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myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life 5 years ago

As you all may know that i'm already 25 and still living with my parents...i don't help my dad pay the bills because i don't earn much to be able to... and now they are having one of their frequent fights...The usual something about money...that the bills are filling up and all...
This is one of the reasons why my sister work away from home and now i'm thinking of leaving them also. But i'm having second thoughts... I'm thinking about my mom and my other sibs... i mean what would they do with out me...Though i know i'll be happy working away from home...
What should i do?

 

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tags:  parents, bills, family, money, mom and dad
 
1. myLot reputation of 91/100. trk918 (217)   ranked 9,968 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

Maybe you should help pay the bills. Any little bit would help them. If you moved out you would have to pay all of the bills by yourself so why should living with your parents be a free ride? Is there a reason you can't get a better job or a second job? You being there means higher bills for them. More food, electricity, water, laundry soap. So unless you are caring for your mom & siblings think about a different job.


myLot reputation of 93/100. dfollin (2650)   ranked 45 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

I agree.Why can't you get a better job and help?I don't understand,what about your mom and other siblings if you leave?


myLot reputation of 80/100. fizzytom (435)  5 years ago

I agree with these comments - if you can afford to move out you can afford to help them.

Many people your age are married and have their own families to support so you are certainly old enough to contribute.


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

don't get me wrong i give almost half if not all of my salary to my mom...she use it to pay for our other expenses... like for food and stuff... in fact i've been working for almost 2 years and i haven't got a saving for my own but i have a life plan and i got both of my parent's their life plan which i am paying also... SO that's how all of my salary go and of course i buy all of my personal stuff like soap and clothes...


myLot reputation of 95/100. sharon_ (508)   ranked 718 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

Your post said that you don't give your dad any money because you don't make enough money. So, I'm wondering which is it? Something is very wrong here. I feel sorry for your parents. Grow up!


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

i said i don't help my dad because i give everything to my mom which is in charge with buying food and other stuff! i have expenses of my own so don't judge me if you don't understand what i'm going through...

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2. myLot reputation of 94/100. maddysmommy (10969)   ranked 693 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

It's a tough call. I on the other hand would probably start contributing to something like paying for the gas bill or something else just to lighten the load, even if it was only part of the bill or even a little bit of it i.e $10. A little bit helps.

It's tough going out on your own, and it means having to pay your own bills like rent, phone, gas, power etc. If you don't have the means to do that, then it's probably better to stay where you are until you are able to. Good luck!


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

yeah i know its easier said than done! thanks for your reply

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3. myLot reputation of 32/100. jmathen (114)   ranked 11,298 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

Ever talked about this matter to your mother and siblings?? I think you should first sit and talk with your mother. Dont bring up the point of "payment of bills" but as you already said, that it might make you feel happy. Just try to know how she feels about it and as You think , if she is not so fond of the idea , then dont push the idea. Just try to give a heads up about the thought ( one day you will have to move out, i guess??) For now, try another good paying job or a second shift which might earn some extra bucks and pitch in.. You will see things might be going in a smooth way. On the other hand, if your mother also thinks that you should be out and independent and learn how life is, then go ahead and try to take steps to move out eventually. Well, this is just my opinion. Think and do what is right for you..Good luck !


myLot reputation of 71/100. minijumbuk (292)   ranked 6,445 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

it is always easy to say what to do, but to actually get the courage to step up and talk to them is a totally different thing, i do that sometimes, i think i can do it, but when i am actually in that situation, my brain freezes and i cant get my message across


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

maybe when i can buy a place of my own and not move out to an apartment to rent... thanks! for your advice i'll try to keep that in mind


myLot reputation of 71/100. minijumbuk (292)   ranked 6,445 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

Buying a place costs A LOT of money, and often takes many many years to save up, instead, don't you think taking out a mortgage is a possibility? You don't have to pay the full price of a house and you can live in it right now! Another thing good about it is that if the prices for houses is little right now, you can even sell it later on when it appreciates and buy another cheaper house to live in, with some money in your back pocket.


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

yeah thanks for the advice... :D

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4. myLot reputation of 71/100. minijumbuk (292)   ranked 6,445 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

A little or a lot it doesn't matter, i think you should help out, just pay for parts of bills or just shove some money to them, its the meaning that counts, If they are really tight on money, i think it is a wise decision to first talk to them about you moving out and work out away from home. See how it goes and act accordingly, if they agree that you should earn more money moving out, then do so, and just visit them once in a while, but if they really miss you, and dont want to let you go, you would have to find a better paying job sooner or later when you want to develop your own family


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

i help out but i just can't afford to pay everything...but thanks for the reply

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5. myLot reputation of 89/100. billabadmash (913)   ranked 1,416 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

I think you should look for any respectful job and earn something for your family atleast make your own expensises so that you dont make any extra burdon on them and then try to get better and better job in order to participate with your family and yeah i prefer not to leave family as family is a good thing to be with :)


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

I am planning to look for something better but i won't resign my current job until i find a new one because finding a new job in our country is really hard even if you have a great degree

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6. myLot reputation of 91/100. stormygrl (679)   ranked 7,924 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

It's time to be on your own and it would be one less person for them to have to support. At 25 you should be taking care of yourself.


myLot reputation of 91/100. pilotjune1972 (164)   ranked 10,355 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

stormy girl you have such strong words...maybe her personality isn't that strong like you...but its cool to have a strong personality...


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

thanks pilotjune! but i think stormygrl meant that it would be better for me to learn how to be independent... believe me i am! I just worry about my family so much and our culture is really different from the other country

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7. myLot reputation of 99/100. samtaylorskykierajen (5842)   ranked 2 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

If you are thinking about leaving then you would have to pay all the bills on your own so I would suggest trying to help out a bit , it doesn't matter what you give but if they are fighting over money then changes are they really could use some help . They don't want to kick you out because you are there daughter and they love you very much but it doesn't change the fact that one extra person in a household can put the bills up so much more .

Maybe you could try talking to your mom and see what she suggests as well since it sounds like you are closer to your mom then your dad and you could try talking to your other siblings as well .

Take Care and best of luck !!


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

:D yeah and don't get me wrong i love my parents so much! its just that my dad sometimes say harsh things that's really hard to forget...

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8. myLot reputation of 97/100. Marie2473 (5321)   ranked 263 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

You are 25 - that means that u are an adult and if u belive that you wil be happy to go away then it is your call.
You can not live your life for your parenst - at the age of 25 it is time to get a life for yourself if that is what u want =)


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

yeah i know i have to leave them sooner or later...thanks

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9. myLot reputation of 97/100. warmweatherwoman (1385)   ranked 698 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

Your 25- if you aren't going to help them pay bills- then you need to be out on your own- paying your own bills- nothing in life is free.


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

yeah i know money makes the world go round...

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10. Melda1 (45)   ranked 17,942 out of 32,957 in life   5 years ago

Money or lack of it is what causes family arguments and sometimes family breakdowns.

I don't know your current situation, but can you help with the bills a little bit? Maybe take over paying one or two small bills each month.

If you need a better job, start looking in the newspaper, take anything you can get if you have to, at least in the beginning. Temporary agencies are often looking for people with computer skills especially in the summer months, when office staff take their vacations. See if this is an option for you.

Good Luck!


myLot reputation of 96/100. oasis_9 (563)   ranked 1,884 out of 32,957 in life  5 years ago

I give half of what i earn to my mom but my dad expect more than what i could offer so :( but i'm use to it...

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