Recovering from Separation Anxiety

This is natural, sometimes it's hard to be a twoxome and then just when the brain ststys to do everything in pairs it has to refocus and start thinking in a single process again. It takes time, to some longer than others. If you work on getting your social life back on track but your heart isn't on board with that it will cause you to become anxious and over worried that things aren't moving as fast as you want them to go. I know someone who wants to date but she's not ready her emotions are still day dreaming about the ex BF, she wanted him but had too many difficulties in life to work on and wasn't ready for a deeper relationship, so in her mind she wants to wait even though her body says lets move on. So some individaul will stay on this level giving hope to their emotions or they let their emotions stay fixed in what ifs, and so on. We cling to things that brought us happiness, these represent comfort zones to us and sometimes we aren't too willing to let them slide away. Change the process of how you think, there were causes for lead to this ending. There are times no matter what a person does the ending will still come to that matter. You can't beat yourself up over it, relationships are in a sense, what I call, let's see what happens if different things (or flavors) are introduced into the relationship. Changes are going to take place and how two people fare will be the linch pin that will prove it strong or will break it.

It might be a good idea to get counseling. As for comparing possible mates with your ex, why compare? You don't need to look for a mate to have a social life.

Try going out with friends, just to hang out, or joining groups.

Example, I live in NJ my partner and I play poker in a league, and pool, with the APA, there are also dart leagues, bowling leagues, just checking out what is local in your area could be a start to either getting out with friends or forming new friendships.

As for the poker league LOL I have no hopes of gaining high points. There are in fact a number of newly divorced men in the league who will go nearly every night, rather than sit home alone.

Some have formed a nice little group of friends who now hang out for more things, and one or two have begun dating from all the extra socializing.

While none were looking for woman when they started coming to the poker nights, they were looking just to get out rather than mope around the house.

Same for those who are in some of the other leagues.

As you start going out with friends and or making new friends by joining such groups, and start acting pleasant and happy, like you are enjoying yourself, you may come to find that you really are enjoying yourself.

Such things are not desperate, or juvenile. Just people hanging out and sharing a few laughs.

for an idea of what I am talking about check out something on the APA pool league. Or while this wouldn't help if you are not from NJ it can help give you the idea www.holdempokerleague.com

Go to the local bar find out if they have a dart, pool, poker league, or if they sponser softball team, it is spring, if that is your interest. Or check out your local bowling alley find out when they have their season, and when and if you can sign up.

I know your situation all to well, I have been in a similar situation and it is never easy. I remember when it was weird to sleep in a bed by myself. It took a while to get over it. One book you would probably never think would help but it helped me is "Who moved my cheese", It has been over two years and I am still trying to get use to it, it is a transition thing. The dating world has surely changed since I last remember.lol. But the book really helped realize that sometimes we get so caught up, that we lose sight of the big picture, we forget about looking forward, not back. We worry about everyone else thinking that it is too selfish to give ourselves a thought. And honestly it is not true. Don't allow a failed situation to determine your future. Honestly at one point I thought that I would stay single for the rest of my life because it was "safer". But I realized I would only be hurting myself. Good luck! It gets better, especially when you figure out who moved your cheese.lol Take care:)