The Most Absurd.....  

Fanny packs. They're just rediculous. Who invented those things?

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/08/27

For me it's the directions on some bags of microwave popcorn. You have to take off the plastic overwrap and unfold the bag to read the directions. Then the first thing it tells you to do is to "Remove plastic overwrap and unfold bag"!

Drive thru ATMs now with braille!!
Boxes that say directions on bottom on the top; and do not turn box over on the bottom
Giant chains that do nothing
Fake shiny teeth that do nothing
Some people's rims (You aren't cool, you look tacky)
Ultra giant cowboy hats (okay, its big. so? no one really cares.)
Doors with incorrect handles/directions
My cup holder in my car (sticks to any drink, even water)
Febreeze Air (its just too powerful chemical wise but really doesn't work)