that about you. I guess if we have been burned at the stake often enough, it makes it harder to trust others.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Apr 07
I am with you I am totally too trusting of other people but I have a big heart and to be trusted you have to trust so in my conclusion yes I do trust the other person and as usual I get burnt in the process
2 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I hope you haven't gotten burnt to bad lately. In the end, I think we can go farther by trusting rather than be suspicious of everyone.
1 person likes this
@foogirl (87)
• United States
8 Apr 07
I'm trusting to a point. I've had alot of people betray me in my life and growing up..even my parents. So I'm sure that's the reason that I'm not quick to trust anyone. I have a select few people that I would trust my life with and any secret I may have, but beyond them...trust has to be earned. I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they make a mistake, but I'm always on the defensive if I feel that instinct. I've also always been pretty good at reading people, I don't know why, but I'm pretty good at it, and first impressions are big with me and stay with me forever!
2 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I think some are better at reading people than others. I don't know if it is a learned skill, or just a trait that some have. Thanks
1 person likes this
8 Apr 07
I think I give a degree of trust to new people I have never met, then depending on how well I get on with them will then decide how much more or little trust I give them, However in some situations I cannot trust anyone else other than myself, however hard I try.
2 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I can understand your feelings. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@patootie (3593)
14 Apr 07
I'm afraid from bitter past experiences I have lost my trust in folks unless I know them very well .. Anyone new has to work very hard to get me to trust them .. and even then I wouldn't be 100% sure .. Sometimes the folks you feel you should trust least are actually the most trustworthy though ..
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
14 Apr 07
That is very true, sometimes. The people you think you can trust without a seconf thouht, turn out to be the least trustworthy. Go figure.
@skbadhan (881)
• India
20 May 07
I don't find it to difficult to trust others. ya i form my openoin about the person from very right i can conclude wether is is trust worth or not after few dealings ,conversations.
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
19 May 07
I've had trust issues since I was a kid. Every time I thought I could trust someone, I got screwed over in a big way that really hurt. It made it hard to trust. Since only females seemed to screw me over, I ended up having more male friends (long story). Now, I've been screwed over by enough men too, so there is no more "bias" as far as I'm concerned. I'd just like to have friends period, whehter male or female, I just want people, besides my hubby, sister and parents that I can trust and talk to about things. I don't think it's too much to ask, do you?
@natalie1981 (2000)
• Singapore
19 May 07
I have to admit that I do have trust issues. It's hard for me to trust anybody specially if I'm in a new relationship. I've always believed that trust is earned. I think maybe it's because I really don't want to risk trusting anybody because I'm too afraid of getting hurt. Or maybe it's my training as an auditor. We were always thought to have some sort of skepticism about our clients' records.
@arumsamp (37)
• India
17 May 07
Trust on others is basic for human life. We will be trusting many in our daily lifes. so in my opinion, trust is just like breathing in life. But the thing is who should you trust. The person you trust should be trustworthy, meaning, a person whom you know is loyal and can be trusted. blind trust will not help.
• United States
17 May 07
I use to be much more trusting of others then I am now..I always look behind my back to make sure no one is trying to stick me..you know what I mean? I've been let down so many times that it is hard..but there are a few people that I totally trust because they have never given me a reason to doubt them
• United States
14 May 07
I've been burned so many times in my short life that I find it very difficult to trust. And, when I do trust and let my guard down, I end up getting burned again. I don't know why this continues to happen to me and I tend to wonder if it's holding me back in my career, family efforts and relationships with friends. Do I trust enough to push forward with my career? Do I trust enough to speak my mind openly to my family? Do I trust enough to stop letting friends walk all over me. I'm afraid the answers to these questions, as of today, are no.
@villageanne (8554)
• United States
13 May 07
I too find it easy to trust others. Sometimes I get taken advantage of as a result of my trusting nature but I try really hard to not let those people who take advantage of me to ruin the trust that I have for others. Once in awhile, I will meet someone and immediately get the feeling that I sould not trust them. This feeling does not come often but when it does, I trust the feeling.
@niang03 (147)
• China
8 May 07
It's not easy to trust others, especially for person whom i've just known a couple of months..i need long time till i can put my trust to others..i had bad experience before and don't wanna do it again.I do,taking risks sometimes to trust others whom i not know very well..i don't form my opinions from the start..sometimes person who know us well could misuse our trust..so,i just give then chance to prove that they are worth to be trust..Let the time and deeds speak and prove which person can be trust..
24 Apr 07
How to explain this... It depends on the vibe I get from people, I've learnt that when I'm wary inside it's normally right. I can easily trust anyone. (depends what) But once lost I'm not one to "re-trust" it's lost the first time around. So normally I will, doesn't mean I won't forgive mistakes either but I can't believe a known liar. ~Joey
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
24 Apr 07
Hello,sigma, I found myself tend not to trust guys, may be it is because of my bad experience, i was cheated by my ex-boyfriend before,that is why i will be very careful in trusting someone.I think it is not good and i should change it or i will be single forever. I have no problems in trusting ladies, may be I did not have any bad experience of being cheated by ladies.
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
23 Apr 07
It is not easy to trust in people,but you have two option: 1)to not trust and you will never be hurt...but you will never be happy and you will not be able to see th e light... 2)to trust in person you love ans to give to others a little confidence to see what happened...you will be the most happy person from the world...trust me... No doubt is not easy to trust,but you will live for nothing keeping people at distance... augusta
• Canada
17 Apr 07
I also tend to trust others by default based on the principle that people are good in essence and the bad are only exceptions. Also, I don't think that life is so pleasant for people who do not trust others. It must not be much fun to keep worrying about being betrayed.