What effects does divorce have on children?

Divorce is never anything that one should strive for or should have to go through. I think kids turn out all right or turn out not so all right depending on the home environment. If the home environment was wildly unstable - the divorce happened after years of mom belittling dad or dad hitting mom, etc, then the kids are going to be WAY more affected because they may have self esteem issues on top of it rather than it just being an adult issue that kids weren't privy to. Also, sometimes it involves the abscence of a parent from their lives due to these issues with little or no visitation and that breaks children's eharts. If the reasons for divorce were "growing apart" or not taking the time to work on and nurture the relationship between the two adults, it is not a reason for divorce that kids would have been as aware of especially if they were very young. They may feel to some extent that its their fault, but the parents would probably be more likely to continue to co-parent the children even if they lived apart. Or at least they never saw mom and dad strike eachother, or act disrespectfully in front of the children very often.

I think alot od it has to do with how the pparents handle that. If the kids are told mommy and daddy love each other, but are happier living in different places..but BOTH love the kids very much and will still see them and spend time wiht them alot..the kids will do fine. (Kids are flexible.They want both parents to be happy.) As long as the parents do NOT talk bad abut each other in front of the kids, it;s OK. It's only the kids whose parents are immature and fight and call each other names in front of them that have problems. If a parent is NOT close and moves away and the child can't communicate wiht them or see them, the child can face watching the parent wiht them feeling bad, crying , talking bad about the other parent..facing economic problems, etc..THOSE kids will not do well. If parents can get along and stay together, I think the kids are more stable. But I do NOT think that kids whose parents HATE each other but say they are staying together for the sake of the kids ae doing them any favours. What does that tell the kids? STAY, even if you are feeling psychologically or are being physically abused? (That they don't eserve a happy life!) NO..I don't think those kids are more stable as adults. If two peopl no longer love each other, than divorce in a mature manner can be the best option. I don't happen to be and just had my 25th anniversary? but I do see times when people stay together for the kids and make the kids' lives MISERABLE! There's a time and place for divorce. But the couple had to agree to work as co-parents for the kids wiht no bad-talking of the other parent. And they should both keep involved in the kids' lives. Then..it can go OK!