Radio Talk and Music (A tool for healing)

I listened to your clip, and it does sound like a really interesting idea. I think your biggest challenge would be getting people to take it seriously... having people use it as a real tool rather than just entertainment could take a lot of careful marketing on your part.

Thanks for sharing this!

Hi TheGreatWhiteBuffalo!!!
I just click the link and the clip is cool and nice.
You did a wonderful job!!!
But i can't hear well the sounds, i don't know why or maybe my network has problem.
But i like it, i like your interesting idea.
I hope it cam make a big move.

Hello my friend,

I have listened to your clip - twice.

Lec and beau have both complimented you so I will create the balance by playing the big bad meanie.

On the good side, I do agree that you have a very sweet voice. Nice timbre, and I can somewhat detect your sincerity.

Now for the not-so-good:

You were nervous. Your voice which was the only medium used for conveying your message screamed nervous. And this became even more obvious when you rushed your message near 1:30.

I also feel that you were reading your prepared script like a robot. Doesn't matter whether you read it from your mind or a piece of paper.

Also, the pace is too monotonous and there is no variation in volume. You need a bit of work on vocal variety to make the audience more interested and excited.

The biggest issue I have though is that there is not enough passion in your voice. For you to have this message you have suggests that you are passionate about the issue - yet I can't detect any passion in your voice. You are paying too much attention to your voice that the passion becomes lost. You are too worried about reading each word right that the passion simply dissipates. Crafting a speech may be mechanical, but delivering a speech cannot be purely so.

Content-wise, you are being too vague. And with the speech sounding a bit "slurred" for the first min or so, it is hard to appreciate your message fully. I know you are trying to incorporate some literary tools in your crafting of the speech, but it is not enough. If I were you, I would streamline the speech further to cut away unnecessary words, and then toss in some examples to jam it with more content. I will also choose more powerful words that have greater impact.

I don't think you can redo the clip since you have already submitted it - but you can always take this as a learning experience.

I do hope you are not mad with me for what I said. If you wanted a whitewash and some template feedback just "hey dude, you are awesome, I wanna kiss your feet!", then let me know in advance in future. I am VERY good at whitewashing people if they so desire.:P

GreatWhiteBuffalo, in your discussion, you request for us to figure out what you are writing about and make a comment about what we hear. I am very frank and simple. I just do as requested and here I share my comments:P

Before I clicked on the play button, I read the brief of what this clip is supposed to be. The title caught my attention. It was for a good and worthy cause. Good one. At the back of my mind, immediately there were 3 questions I seek the answers.

1) What was the concept?
2) How is it going to draw listeners to share?
3) How are the problems going to be fixed professionally?

If I had not read the brief, I would not have known what you are trying to tell me. Perhaps the pace is too fast for me to catch up. I have no problem catching up with the lady at the end of the speech. May I suggest you listen to the clip and hear the difference for yourself. You will know what I mean. Note the difference in the speed, tone and variation. This is an audio clip and I feel the voice is an important factor to bring your message across.

After the first 2 mins, I was "refreshed" by the lady instead. To give you a fairer feedback, I listened to the clip again, trying my best to "detect" what the clip is about in the next 2 mins. Yes, it is going to be a platform for victims. I heard it. Perhaps if the clip is longer than 5 minutes, I might have gotten my answer.

If you you not like my comments, you need not accept it. I am just sharing what I heard from your clip and it is purely my opinion how it can be made more appealing. Nevertheless, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to give my feedback.

hi there, i just listened to your clip, and i'm listening to it again as i type this.
as you may or may not know, i am a DJ for an online radio station - www.hotmix106.com... .
anyway, one thing i've learned from this experience of mine is that in order to keep the listeners going and interested you need to bring a different tone to your voice.
in the begining i had a few listeners, they were steady, but since i've learned to make my vibes known, it's gotten so much better... I have listeners, laughers, and enjoyers - when my software works for you now.
you have a wonderful voice, and it's perfect for this sort of program, i got it right off the bat, and actually i'm sorry to say i haven't read anything on the site yet, just the responses here.
I think the only problem in your recording is that you read it off.
I did an ad recording, i was in competition with this other woman, it was something we had a short time to read over and to this ad, well i did it once or 2ice, decided to think like someone listening to it, and changed my tone to better fit the piece, kind of memorising it in the process so that it was more my words than anything else.
well i didn't get it, but not because it wasn't good, but because they figured my voice was too young to pull off having a husband (part of the clip) and well, the funniest thing is, i'm married, and i doubt the woman who made the clip is.
when i heard the woman's clip i was disgusted, not because she wasn't good, but because you could TELL she was reading it.
that's the problem. It can't be read as a script, it has to be heard as heart felt, even if it's funny, your vibrations have to contend with the piece, i wouldn't have accepted it if it wasn't something that i had already checked into, it was just a website ad, i checked it out, and actually had a lot of fun with it, when i told the guy that had to say yes or no about what i was talking about, he totally got it, but in the end, it was the woman who owned the site's decision and well some voices just sound too young to be married i guess.

anyway that's not the point, sorry, i'm in an odd mood and keep forgetting what i was talking about, anyhow, what i'm saying if you haven't got it already is that you have to throw yourself right into it, before you do the recording, read it, feel it, care about it, then you will make a smashing recording.
you did very well, especially regarding your currant circumstances, you did wonderful, you have the voice, it's just to make it connect with the vibe your throwing out there.
i know you probably can't resubmit this, but if there's another chance, redo it, make it worth hearing, even if you just submit it to stations saying listen, i want this heard, what do you think.
you'll get places.