Sibling Rivalry: Healthy or Unhealthy?
By mean_queen
@mean_queen (1713)
Malaysia
June 9, 2007 11:52am CST
As we all know, sibling rivalry is a fact of life for homes with a lot of kids. It's common. I went through it with my elder brother when growing up. I'm sure most of you have too. Some siblings do it just for fun, while some siblings are after the bigger 'piece of pie'! But when does sibling rivalry become unhealthy and becomes something that should be stopped? What if they grow up hating each other because of the constant competition? What are parents' roles in this situation? Do you think parents play a big role in controlling the consequences of sibling rivalry?
Thanks for your time responding to this discussion.. :D
2 people like this
2 responses
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I have long-standing experience with sibling rivalry. In the early years it seemed healthy and normal. All of my friends were dealing with it too. The difference was when we grew up. My friends are today close to the same siblings they had rivalry with. My siblings and I are as distant as can be. We don't know each other and in some cases we don't want to. I have a brother who refuses to interact with any of us. He had a long standing hatred with one brother and because the rest of us refused to take sides he has chosen for all of us. I actually got along better with and was closer to my brothers during those early years. I wish I could turn back time and do something that would have kept those relationships going. You asked if parents played a big role? I'd say yes they have. We were a family not allowed to speak at the dinner table. Asking each other for help was a no-no. Do it yourself was the family motto. When we weren't fighting we were not talking. None of us are fighters today. And as a family unit goes, all we have is the surname to bond us.
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
11 Jun 07
Woww.. I'm really sorry you have that kind of relationship with your siblings. I honestly can't say I understand how you feel. I guess in your case, the upbringing really does play a huge factor in what has happened to you and your siblings now. I sincerely do hope that you guys can find a way back into each other's hearts. I believe that blood is really what matters in this world. But I honestly don't know what it must be like to be in your shoes. I just wish for your happiness MJLami~! :)
1 person likes this
@mean_queen (1713)
• Malaysia
12 Jun 07
Aww.. I'm sure that will happen one day. I have faith in that. I'll pray for your family's happiness too.. :)
@samtaylorskykierajen (7976)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
Sibling rivalry is a fact of life and shouldn't be too much of a concern unless someone is repeatedly getting hurt as a result of it . It teaches children to get along even when they disagree with someone else and helps them to interact better with others but if one child seems to be depressed , withdrawn or scared because of the sibling rivalry then something needs to be done as no child should afraid of his or her own home and no child should be afraid of their own sibling .
I do believe as parents we play a big role in sibling rivalry weather we realize it or not . How we handle the situation , weather we give more attention to one then the other , how we settle the disput that is going on or anything else can be causes for one child to want to strike out against another one . As parents we have to be aware of what is going on all the time even when we are not in the room . To take the time to listen to what our child are telling us and to never single one our over the other and to always assume that what one is telling is the truth over the other .
