HEY! I'm a Teenage Mom!! Anyone Wanna Comment?

@MsJessi (423)
United States
April 9, 2007 3:42pm CST
lol, sorry, I've just got reading several posts about teenage pregnancies and how much people despise the fact that this happens. So I figured I'd give you a teenage mom to yell at, since so many feel the need to do so. I'm not angry, I'm not bitter, and I do NOT blame anyone else for my actions. On the contrary, I took full responsibility and raised my first son from the day he was born, a month after my 16th birthday without his father, because HE decided having a child wasn't good for him at the time. I always hear about teenage mom's and how horrible it is that they allowed themselves to get pregnant, but i suppose it's alright for the guy that helped her get that way to decide he's not ready and jump ship. lol. But you know what? It's ok. 9 times out of ten, if the father bails, it's probably for the best, which in my case, it was. My son is so much better off without that man popping in and out of life. He has me and he has a wonderful step-dad who loves him very much and is always here for him, and he also has 4 brothers/sisters that love him too. I'm 25 now, and even though I'm still young, I do not regret having my children. No matter how young I was. Sure, I missed out on a lot of teenage things, never went to prom, (well, MY prom anyway), but it's ok. God has a plan, and if me having a child at a young age, was what needed to happen to get me out of my alcoholic and abusive mother's house, then so be it. It made me a better person and I am forever grateful for it. (I'm not condoning teenage pregnancy, I'm just saying that maybe folks should know the person and their story before labeling them) Thanks for reading!
21 people like this
73 responses
• United States
9 Apr 07
YOur Brave for opening yourself up to people who will never understand. But raising your son and a few more you have to be brave. I was one of them parents that knew my kids would never let this happen to them selfs. Well sometimes just happen. When my daughter at almost 16 told us she was preagnet I had no words. I wasn't upset ok a little. I wasn't sad ok a little. I wasn't happy no really I wasn't. My daughter asked me what I was thinking after she told us and I said I had different dreams for you. She said yea me too but I am not letting go of them dreams. Let me tell you she is now 22 with a 6 year old daughter and a two year old son and I would not trade them in for anything. The best part is she did have a man that stayed by her side and is still their. I am very proud of them he is a master mech. and she is in her third year of college for a bss in Criminal justice studies. I sad part is you didn't have that support. But it sounds like you do now. It sounds like you have a wonderful man that accepts you and your children alike. Great job and keep up the good work. And by the way ignore what ever crap you might here.
5 people like this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Ahh, I'm not scared. It's great that you can admit that even though you were upset at first, that you have accepted the situation for what it is. And its wonderful to hear that your daughter still managed/is managing to follow her dreams. It's always important to have support in your life and I believe you were a great deal of that support. Even though my parents weren't supportive, I did have some support throughout the journey and of course I still do. Whether it be friends or people I met along the way...I'd have to say it took a lot of people to get to where I am today. Good and bad, and I'm grateful for every one of them.
3 people like this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
9 Apr 07
and besides, no one can say anything that I haven't already heard and swallowed...so yea, I can take it. lol. Thank you!
3 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18121)
• United States
9 Apr 07
My niece had a baby 2 years ago at the age of 13 a week before her 14th birthday. Her man bailed out because she was having a girl and the other girl he got pregnant also was havng a boy so he wanted a boy so he left. Good choice for him because he was controlling. But he left a few months before the birth of the baby and it was really hard on her she is still dealing with the emotional issues almost 2 years later. She had to deal with alot of problems like depression. I got married at 16 and people look down on that I wasn't pregnant pr anything it was something I just wanted to do. So I don't look down on people who have children or get married early because as you said god has a plan. And all that counts is to have a loving healthy relationship with your child and to never blame a child for being conceived, Which I know some people who have blamed getting pregnant of messing up their lives. And I wouldn't change having a great niece for all the money in the world she has brought great joy to all the people who knows her and she is so loving she is one of gods little angels and I hope she is never regreted.
4 people like this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I feel for your niece, but I know that with you in her life she will overcome this. That child is lucky to have a woman in her life who knows that life happens and you just have to be grateful for every bit of it, because no matter how hard the situation may seem, it's for a reason.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Apr 07
Good for u!!! I also had my child at 16, I'm 20 now with another wonderful child. The father didn't want to rise a child so he left me. At first I was heart broken, but got over it. Now he has 2 other children with 2 different women. I'm still with my fiance, who has been in my and my daughters life for 3 years. i have never been happier
4 people like this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Congratulations to you! How liberating is it when a woman can say, YES, I got pregnant young, and YES, the father ditched us, and YES I AM HAPPY! Unfortunately, this can't be so for other teenage mom's out there in this world and that's a shame. But for the ones that make it through, they are a stong voice and to me it shows that there is still hope in this world.
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
9 Apr 07
You should be so proud of yourself. You had to grow up quickly to raise your son. I commend you for doing the right thing with your child. It sounds like you have made a wonderful life for yourself and your child. Now a days you hear more about the teenage moms who bail on their kids and leave the responsibility to thier parents. You have been a strong roll model for your son. God Bless.
4 people like this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Thank you...I believe you actually drew tears out me. lol. It's hard being a parent, at any age...but for a teenage mom, they have to accept many things that come with being a mom, a little more so than adults. Thanks!
3 people like this
@harwoodkp (285)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Once it happens the condemming needs to stop. There is a mother that has a lot to learn on how to take care of a child and a child that needs to be taken care of. By critizing you are taking away the oppportunity to help a new mother learn how to be a mother. I dont condone what happened to you. I just wanted to say bravo to you for the wise decisions you made after the fact. It looks like your child has a loving stable family that will help him to grow up to be a great young man.
4 people like this
@Michele21 (3095)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I had my daughter when I was 19 and got alot of negative reactions as well. She wasn't planned but she definitely was a blessing to me =) He dad was a loser also and hasn't seen her in along time, but I am re-married to a great guy that is her true Daddy!! I think it is sad when a girl gets pregnant at such a young age, but we all make choices and don't need to get onto people that probably have enough troubles already. Good for you for raising your little boy and being strong for him!!
4 people like this
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
I guess there's nothing wrong with being a teenage mom as long as you know your responsibility to your child. I congratulate you for standing strong for your child and most of all I applaud you for ditching the irresponsible father and yes you're right it was better that he left coz you know what, only a FEW MEN mature easily as us WOMEN do. Well maybe not all guys, but it's a fact that RESPONSIBILITY sinks in harder to men than for us women. When we become parents, women can't think of anything else but the welfare of her children no matter at what age. What I hate are teenage moms who act as irresponsibly as the father leaving the child the brunt of all that they've done to bring that child in this world without him/her wanting it. Well, MsJessi I actually envy you for being a young mom coz you can relate more to your kids, whereas mothers like me who got married during my late 20's is kinda really late. I'm 30 now, and my sons are ages 3 and 1 and I feel soooo old. lol
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Ah, age ain't nuthin but a number! lol. You're only as young as you feel! I know those are cliche phrases, but they're true. Bein in tune with your child can happen at any age...it's all in what you're willing to do. There's nothing wrong with being an older mom either. Older is wiser and more experienced. Take care.
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Yes, I too was a teenage mother. I got pregnant my senior year. People did judge me, but I still finished school even with all the criticism. I was 17 when I got pregnant, 18 when I had him. I never regretted him from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I told myself I was going to be a good mother to my children and I have been the best I can be to this day. Being a mother may be difficult if you are young, but if you are determined to let the experience grow you up, then the baby will have a great environment, no matter if you were 16. Good job.
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Well, Cheers to you, my fellow obstacle hurder! Life sure knows how to throw em, it's up to us to learn how to leap high enough to dodge them.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Apr 07
Historically, women got pregnant (and married) as soon as they were of childbearing age. It's only society that has to label things as moral or immoral. I comment you for being able to 1. open yourself up to people "yelling" at you and 2. being able to provide for yourself and your children at such a young age. I had 2 friends in high school that graduated after having a baby and they both kept and raised their babies and are really great women. I think people need to stay out of other people's business unless they are truely trying to help. There are plenty of women having babies much older than you are now and can't deal with it, we should be celebrating those that can and do handle the responsiblity of children!
3 people like this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Yes, I've often thought about that. About history and how things used to be. Then again, there are ALOT of things that used to happen back in the day that isn't permitted now...makes you wonder if all the changes are good ones.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Apr 07
bravo to you for speaking your mind!! i too was a teenage mom..and my son has grown to make me proud..as long as you live for yourself and your children you cannot go wrong..everyone will have an opinion thats true but thats just it their opinion, the will not be there when your child needs or cries you will be so for all the negative opinions i say hear them out and carry on.. sounds like your life is good and turned out for the better!! do your thing young lady...and dont look back..look forward to all the things your children will bring to your life..im not condoning teenaged pregnancy either but i do know where your comming from!
3 people like this
@mamacat (22)
• United States
10 Apr 07
People tend to only focus on the bad, just because someone reads/hears a story about a deadbeat teenage mom dosen't mean that all teenage moms are in the same catagory, you just don't hear the positive stories because no one wants to talk about a boring normal mom. I had my oldest when I was 16 got married to his dad when I ws 17 and we're still together 7 years later. You said folks should know a person and their story before labeling them- I couldn't agree with you more
3 people like this
@katzbee (91)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
Well MsJessi, you are a very strong and determined Lady. Keep up the good work. None of us should judge a teenage mother, without first walking a mile in her shoes. Neither should she be held to blame. We always seem to forget that their was a male involved. Whether that male is 16 or 61 and more times than not, he never kept the promises he made before the act. Once again Thanks For Being You. You Are An Inspiration To Many A Young Mother.
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
I have to say....You are amoung the few who truly cares and takes care of thier kids and responsibilities. You should be very proud of yourself....and your accomplishments. I wish you much luck in the future and I hope this relationship is better than your previous one. I went through that with my babies father too...and now have not heard from him in many years...and I hope I never do...my son is better off...
@Kylalynn (1773)
• South Africa
9 Apr 07
Well I won't yell at you because I am not in a position to yell at you as I was a teenage mom myself. It's got some really good advantages. You are still young enough to play games with your children. Youre still young enough to have fun at a park. When they are a little older you will understand whats going on in their heads, because you can still remember from yourself. I found all of these things. Oh, there is a lot of responsibility that goes with rearing babies and children, but that is part of the territory. I wouldent give two hoots if someone does yell at you. NO.1 It is none of there business NO2 You are not asking them for any donations NO3 They don't know you from a bar of soap. My suggestion would be 'be the best parent you can' if you need advice on something ask your mom or another relative you can trust. And always go with your instinct. Best of luck!
• United States
9 Apr 07
i think this was an awesome topic to start People judge others so quickly without really thinking about it. It is awesome to hear another persons side of the story and I think you need to be proud of yourself! You took responsiblilty and gave up a lot but you have a wonderful son out of the situation.
3 people like this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I had oldest daughter when I was 16. She is 14 now and I have posted a discussion about teen pregnancy. It just shocks me that there are girls in the 8th grade now that are getting pregnant. I don't want my daughter to have to go through the struggles I went through. I think one of the biggest problems is that there are a lot of these girls that get preg. thinking that its cool and end up not taking care of their kids, don't get an education, and sit on welfare. That is what I think is making it so bad from a lot of peoples perspective. After my daughter was born I worked to take care of her and finished high school. Her father came around when she was 9 months old and left again. He has never wanted to be a part of her life, and she is fine with it. She understands all of these things. She has said that she is going to wait till she is married to have a better chance of her kids having both parents and I hope she sticks with that decision.
@KrisNY (7593)
• United States
9 Apr 07
First off congrats on being a mom- Thats great-- I don't yell at anyone online. People make choices and then have to live with those choices.. I think its wonderful that you sound to be a great mom. I agree-- people need to get the facts before generalizing everyone- Teenagers that have babies.. I would guess though that more often than not-- the teenage mom isn't as good as you sound- or as happy. I'm glad that it worked out for you. I got pregnant at 24-- not planned.. I didn't know what I was going to do at that age-- I love my kiddo dearly- she is 10.. I wouldn't change my life for the world-- Anyways congrats again on being a great mom!
@healer (1783)
• India
9 Apr 07
You are a very dtrong person i should say, and women like you will be hard to find. I am also a women of 24 and still not married and scared to have a baby of my own even though am old enough, and regarding your case you are showing a great example how strong a person should be. You took a big responsibility when you were still very young and wow! its so amazing to see you happy with what you did. Good luck to you in your life.
3 people like this
@judyt00 (3504)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
I ws a single teenaged mother, and my youngest is as well. I think I did really well with my kids, and I know my daughter is doing a great job. She took all the pre natal courses and even some after birth parenting classes, and she was at the top of her class in all of them, Sadly, of the 25 odd girls she took the pre natal parenting class they made her take in the small town we lived in, only 4 have their children now. Mind you, only those 4 have strong parental support. I think that how the mother raises her baby, or in fact if she manages to keep the baby at all is totally dependent on how her parents raised her and how they support her while she is raising the child. it also somewhat dependent on the lifestyle of the girl after the baby is born. By the way, we, my daughter andI moved 3000 miles across country to get away from her baby's father because we found out he was physically abusive to his nephew and we didn't want to take the chance that he would hurt MY grandchild
2 people like this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Well, I agree with almost everything you said, except the parents' parents thing. My parents suck. Point Blank. But I learn from the mistakes my mother made. And I know how NOT to be. On the other hand, instead of my parents, I had other people in my life that helped me along the way...so in that form of "parenting" I guess it's true.
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
yeah, I agree also...it depends on the person itself on how she handle the situation. Never judge a person for who she is without knowing her a lot. I do believe in the saying, "Everything happens with its purpose". So, if teenagers got pregnant at early age, it's their fate and only God knows what's her responsibility to tackle and purpose to one's life. Be thankful for you've blessed a child,regardless of your age. For everybody's information,that,many women now a days cannot bear a child and many couples also suffered 'coz they could not have even one.
2 people like this