Do I have a right to feel hurt?

I just looked at your picture and you have 2 beautiful kids! And you are very pretty yourself! Yes you have a reason to be upset. That is awful. If I were you I would tell her that it hurts you. My mother in law keeps pressuring me and my hubby to have kids and she is always budding into our business. It bugs the crap out of me. My hubby said the same thing just ignore her. Then one day I came home and she was in the house going through my pictures and my hubby wasn't home. So I sat and had a talk with her. It has help She has backed away from us a lot. But your situation is different in the fact that she is being really hurtful to you. She has no right to say those things or let her 16 year old say those things to you. I would sit down and talk to her that is the only way things will get solved I can tell you your hubby won't talk to her cause my wouldn't either! It must be a man thing

I really feel for you. It's not easy when you have all the in-laws having a go at you. I think the least you should be able to expect is support from your husband!! I had problems similar to you where anything I or my wife did was never really good enough. I endured this crap from them for a couple of years, then my wife got pregnant. I thought things may improve. Big joke! Things steadily got worse. We were getting advice as soon as our son was born, even from the 18yr old sister, who thought she was an expert because she baby sat!! And the mother in law. She had 4 kids, she knew how to bring up kids!!! Failed to notice that my wife, (her daughter) has been in and out of psyche wards since she was 15. Yes,perfect parent,NOT! Then, anytime our son reached a important milestone, oh,well, one of her kids did it 6 months before,blah blah,blah!! Well, to cut a really long story short, my wife finally had a gutful, as I had as soon as I met them, and has now severed all ties with them. We have now been really happy for the past 12 months. Sorry about that, I didn't mean to prattle on. I think you have every right to feel hurt, and I hate to tell you that it probably won't change. As I said, it is a real kick in the guts that your hubby sides with his family, he obviously won't do to them what my wife did to hers. Good luck dealing with it, sorry I couldn't be more help!

Yes, you DO have a right to feel hurt. Your husband's family is dumping all over you and he's not defending you or his kids. He needs to understand that YOU are his family now too. They are HIS kids (AND his wife) that are being slighted!! He needs to grow up and realise that he promised to love, HONOR, and whatever else your vows consisted of. Allowing other people, even blood relations, to verbally slap you like that is cowardly on his part, he certainly isn't honoring you. Is it supposed to be an "Honor" to be treated this way? Your MIL sounds like a real treat, too!! Why is having a shower for you pointless??? Difficult, maybe, especially if your side is all out-of-town -- all the more reason for her to pitch in to help throw one for you. She's really behaving very badly -- especially towards "Family"!!!!! Perhaps it is "pointless" for your children to be around her very much anymore! You know, Thanksgiving and Christmas might be about as much as your children should be exposed to a situation which sounds like it's only going to get worse -- especially if your husband doesn't step up and get his mother and sisters in line. There's no reason on this green earth why you should have to be around people who make you feel badly, and even worse, make your kids feel badly! If he wants to see them more often he can go by himself, and if you are confronted by your dear MIL about you or the kids not being around as much, tell her you love her but that you just don't feel welcome or comfortable and feel like everyone would be better off without you or the kids. The 16 year old needs a real slap in the face!! That is soooo rude!! You need to stand up to this little prima donna brat -- especially if your hubby won't. Being truthfull doesn't mean being without tact or diplomacy! She shouldn't be judgemental about things she hasn't excperienced herself!! Hang in there! If it gets too much worse you should go to famuly counseling -- by yourself if hubby won't go. This is the kind of thing that tears families apart. You deserve better!!!!!!

You are a very pretty women and your kids are precious. It sounds like this has been a battle for you and your husband is not standing up to his family and telling them to knock off putting you down. I was in a similar situation and it is a no win situation. I would be telling my husband that you are his wife and it is not right that he doesn't stand up to his family and back me up. You would have to approach the subject with a positive attitude. Otherwise he will get his back up against the wall. I would not want my kids around that kind of a invironment. The thing about it is your kids hear them talk about you the way they do it cause them as they get older to start doing the same thing. Because they would see dad not doing anything about it. My situation was similar but I only had to put up with it for short periods of time when we came into visit. We lived over 1000 miles away from his family. Something definitely needs to be done for the sake of the children. They might start following the same pattern. I will keep you in my prayers.

I might be a little bit of an extremist in some areas, but I really think your husbands family does not like you and that is NEVER going to change. Your husband is worse because he tells you one thing like do what you want and ignore them. Then on the other hand he agrees with them and tells you that you do not understand what family is about. It sounds like they are all against you--even your own husband. If you do not have his support, what do you have in that family? I would leave him and start a new life. You deserve so much more. Believe me, it only gets worse. Were they like this before you married him? Was he like this before you married him? Think about that fact that you could be with a man who really loves you and will love your kids. It is true. You are not the only want who is abused here. Your child are abused to because they are treated differently, and let me tell you, that lasts a lifetime. It does something to -their self-respect. Move on.

Yeah you have the right to feel hurt.In your case, maybe you have to learn how to be insensitive.most of all when it comes to your in-laws.it's really hard to please everybody.Just go on with your life.In-laws are like termites.They really made a very tremendous mess or loose something.Pray for them that God will touch their hearts and made them realize how they treated you.Time will only tell when will it happen.

I have gone through a very similar experience.
Stay away and keep your children away. They do
not deserve to be treated that way. That is what I
did with my situation but my husband was on my side
a little more than yours. Things are better now because
I stayed away for so long. They treat me with more
respect when I go over. Don't ignore it. Stand up for
yourself and if that doesn't work stay away. You should
go on the Dr. Phil show. He would straighten them out.

she looks cute

YES you have the right to be hurt. I deal with similar things in my life. My mother in law has never liked me no matter how much she pretends to. My hubby has only recently began to see I was right about that. Mind you we have been together for 15 years this August!!
You need to decide if your marriage is more important or your pride. If your marriage is more important than you need to learn to cope with it. Ignore them as much as possible. It isn't easy but you need to learn to do it.

Also hard to do but you really should; is tell your hubby that you are not going to take abuse from his family. Give him the option of 'handling it' or you will. I did this with my hubby and he did tell his family to back off and stop treating me with disrespect. It has worked. Hasn't made my MIL like me but at least she pretends to. Goes behind my back and says things but at least she isn't being nasty to me anymore.

I also know what you mean about your baby being treated differently. I had a child from a previous marriage and she was always getting less than mine and my hubby's daughter. Until the one day I confronted my sister in law. She said "well she has her father to buy things for her". I explained that her father does nothing including barely ever calling if it isn't a holiday. From then on it has changed.
I'll tell you one thing my MIL does that drives us all insane. She takes the tags off of everything she ever gives us so we can't return or exchange it! how crazy is that?

Good luck. Oh you may want to see if there is a Freecycle group near you (just google freecycle). That is a group of people who give away usable items rather than throw them out. I have gotten and given) some really good things that way. May help with some of your needs.

You definitely have the right to feel hurt. I feel it's your husband's place to have a talk with his family and tell them they are treating you very unfairly. You are his wife and he should stand up for you.

It's good that your husband values family, but you ARE his family and it's like having an entire army against you while he stands back and does nothing. I agree that sometimes we have to ignore what others say, but this is family - people you are around continuously and a solution needs to be found.

Maybe your husband is afraid to stand up to them. Maybe he knows what he's up against and has no idea how to handle it. Still, it isn't fair to you.

As far as your sister-in-law's shower. Personally, I would let her enjoy her shower. It's her time in the spotlight and it's an event that will always be remembered and cherished. You aren't jealous of her having a shower or attention, but are hurt by how unfair you've been treated and rightly so. I would address those issues outside of her shower.

It could be that your husband's family is jealous of you. People who are jealous often attempt to bring others down to make themselves feel superior.

I hope that this situation turns around for you. You are a beautiful woman and don't let anyone make you feel less than you are.