Travels with my mother and bother - I mean brother, part 2

@ElicBxn (64169)
United States
July 2, 2007 4:49am CST
It was after I got up & showered & was eating cereal that we had picked up the night before at the WaWa. Mom had already finished breakfast & my sis’ friend was in the shower that we got the phone call. By listening to my sister I deduced the information. I got up & asked softly “did he die?” She nodded. My mom was asking “What?” I got in front of her & said silently, but so she could read my lips, “Dean died.” I then, real quick, grabbed a tissue from my purse & handed it to her. We had hoped, when we planned this trip, that he would still be with us. At least my sister had a chance to see him on Sat while he still knew who she was. My sis offered to tell Dean’s father, my uncle that he had passed. Dean’s wife said that she appreciated that. We then went down stairs & got in the car. Getting in the car was a production. Since mom is in the wheelchair & really has gotten too weak, or unwilling to provide much help. My sister or her friend would help her out of the chair & while they were getting her turned to get in the seat, I’d take the wheelchair & load it in the back of the van. I’d give them advice, because I was the one down in Texas seeing how the Manor moved mom, but they really didn’t take any of it. I will grant that my sister’s friend did work with handicapped kids. We picked up my brother at my aunt’s place & then drove over to my cousin’s place so he could use their extra car. We made arrangements to meet my cousin’s wife for lunch later. We then drove over to the facility that my uncle was staying at. This is a nursing home, an intermediate/rehab care & adult day care. We got out & went in to see my uncle. Let me tell you that nobody expects to outlive their children. Especially not when you are 85. My uncle was very saddened by the news. Not unsurprisingly, his daughter-in-law hadn’t told him how bad his son had gotten. We sat with him a bit before we left for lunch. My sister asked what he wanted to do now and he told us that he didn’t care, it didn’t matter. We assured him that it did matter. Did he want to stay in NJ or come down to TN, where my sister lives. I kind of thought these questions shouldn’t have been thrown at him so soon, but nobody asked me. I know they wanted an answer before we left on Thursday, but I would’ve at least waited a few hours. We loaded up the cars and headed out to the restaurant. The place didn’t look real open, and the ramp into the place went in a side door. I tried to get my uncle to wait until on of the others got there to help get him in, they had brought along a wheelchair for him, but he proceeded to “walk” that wheelchair right up the ramp to the door. I can see now that my uncle is just like his sister, headstrong, but he’s also physically stronger than mom. It was a nice place, I had a tiny piece of flounder with some nice fries. Mom had a shrimp salad on a hard roll. After we ate, we took my uncle back to the place. My brother & sister went off to help my cousin’s wife look at papers since my cousin had done all the financial stuff all during the marriage & she didn’t know what was going on. My sister’s friend, my mom & I went back to my aunt’s place. Quick explanation, my uncle & cousin, Dean, are on my mom’s side. My aunt & the cousin I will soon be talking about are from my dad’s side. We sat about on her porch all the lovely afternoon & visited. It had rained in the morning & that Monday was a cool & pleasant afternoon. I got a phone call from where my mom lives & got some over the counter meds to give to my mom for her cough. Along about 6 my brother & sister arrived & before they got there we ordered subs & a pizza (for me) so we could eat when they arrived. We also ordered an extra sub for my cousin & her husband when they got there. It was about 8 when they arrived. My cousin ate 2 pieces of the 3 pieces that were left (there were only 6 to start with.) Her husband ate all the sub & then the last piece of pizza. I think he would’ve eaten more if it had been there. Before we left, he made a reservation to take us to a restaurant at the Tropicana casino for Wednesday night. We got in about 10 and put mom to bed. My sister’s friend stayed down in the casino while we got mom to bed, then we went down to join her. I had ginger ale, they had beer & my sister & I proceeded to lose $20 each of her friend’s money on the penny slots. An interesting way to kill an hour I guess. I then went up to bed for another rotten night’s sleep with my mother. End of day 2, Monday, June 25th.
4 people like this
7 responses
• United States
2 Jul 07
Awww I am so sorry you did not get to see Dean before he passed, that is a shame, but at least you were there to help the family out after the fact, I know they appreciated your help, it is so hard to go through the motions when you lose a love one. Be well, my friend!
2 people like this
@servlet (190)
• Poland
2 Jul 07
Uf! English is a foreign language for me. But I managed to read all this above! I learn more than one language from birth, from a very young age: I am bilingual. I can be said to have two mother tongues but it is not easy to me to use this secound one. But it is always nice to practise. Thanks and regards, Servlet
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Congradulations on reading all that. I try not to use hard or slang words.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I ‘m sorry to hear that your cousin passed before you got to see him. That had to be hard- especially for your mom as well. I’m glad that you were there to help her and your uncle through this tough time- Sounds like you are having a bit of fun other than that- gambling- eating out- and seeing people you don’t normally.
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
5 Jul 07
Such a busy sad day for you and your family to go through. I'm so sorry about your cousin hon. And I'm sorry that you didn't get there soon enough to see him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jul 07
I am so sad that you didn't get to see Dean before he passsed. it's so unfair to go all that way. at least he is not suffering anymore.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
14 Jun 09
Still no rest! You gotta do something.
1 person likes this
@blackbriar (9075)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Sorry to read about Dean's passing. Too bad you and your uncle couldn't see him b4 he left this world. Will be in my thoughts and prayers, Elic.
1 person likes this