Another Snipet from my new story. Please Read! Thank you!

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I know it's long. But please, I could really use the critique! I know I am not the best writer and could use the help. Thanks. I really look forward to your comments, good or bad. Remember: This is NOT the beginning of it, characters have already been introduced. Thank you. The bed shuddered as the ship began to glide across the water. Michael lay on his stomach, a pillow under his chin, on the bed. Brandon sat at the foot of the bed, the television was turned to the USA channel. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet danced with the residents of the lower deck. “Why the hell are we even watching this movie?” Michael asked. Brandon shrugged. “It was on. Hey! You wanna have some fun?” Michael sat up. “Depends on how many people you’ll hurt in the process.” “No one will get hurt.” Brandon jumped up and dug through his suitcase. He lifted out a camcorder. He handed it to Michael. “Tape’s already in there. It’s all set. I just have to change real fast.” Brandon grabbed his swimming suit, locking himself in the bathroom. Five minutes later Brandon strolled around deck, Michael stalking behind him, camera in hand. Brandon turned and gave Michael a thumbs up, who nodded nervously. Brandon spotted an elderly couple sitting on deck chairs. The man sat reading a newspaper, the woman, sunbathing. She sat on the deck chair closer to the boys, the chair to her left was empty. Brandon signaled Michael to stop and start recording, he then walked merrily to the couple. “Hi,” he said when he reached the man and woman. The woman looked up at the shirtless boy in disgust. His swimming trunks, which featured a spinning Tasmanian devil cartoon, hung loosely on his hips. The old woman snubbed him, the man ignored him completely. “Do you mind if I sit here?” Brandon motioned towards the empty deck chair. The woman sat up, impatient. “Young man, why don’t you look for some company more suitable for yourself. Like the rats below deck.” Brandon shrugged. “It’s kind of hard to get a tan below deck. I’ll just sit here. Don’t worry I won’t bother you.” Brandon bent over and pulled down his swimming trunks, a black Speedo took their place. Brandon sat down next to the woman, who gasped in horror. "Roger!” She screeched at her husband, who until now appeared oblivious to the whole situation. The old man stared at Brandon. “Young man! Do you think that is appropriate attire?” “Well,” Brandon said, “I think to sun bathe it is absolutely vital.” “Roger, do something,” the woman pushed. “Boy, now you listen here,” Roger began. “Look,” Brandon interrupted, raising his voice. “I want to sunbathe without a couple of old windbags hassling me about my choice of attire. Besides,” Brandon laid down on the chair. “It’s not like your old lady hasn’t seen any of this before.” Brandon turned his head. “Am I right?” He winked. The couple gasped. A hand landed on Brandon’s shoulder. Jack Carter, his fathers right hand man, stared down at Brandon. He held Michael by the arm, who hung his head in defeat.