Engagement

Honestly, I wouldn't bring it up as it is just going to cause problems. When he is ready, he will come around and start discussing it with you. If I were you, I would just accept that he doesn't want to get married and get the idea out of your head of every being married to him. That way you can have a happy relationship with him with no expectations and if you one day get married, you both will be happy with the decision.

I say to talk to him about it, even though you've already tried. Explain why you want to get married, and ask him to truly explain why he's afraid of some sort of commitment. If you can get him to be honest, you can get much farther.

Mare if you did manage to change his mind or rather managed to get him to do it even if he didnt really want to I should say..do you honestly think the marriage would last if it wasnt at all what he wanted in the first place? I doubt it...it'd end up being a serious source of resentment and you'd end up divorced....If you two have talked about it and he is being headstrong I would really sit down and think about the situation and ask yourself some very important questions.... Mainly can YOU be with him happily WITHOUT being married? WHY doesnt he want to get married.. HOW does he state he doesnt want to get married (big key in the answer to that one), what words and tone does he use..... If he were to change his mind for whatever reason, is your relationship strong enough on all levels, compatible enough and so on to survive marriage...Thats a rough one to answer without a doubt but its an important one IMO.. and why is it so important to YOU to get married..that would be a key thing too I woudl think Like I think the poster above me mentioned...I wouldnt force the issue with him cause it could very well end up in a bad way... My views on marriage...well I think ppl get married too frequently, too hurried, too much for the wrong reasons....which si IMO why the divorce rates are so high...I also think that ppl who get married should live thier marriage how THEY want to rather than how their families, neighbours, society etc etc thinks they should...which is another reason IMO that divorce is so high....BUT I'm not your average bear....Jeff and I didnt HAVE TO get married and we could get divorced tomorrow and it wouldnt phase me in the slightest...I love him very much, no doubt about it BUT my life doenst NEED him or my marriage.. Ppl tend to get married and think that without that person all of a sudden they'd be "less than" or couldnt cope etc and I'm far from that....I survived before my hub and I'll survive long after ya knwo....I dont put the stock in marriage or relationships that the average person does...I see no reason to ya know...LOL Ppl mistake that for me being cold or not truly knowign how to love blah blah blah but the reality is THAT IS LOVE..NOT depending on him like my life needed it IS love for me....that way we can be a true couple without their being useless complicated strings attached ya know..There is no threats of "getting divorced" when things get rough....there is no holding that dependancy over my head or his head etc etc....To me that is truly loving someone ya know....He doesnt NEED me and I dont NEED him..We're together because we love each other, compliment each other (mesh), and because we like being together...but we dont NEED each other in any sense of the word ya know.. BUT here is my disclaimer LOL I dont for one second think that ppl who DO NEED their partners are foolish, silly, doin it wrong etc...its just that for us and for me it simply doesnt work that way ya know...

Get married anytime you want... if you BOTH feel you are ready for it. marriage is not a gift to demand to ask for proof of how much someone loves you... Sometimes it is best given in time you least expected it... Maybe your bf wants and need more time... but it doesnt mean that he does not love you. Ask him why he did not want to get married... if he gave you a reason that he's not yet ready..tell him you'll give him all the time needed...you wait... and you still love him... but it will make you a lot happier if you'll get married. I guess thats the time he will decide... because he wanted to make you happy. Do not pressure him...let him decide freely.... youve been together for years because you love each other not because if you reach a certain years you can get married... so then let it be the reason why you guys get married... not because you feel that you are together long enough to get married. MARRIAGE should always be entered with caution... it should be nourished with love, trust and respect... for it to stand a lifetime.

Maybe you should open up with him that you wanna be with him for the rest of your life. Maybe he is not damn that he wouldn't understand what you tried to emphasize. But just wait for him to propose. Maybe his views about marriage would change because of you. Just say what you wanna feel.

well the best thing to do would be to talk things out , get it into his understandings that you want to marry him and continue your life and have kids.

My sweetheart has been divorced thee times, but I have never been married. We know we love eachother and there is no denying it. I want to get married, not because I've never been married before but because I LOVE HIM!!!! He wasn't sure as first, but the deeper in love we feel the more he realized we should get married, because according to him I am the love of his life, so why shouldn't he marry me? He is the love of my life.