Bachelor party and married  

Ok that sounds reasonable but what if the stripper was an ex??

Nope, I still wouldn't worry. If my husband wanted to be with any of his ex's, he would still be with them and wouldn't have married me. My husband and I are soul-mates,and perhaps we are lucky in that both of us feel the same way about the importance of fidelity. :-)

Thats good that you have that trust but in my oponion he is still a man. Believe me I know trust more than most people my husband is deployed and there aren't no innocent women in the army neither.

Add a whole lot of booze and you never know what any man is going to do!

Yeah I trust my husband so much I have to he's deployed but I won't do anything to even put our marriage in trouble and I do take precautions for it. We have children and if they cheat that is it the realtionship could dramtically change.

"Add a whole lot of booze"

And you wouldn't know what you'd do either.

It's also up to the individual not to let it get that far with alcohol.

Yeah I was pretty gone when we went to the strip club appearantly it was my idea and I don't remember. That was the last time I drank too.

I agree with you on this. My husband's bf from when he was growing up had a bachelor party and his wife don't even know they went to the strip club. I couldn't believe they would keep somehting like this from each other.

If he wants to go, fine. He can go. But he better not lie about it. I don't care if he goes, I just want to know the truth.

My husband isn't a pig first of all he is very respectful to me and treats me very well. However I have been to strip clubs and I have friends that have worked at them and I know what really goes on in the clubs much less a bachelor party. Just like my husband wouldn't like it if some guy was putting his you know what in my face so why the double standard.

I'm not sure what you're thinking by "really goes on" that makes you find it so reprehensible. Strippers are performers, nothing more. And they're hands don't go on you unless you pay them to aka lapdance, so I fail to see where the issue lies. Simply going to a strip club doesn't make him a target for anything but a potential propostion, which if he is a real mean he will decline.

Same goes for male stripping, I don't really see the issue with that either. I don't see a double standard being imposed unless it's your husband doing the imposing. He wants to go to strip clubs, but wouldn't let you do the same? If you both want to go to one, why not? If neither of you would be interested, then great. If one is and the other isn't, I don't see the problem with that, either. My fiance isn't much of a nightlife person, but I would like to go to Chippendale's sometime. He's not going to prohibit me from being interested in something that he is not, though.

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I've been to more than one strip club with more than one boyfriend in my life.

I have never witnessed the acts you are talking about at any of them.

You can pay for a lapdance, but there's a bouncer standing next to you and if you touch the girl, you get thrown out.

not necessarily. If the stripper allows touching then it can go as far as they want.

Not in plain sight. There are strict rules and sometimes laws about that. If one stripper were to allow it, but another did not, and a man saw one stripper being touched inappropriately in the main room, then he would get the wrong idea, which could lead to molestation charges. It's a liability to the club. Many strippers are also hookers, however. But it is all hush-hush and entirely under the table.

I know exactly my point. Like I said my friends that work in the clubs tell me things all the time that happen. Just because they don't come out directly or standing on a corner doing it still means they are a hooker.

Just becuase they happen doesn't mean they are going to happen to you or your husband. Trust means trusting him not to accept an offer like that. If you feel the need to prohibit him from even being in a situation where it *might* come up means you don't rally trust him.

I do trust my husband he is over seas right now with over 3000 girls that are hookers and sleep with whoever will give them a chance. My husband has already been there for like 7 months and I know he wouldn't cheat on me because he loves me and his family and wouldn't do anything to put our family in jeporady.

Not only that my husband is the type if he can't take me by his side and our kids he usually don't even want to go. His friends ask him all the time to go out with him and to the bars and strip clubs and he tells them no because he would rather be home with his family.

Also my husband has gone to bachelor parites since we have been together and to a strip club since we have been together and he told me everything that had happened. He had fun and he told me that he just wished that I could have gone too.

That's great for you. I wasn't aware we were talking about you personally. If he never wants to go anyway, then what's the issue?

Again like I had said before I just wanted to see how many actually would let their husband go to a bachelor party with a stripper and how many wouldn't. I never said it was something personally.

You trust your husband while he's 3000 miles away in the sandbox, yet a strip club is taboo?

Then why are you defending yourself and your husband personally if you never intended it to be about you personally? Doesn't make any sense to me.

clam: My thoughts exactly

I never said I didn't trust him in a strip club I said I wouldn't want him to go to a bachelor party with a stripper because there is more than stripping that happens a lot of times. Like I said before he has gone to the strip club and to bachelor parties since we have been together and he told me everything that had happened.

Private party/strip club, same difference. You're just being pedantic. And if he's so trustworthy and tells you everything, then why wouldn't you want him going? Just because other people are doing things means he can't even be in the same room? What logic is in that?

Because it is how I feel and I don't want him at those things. My dad never went to them and neither did my father in law. So maybe that is why I don't see the point why so many guys would want to.

Um, maybe because the world happens to be made up of billions of different people with billions of different personalities and just many different variations od interests and likes. Just becuase you never saw your father go to a strip club doesn't mean he never did, never wanted to, or that no man ever should or would.

No I know my dad didn't. We are a very close family and he was always home with us taking care of us and doing things with us.

You didn't know him before you were born, you know. There could be any number of things he enjoyed before he settled. Many people give up several adult indulgences when they start having kids.

My parents have been together since he was like 16 and went out for 5 years then got married and are still married today. My mom for one would not allow it in any way and as hard as it is for you to believe that some men really don't like them it's true. My husband don't go to them and lots of my family and his family don't neither.

I never said it was "hard" for me to believe anything. If anything, it seems pretty near impossible for you to understand that people simply have different tastes. For all I know you come from a family of prudes.

I was never speaking to you personally, you seemed to feel the need to take it and make it personal. You say you made the thread out of curiousity, yet you keep injecting your personal life and opinions into what seem to be rebuttles against the opinions of anyone who doesn't agree with you.

I have never said that your opinion was wrong I said I disagree because I don't feel a married man belongs at things like this. You said that I probably don't know what my dad was like before and I do. It is just a shame that you can not accept the fact that some guys really don't care to go to places like a bachelor party with a stripper or to a strip club.

Not only that my family does not come from a family of prudes just because they don't care to go to a public place to get off on other girls and come home to their wives does not make them prudes. It shows how much respect and love they have for their wives including my husband. I will not comment anymore on this because you have brought my family into this and you had no right trying to put my family down. I guess that is why you would let your husband cheat because you would allow things that are supposed to only be intimate with your husband happen with other women. Me on the other hand will not.

I'm sorry, hun, but you're a moron. Watching a stripper or hanging out with guy friends is not the same as infidelity and that is where you have a problem. And as I have said several times, I never said a word about your family until you made it about your family. The "Well MY husband would NEVER.." sh!t makes you sounds like a stuck up prude who is most commonly the type to *get* cheated on. Not women like me who actually have an open and *trusting* relationship where both of us can go and do whatever we want without the other being paranoid about whether or not we might screw someone we see.

I just realized how old you were now it all makes sense I used to think the same way when I was your age until I grew up and seen how so many men do thier girls wrong. Hopefully you will understand as you get older. You may change your outlook when he starts coming home to make love after he got turned on by someone else.

I am sure you will learn in time. But until then you may not know what exactly could happen. I have seen things happen once someone starts doing the club thing and I see it all the time with cheating it is a common thing in the military life so hopefully you will soon realize it.

Edit: Wait a minute, you're only 24?! What the hell? You're barely 4 years older than me. Get over yourself.

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Aside from which, I doubt if strip clubs existed in the times when your grandfather and father would be going.

First of all they did exist and secondly if you seen my post before you would have seen that I did this post to get some views. I am speaking my ways and views through how I live my life and my husband going to a strip club or bachelor party with a stripper there is not a place to be when you are married. Regardless what you say I have had married men hit on me and then go home to their wife and their wives never know. I will not be one of these women. My husband has never and will never cheat on me because we have a great relationship but what the stripper is doing is only something for me and my husband because that is our intimate time and we are allowed to do it anytime because we are married.

Oh, so you stip for your husband? You know how to put on a show for the sole purpose of entertaining him and his friends? If not, then I hardly see how she is stealing your intimate moments with your husband. Unless you really are that paranoid that he will cheat on you when he goes.

I have dated married men. It's up to the man to show self control.

You never did answer my question, and if you did, I missed it: Would your husband let you go to a male strip club where men dance instead of women? Would he be as apprehensive as you are?

I honestly don't think my husband would be comfortable with me going to a strip club with men stripping. The subject has never came up because I don't want to go. Why would I want to go when I have the best thing at home that I can anytime I want no matter what.

I agree. I trust my husband and I love him more than anything and we both agree that marriage is a committment and it is forever but I won't let temtation in any way ruin our family I am here to protect our family we have kids.

But would he trust you enough to go to a strip club where there are male dancers?

Temptaion only exists when there is a void that needs to be filled. Whether it's realized or not. No truly healthy and happy relationship would have room for temptaion or infidelity, unless the partner has some kind of mental disorder like nymphomania or something.

My husband wouldn't cheat I know that and I agree why can't I come me and my husband have gone to strip clubs together so I don't see the big deal of going together and it was actually fun for the both of us. My husband and his friends even bought me a lap dance.

*LOL* Yes, I think going to the strippers is fun, as well.

I don't think men generally mind women coming out to the strippers socially, but bachelor parties are a little touchier since it's the groom's last night as a single man and no man really wants to have a woman around when he's trying to let loose as much as he is on that special night.

Yeah I guess you're right but still. I am just glad that my husband always wants me by his side and if we can't take the kids he usually don't even want to be part of it. I have a really great family man husband.

That's fine and dandy, but don't you feel a need to give him his space? Let him go out once and a while by himself, even if it's only to the gym?

I'd be real tired real quick if all my boyfriend wanted to do is hang off of me.

Well we don't really get much time together because he is deployed. But when he is home he does have his nights and days that he goes and does his thing with his friends but it is usually playing poker or going to eat hot wings and watching the game at a sports bar. When he isn't working I am and he is watching the kids so when we do have free time it is usually spent with each other.

I want to go out to the Bunny Ranch with my husband someday. Sounds like it would be fun lol.

I wouldn't mind going to a nudist beach. I would find it so liberating.

That's going a bit far for me. I hate being nude.

Yeah I think that is very reasonalbe as well. My husband has gone to strip bachelor parties at a strip club and at a bar before but not ever at hotel room or someone's house neither. The question has never came up but if he did get invited he probably wouldn't want to go. He always wants me there with him just because we only get about 9 months together then he is gone for at least a year with the army.

What would be the difference between a bar or a hotel? Bars have bathrooms and back doors. It's just as easy for what you think will happen to happen at a bar rather than a strip club or a hotel.

I do trust my husband very much so but again there is a difference private residence or hotel rooms anything can happen yes there are restrictions in bars and strip clubs but you are right anything could happen at either. I guess I am just glad that my husband don't even care for things like this he didn't even have a bachelor party neither.

That's good that you trust your husband that way. My husband has gone to bachelor parties where strippers were there and didn't bother me but now that we are a family he don't even care to go at all. He said if I can't go then he don't want to.

The majority of them are just strippers but I have friends that are strippers and tell me so many stories of things that happen behind closed doors if you know what I mean to so many guys and the wives and girlfriends never find out.

That is the only thing you can do is give him trust and hope. I trust my husband too. The thought of some girl dancing her boobies in his face just irritates me and he don't care for it any way.