Religion a logical and humourous point of view Part 1

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Comedians can nail religion better than ANYONE IMO....here are some examples.. Eddie Izzard - "...So the Pagan religion had very big festivals, remember, on Easter and Christmas. The Christian religion came along and had very big festivals, at Easter and Christmas. Jesus died on one and was born on the other. ( doubting sounds ) ‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no!" So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it? You know, people going, "Remember, kids," the kids who're eating the chocolate eggs, "Jesus died for your sins." "Yeah, I know, it's great!” “No, no no, it's bad, it's bad!” “ No, it's bad! It's very bad. It's terrible! Whatever you want, just keep giving me these eggs." And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, "Hey, what, are you going to put those crosses in our warrens? We live below this hill, all right?" Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. It's a festival - it's the spring festival! Christmastime, you know, Jesus born to a big jolly guy in a red jacket. "Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho, baby Jesus! And what would you like for Christmas?" "Peace on Earth and goodwill towards men." "Well, what about a clockwork train?" "Oh, yes, much better. Forget peace on earth, I don't care.” And, you know, the Christmas fir tree, there's none of them in Nazareth. The “partridge in a pear tree” song was not sung at the Last Supper. They weren't there going, " 'And a partridge in a pear tree. Five goold rings!' Come on, loosen up, Judas." "Oh, all right..." " 'On the seventh day of Christmas...’ Judy, come on, Judy, loosen up." "Don't call me Judy, I've told you!" "Oh! Can you lend us a fiver, Judy? I'm a bit short." "All right, lads, Leonardo da Vinci's painting the picture, so everyone get your positions, here we go." "Jesus, why are you doing the big arms thing?" "Well, I don't know… I just thought I'd do a big arms thing, I don't know." "Well, I'm going to do a big arms thing as well." "Yeah, me too! I'll call that the big arms..." "Look, we can't all do big arms! We'll look like a squadron of Spitfires, for f*ck's sake! I'll do big arms and you just look at me and go, 'Ooh, he's doing big arms.' " "All right." "Leonardo, have you got that one? Have you got the painting? All right, now a fun one as well, ‘member... ( mocking laughter ) " George Carlin is another great one who talks about religion in his stand up..... "In the Bullsh!t Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullsh!t, big-time, major league bullsh!t, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullsh!t story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullsh!t story. Holy Sh!t!" any thoughts ;-)