How to say goodbye to a relationship you never have before....
By juliemarie84
@juliemarie84 (642)
United States
July 5, 2007 1:34pm CST
I have been with the same guy since High School. Our relationship was always great, until college. His family hated me and it put strain on our relationship, They were mean to me and he stood up for me, but then they just made his life miserable. We dated for almost 4 years before we broke up.
We broke up for a while, and I saw another guy. The guy didn't work out, and my ex-bf wanted me back but not 100%. We were a couple in everyone's eyes, but he still didn't want to call it that for a while. He was scared things would be bad again. So for about 2 years we did that. And I saw no one else.
Now we've been an official couple for almost a year. As you can see this has been 6 years basically with him. He moved far away and I said I didn't want to deal with a long distance relationship. He said that disappointed him that I wouldn't even try. So I said I would try as long as certain things would happen. 1) Since we only lived 3 hours away we would alternate seeing eachother on weekends or whenever we had off. 2) We would call or talk online a lot 3) Since I had no school from July - August 27th I could stay with him for a while until I had to go back in September.
All in which he said was just fine and we'd do that. So it's been almost a month since he has moved. I drove to see him twice, he never drove once to see me. I call him, and he answers okay and we talk online some. I told him I would hold off getting a summer job until I went there then. We made all sorts of plans. And I was talking with him at 7pm and he's promising me that I'm still coming (I was to be coming Sunday) and then he goes to see fireworks with his little brother that is staying with him until Friday, he returns and I go, "Hey, I need to order this textbook online for my online course, since it won't make it here by Friday or Saturday, could I just have it sent to your place?"
His answer, "No."
I'm like, "Why NOT, it would be stupid to have it sent to my apartment 3 hours away if i won't be there."
He says, "I haven't gotten any mail since I moved in yet so I'm not sure it's working."
I said, "Now you're making excuses. IF you aren't getting mail that's BAD because you need to get your bills."
I asked him, "What do I do if I'm at your place and my book arrives in my apartment?"
He said, "Drive back and get it."
I'm not gonna drive a 500 mile round trip to pick up a text book that I could have sent right there. Stupid!
So as I stated before if he put me through this, especially since I put a lot of things off until July that if he was gonna push me away and not want me there after being together for 6 years that I would have to break up. It's not fair to me I am sacrificing affection and being close to someone that loves me... just to be with a guy who now only wants to see me on his terms. I asked if he still wanted to be dating and he said Yes. I don't deserve to have a boyfriend that is 250 miles away that I seem to have to do all the work for. (He moved for a new job after college graduation) It makes me feel like I'm just gonna be his booty call if he does minimal work and then allows me to drive to see him occassionally.
I told him if he was gonna push me away it would be a Goodbye, but I'm afraid he thinks it's just another one of those, "Oh she's mad at me, she'll get over it." Cause I've told him I'm done before, and it always seems to work out. I absolutely cannot deal with this long distance relationship from June - December especially because I don't even know if it's going anywhere. What happens in December if I am loyal to this guy and put up with this distance and sacrifice being close to someone who lives nearby and when I graduate, December comes and he STILL doesn't want me there?
I asked him if he only was saying no cause he was tired and needed sleep and he said, "Maybe, I do'nt know...we'll see tomorrow."
I need to put my foot down and for him to realize I'm done for sure and he can't be part of my life anymore and bring me down if he just wants to use me, yet not put any effort in this. Why would someone tell someone for 2 months the can move in with them for a summer, and then 2 days before it happens they say No. There is planning involved in this crap. I need to pack, get my place spotless, fridge cleaned, and look for a job for the rest of the summer...and he doesn't care, he seems to change his plan back and forth depending on his manic state of mind.
I need to do something, and fast. I feel like I'm putting everything on pause (love, affection, job, life) because I don't know what's happening one minute to the next. He'll be making about $32,000 a year now, and I'm still in college struggling, I can't afford $50 trips to see him every couple of weekends. All my part time money will go down the tube to see him if I have to stay where I am for the summer, and only get to make weekend visits. It's not gonna happen. Not when he promised me for 2 months.
We've never ended things officially. But after all this I Really feel like I should. And I don't know how to show it to him that I'm done this time. Cause as you can see from this story...when I'm mad I need to write it out or say it... so we always hear from eachother _
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