if its so damn easy to make meth,then why cant I find out how its done

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i can't find any sites or realiable info on how crystal meth is made.Everything I can find is either incomplete,or complete bullshit.Spare me the lectures on what meth dose to me,recovery options,blah,blah,blah.I want to make it for my own use, and no one else.I cant function without it.Detox and NA and doctors DID NOT WORK FOR ME.I just need one honest person to give a brother a chance, and give me simple,honest,easy to follow instructions on how it is produced the right way.Clean, pure speed is all I'm asking for people.