Have you ever been struck so hard by grief that you felt it in your bones?
April 14, 2007 8:02pm CST
I just received an email from my mother, in which she told me that she no longer wants to live. My mother has suffered from Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS) for more than five years, she is wheelchair bound, she cannot breathe on her own, and the only thing that is not paralyzed is her eyes, and they have even begun give her trouble. I just left her two months ago, after having split up my family for the last two years, so that I could take care of her. Two months ago I moved back to the U.S. to keep my family together, and although, I knew that I one day would receive an email like this, I am still completely heart broken. My body ache all over, I cry and cry and cry, and then I get my act together and give my son a bottle or change his diaper. Have you ever felt like this? How long did it take before the feeling passed?
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5 May 07
Hi Smartmom, First of all I would like to apologise that I never saw this discussion sooner. I would not pass by this and not respond. I am sorry that you did not receive more response. Sometimes just knowing that some one cares helps. Your mother sounds like she must be very very ill. Her condition is something I am not familiar with but I am sure it certainly takes its toll on all of you. I imagine it must be very hard having a mother who is so ill and so depressed as she means to world to you. Try not to be hard on yourself. I know that you feel you need someone or something to blame but you shouldn't put youself through that. I know that I haven't been much help but it is just to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your family and I hope that things start to go a bit better for you all in the future and I hope that your mother becomes happier in herself.
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