Writing

Tweet

To anyone concerned, I'm sorry I haven't wrote more lately. There has been a lot going on and for some odd reason when there is more going on, I write a lot less. I think it is because I fear that I will become emotionally undone if I talk about everything that is going on and I fear that my heart just can't handle writing about it sometimes. Does anyone know what I mean ? I had to force myself to sit down and write right now, and I'm happy that I did. Ever since I was little I watched people be good at things. There were gymnasts, singers, dancers, cheerleaders, tennis players, soccer players, artists.... what was I good at ? I wanted to have a gift too. The truth is I've never felt like I was worth too much. I could always sing, but that as I've gotten older, I realized that that is just something that is fun to me. I paint too; but that too is just a hobby. I think writing is something I can never let go of. It is so close to my heart that at times it's painful. I know I'm good at it, because I'm deep and I have a powerful voice when I write, but at the same time, I don't know how to make a career out of it. I'm home now because I'm unemployed (can I count mylot as a job ?) and my boyfriend is at work so I figure there's no reason to let a perfectly nice day pass you by without doing something that makes you happy. I'm whole when I write. I don't know why I don't do it more often. I'm going to try to do it more. I understand what it's like to struggle to try to find something that you love to do an di know how hard happiness is to come by when everything around you seems to be falling apart every which way. A few weeks ago I was a little jealous of my cousin because he got into law school and he was going to be successful and I was not. Now I'm thinking, "Why be jealous ?" I would not be successful as a lawyer because that is not where my heart is. I guess the point of this discussion is, happiness is such a virtue to atribute. Everyone needs to do something they love. If you don't know what that is, think back when you were younger and think about what you enjoyed doing. There's always something. You just have to find it. Trust me I know, because I did.