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myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships 5 years ago

I received this in my mailbox this morning, I don't usually copy and paste long and tearful stories but this has such a powerful and precious "lesson" I could not resist. Enjoy

"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping.

I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer. She had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't
love her anymore..I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said, for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.

To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out made
me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.

I then held her in my arms,walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,

I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart."

Author unknown

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Do have a real happy marriage!




Related Resource:
wedding flowers

 

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AnoChaudhary (984) response was accepted on 4/28/2007.
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tags:  marriage, love, divorce, life, children
 
1. myLot reputation of 94/100. rb200406 (1700)   ranked 1,349 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

The story is really very sweet & eye-opener.Really in marriage after a certain point, we tend to take everything for granted.We stop saying those lovely words,little things which makes the marriage happy.After a certain point marriage becomes boring & we tend to think that love is lost.Actually we become so much busy in gathering outside things that the inner thing gets lost.Nice story.I will try to keep that intimacy intact im my marriage.Thanks


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

So true so very true, I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and feel free to share it with whom ever you want. Thank you for your time and response

Attorney Charles M Green Divorce, Family Law Specialist. Upscale Clients in LA County.  greenlawcorp.com
 
2. myLot reputation of 73/100. suneelpednekar (306)   5 years ago

ya you are right sharing small things giving time to each other will always help to keep you together love will be your life....


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

The small things in life that we tend to, so easily miss or neglect, becomes huge problems and heartaches in our life's later on, so better we nurture them. Thank you for your time. xx

Ask a Lawyer: Divorce Law 12 Divorce Lawyers Are Online! Ask a Question, Get an Answer ASAP.  Law.JustAnswer.com
 
3. myLot reputation of 89/100. msjigga (708)   ranked 1,667 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

this is so inspiring i will share this. thanks


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

Oh good, I'm glad you found this inspiring. Thank you for reading such a long post, and for your response, much obliged

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4. myLot reputation of 66/100. minty3 (494)   ranked 3,924 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

Oh dear, this is simply fantastic. I'm not married but i enjoyed reading this piece and i know i'll surely pass it on. thanks for sharing it.


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

It is a wonderful story and a real tearjerker, almost like "Gone with the wind" and just as long! Thank you for responding to such a lengthy discussion:)

Empowering Relationships Since 1991,Life Coach/Therapist/ Minister,Complimentary Session  www.mylifecoach.us
 
5. myLot reputation of 99/100. wondericequeen (4427)   ranked 107 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

A very nice story! I really enjoyed it so much. Yes we do take things for granted and I believe it's in human nature. If we don't do thing to keep the love flame going, it will soon die out. I think it's so sweet that finally the guy discovered what's the problem in their marriage before it's too late.


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

I think she was quite clever don't you, and that is when something finally hit home with the husband. Thank you for reading, and responding. xx

Start Your Divorce Today We make your divorce easy, as featured on CBS and FOX news.  www.ReliableDivorce.com
 
6. myLot reputation of 92/100. honeyangel (1440)   ranked 1,255 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

thats a sweet story
thanx for sharing it


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

It is the sweetest story for me so far, so glad I could share it with you guys, and that you enjoyed it, honey. xx

How To Get His Love 9 Magic Words You Must Say To Make Him Fall Deeply In Love.  HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com
 
7. myLot reputation of 87/100. patricia24 (538)   ranked 1,245 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

Its very touching story, hope it will help many people and married couples. Its such an inspiring story that many husband will not realize at all in their marriage. I hope someday it will help me when im in the same situation, (hope it will not happen).


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

Thank you sweetie, for taking the time to read such a long discussion, I'm glad you got something out of it. Much obliged

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8. myLot reputation of 95/100. galatea (334)   ranked 276 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

I wish my parent's read this before everything came apart. Thanks for sharing, it brought tears to my eyes.
I believe that it's not only love that keeps a relationship intact for forever. There has to be dedication, respect, and compromise, among many other things. We have to learn to fall in love with the minutest details of our partners. We have to learn to accept each other's ugliest and darkest secrets for us to survive any storm.
I hope, when my time comes to marry, that I will remember all of this.


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

I know you will remember it, I am sure it is written in your heart, why don't you make a copy, print it and give it to your parents. Thank you for taking the time to respond, take care. xx

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9. myLot reputation of 91/100. mansha (4849)   ranked 88 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

so beautiful yet hard truth, we fail to connect so often with people who live with us on dailyu basis and we chase so many other dreams and just loose ourselves on the way. I still feel reality would have been different, hubby would have plainly refused to carry his wife out or girlfriend would not have allowed that at all still its a beautiful piece. I wish all marriages could have such thoughtful partners.


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

Yup on the "lite" side of life, my hubby would have sent me to the warm place indeed, but nevertheless, he will get a copy of this in his email that is for sure. Thanks for reading such a loooong post. I thought everybody was going to think I went cookoo:)

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10. myLot reputation of 91/100. dellion (5585)   ranked 4,191 out of 19,197 in relationships   5 years ago

That's truly a touching story! I think it did telling some of the very important and life true story.The same story keep on happening everyday everywhere in our entire life just that how many sad marriage can be finally have this type of happy ending??The wife in story know the real meanings of loves to family,her kid and her husband and thus she keep all the sadness and bitterness for herself and the husband just need time to realized the true meanings of loves and luckily is not too late to wake up:)Nice sharing!!


myLot reputation of 98/100. Anniedup (1708)   ranked 63 out of 19,197 in relationships  5 years ago

Hello my good friend, yes she is a very thoughtful, and unselfish women, and putting her family first, I'm so glad you could find the time to respond to this very long discussion, thanks my friend, much appreciated, but you know that. Take care. xx

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