Alzheimers and my Mom

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There is no certain way to get through something like that. Yes, you will cry, but you need to do that to heal. Let yourself feel all you need to feel when you need to feel it. I lost my grandparents very early in my childhood, and I never really grieved. I was trying to be the strong soldier for my baby cousin who had no clue what was going on. Bless you my friend. At least she will soon be free and you can have that knowledge.

I am in the same position as you are at the moment love, my mum has had this terrible disease for 12 yrs and is now on Morphine and hasn't eaten for over a week, so I know it will not be long, but I am grateful for that in a way, I know you understand that, it's because we care so much that we don't want our loved ones to suffer. There is no set way of dealing with grief, everyone is different and nobody will think bad of you whichever way you react, I am a emotional person too and cry all the time about it, it's because you care and there's nothing wrong with that. You will get thru this eventually in your own way, don't worry about what others will think or how to react, you will be ok accept help and just try not to worry about it too much, time is a great healer as they say.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

For many years I told family members that my grandma had alzheimers no one believed me, until my grandpa past away. My grandma was lost without her husband. She really showed signs of the disease. Later everyone came to me and told me that I was right. My grandma lived two more years, evreyday I would visit for lunch, I worked one block away from my mom's house, where my grandma was staying. So everyday I'd visit for lunch, my grandma would tell me the same stories, of when she worked in the factory during WWII. Everytime she told me, it was like hearing it for the first time, I would even ask the same questions everytime. It was sad to see someone you love and remember as being strong and smart going through this. One day at work, I came back from break and a lady from the office told me she had punch me out I need to go to the hospital, so I went. My grand ma was dying, she had cancer really bad along with alzheimers, I held her hand and talked to her for about an hour. She told me that she loved me and I told her I love her. She died while we held hands.
I don't think it bothered me because I think she had no more pain and didn't suffer anymore.
Now my mom is showing signs and I am worrying about her. I don't have to worry about me getting alzheimers because I was adopted into the family, and it doesn't run in my history. I feel for you and know what you must be going through.

Peace!

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and am the same as you in that I get upset very easily . I have not been through anything like this as of yet but feel that my husband's mother may be in the very beginning stages but we don't know this for sure yet . She forgets simple things like what the sugar is called or the name of a fork or spoon and has a hard time remembering simple things .
My friend deals with a lot of people that have Alzheimers and says it is definitley possible and that if she does have it that I won't be able to handle her and will have to put her in a home but I wouldn't want to do this . I have heard it is extremely hard to deal with and my heart goes out to you . Try holding on to the fact that you know that your mother will be in a better place and don't worry about falling apart because this is your right . She is your mother and this only shows that you care . This will be expected and no one will think any less of you if you do fall apart . I wish I had more to offer but don't really know what more I can say to take away your pain .
Take Care!!

You need to go see her one more time -- if you can.
My grandfather had Alzheimer's. As he lay in bed comatose in the last stages, I went to see him. I knelt down by the side of the bed and got up close where my face was in his. I took him by the hand and waited for him to open his eyes and I told him it was okay to die. It was okay to let go and die. He didn't have to fight and hold on anymore.
He looked at me for a long time.
He even tried to say something but no sound came out. Just his lips moving.
He was six hours away in a hospice and by the time I'd gotten home, I had a phone call from my Dad saying he refused his food and was dying.
He passed in his sleep during the night.
You don't think there's anything left in them at this stage.
One thing I know for certain. Every time I saw him over the last two years... I saw that spark...however dim...that was my grandfather.
He was there.
Even at the last.
You need to tell her it's okay for her to let go.

What an awful time you must have gone through sweety! i cannot really give you any advice on how to cope with the passing and funeral I am afraid! I truly believe that each of us copes in our own way and I don't think it makes any difference how many times you have coped with bereavement and funerals - each one affects you in a different way! I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you continue to feel at peace with the effects this illness has caused! xxxx

I am so sorry that your mom is so ill. It is a dreaded disease. We lost my Mother in law and Father In law to cancer. It is hard. I was very close to them. I had been thier daughter in law for about 27 years when they died. Take comfort in the fact that you will see them again. Death is not the end. It is just a new beginning on the next stage of the plan. That fact gave us much comfort. One of my husbands sisters is Authist and it was really hard on her. She believes that death is the end of everything. We were thankful that we knew the plan.

I lost my Mother to this horrible disease. I saw her go from my Mother a loving person to a entirely different person. It had effects that I will never get over. I cant even think about it without re living a lot of the horrible things that happened . I know my Mother who was a gentle, loving person would have ended her life early if she had known what was in store for her and her family.
The funeral was not as hard as losing my Mother while she was still alive. My heart goes out to you and your family. No one should have to suffer from this disease. Dont worry about being strong at the funeral, no one is going to expect you to. When you feel like crying cry. I use to go sit in the bath tub and cry.
I really do hope that things will be ok for you. Just know your Mother is going to a better place.

I am sorry to hear that your mother had to suffer with such a horrible disease. It has to be of some comfort that she is no longer suffering. I remember visiting my grandfather in the nursing home when he was in the last stages of Alzheimers but was too violent to be at home with us. Even though I was 7 or 8 years old at the time I remember feeling so upset that he had no clue who we were nor who he was himself. I was very upset when he died but now that I am grown up I am glad that he did not have to suffer anymore.

My husbands dad had Alzheimers one day he could remember and the next he was like a little kid. We would put the sox's baseball game on for him and 15 minutes after the game was over he couldn't tell you who won the game. So when he passed away it was a relief that he didn't have to suffer anymore. My husbands mother died the same day and they had been divorced for 20 something years they live 3000 miles apart. But 12 hours after his dad died his mother died of cancer. Was weird. But a relief cause we knew that they would be in a lot better place then the suffering they were going through. We are Christians and really believe in God and the bible. So here is something that might help you to deal with your mom's passing. Ecclesiastes 12:6-7 and 2nd Corinthians 5:7-8.