diary of a mad black woman

sometimes i find myself so angry i guess mostly at myself and the decisions i have made in my life but since i'm not looking in the mirror i take it out on my man even the he's the best i can't let go of past mistakes that we made and the fact that it has led us to a city that i for one cannot strive in ( i have learned to belive i can do anything anywhere) he's was able to tranfer his job and most of his family is here so he may not feel so different he is a great provider lover and friend however i seem to be so unhappy that it may wreck our relationship and then everything will be my fault and i don't want that i just want to have a choice of independency or wanting to stay home i want to meet friends and be close to family that i don't have here most days i am great but sometimes i just feel he dosen't see me for the person i am or was outside our home and being frustrated being home all the time . what do i do?