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Rain and my love - complete

tarachand (2294) ranked 320 out of 23,397 in relationships

2 years ago

Once upon my youth on a rainy day, and a rainy evening
A hurried love making to end the rainy evening.

I looked up as she already dressed, opened and went out the door
At that time I never knew that I'd see her thus no more.

A minute later, buttoning my shirt,
Brakes squealed, a thud, thought I, 'Oh my someone's badly
hurt!

Dressed I walked out of our love nest,
To see a crowd collected, an acquittance my palm suddenly pressed.

Heart thumping, breath stopping, I rushed to the spot
The crowd parted, many I knew, many not.

There I saw her lying limbs spread, and then I began to lose my mind
And I bent, I felt her still heart that just a few moments ago beat next to mine.

'She's gone', said someone as if from such a distance
while pulling me up, I offered no resistance.

'My love, my love, my love, come back come back!' said my silent scream,
Is this just a bad nightmare, just a dream? Asked again and again I, 'Is this just a dream?'

Followed by the sorrow, anger filled my heart,
I turned to the cowering drunk whose driving did tear us apart.

I wanted to hit out at him, to do what he did to her,
I raised my fist and suddenly his wife, she did appear.

'Spare him, spare him', I sensed the pleading in her eyes
She too must love him as I did my love, so did I have a choice?

I looked at my lover and covered her with my coat
I turned away my heart leaden, sobs arising deep from my throat.

'Why, oh why, in our lovemaking did we tarry so?
Couldn't we have left together sooner, my love, my love, now you are no more!'

Darkness then descended upon me, life entered a limbo from which seemed no return.
The pain, the grief so intense, nothing mattered, everything seemed colorless with no pattern .................

==============================================
The above actually is the first part of the poem. I have already posted the second part on mylot more than half a year ago, you can find it on this
link:

http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1163812.aspx

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am copy pasting the part that is the continuation of this one:

QUOTE:
...The pain, the sorrow as I beheld her mangled form splayed
And wanted to smash the evil face of the drunken driver so dismayed.

Would I ever love again, would I ever have the same feeling,
Like the ones I did when I made love to my lost love?

How could I ever control my raving mind's screaming?
Life to me then it seemed to me was all push and shove!

My life it was a mess, and then after a couple of years I did transgress,
And did chase and charm to conquer, I confess.

No,I couldn't feel anything, nothing at all, the pain of loss so intense,
Yet continue to philander did I, though I knew it made no sense.

Until another early rain in spring, well, actually a thundershower,
I met her, and wooed her and her I tried with my charm to overpower.

She told me and showed me my true face then in a mirror so real,
My true face so ghastly, so ghostly, so ghoulish, so surreal!

Ashamed was I, how, when, why did I lose myself, my humanity?
Gentle and understanding was she and became my wife,
Retaught me and helped me, I say with all humility.
And brought me all the joys and pleasures that make up our life!

UNQUOTE
========================================

Life's Lovely! Love & Live Life! Live & Let Live!

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Citychic (1992) response was accepted on 7/24/2009.

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tags:

transgress, rain and my love, drunken driver, confess, splayed

mimpi1911 (8139) ranked 26 out of 23,397 in relationships

2 years ago

That was beautiful, tara.
I am spell bound!

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sincere4frdship (918) ranked 2,995 out of 23,397 in relationships

2 years ago

Wawo ...

Its very nice ...

Thanks for share with us ....

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DancingFeather (339) ranked 13,476 out of 23,397 in relationships

1 year ago

oh my I am crying tears for you and what you went through.

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keymandan (741) ranked 3,463 out of 23,397 in relationships

1 year ago

First of all, I am so sorry about your loss. Drunk drivers kill lots of people, and I used to drive drunk for 10s of thousands of miles, until I got nailed for it. That gave me a head change. Spending 5 days in jail, and paying out almost $4000 definitely did the trick. Furthermore, I can't drive, legally, for some time yet to come. Did I stop drinking? No. Did I stop driving? Yes.

Now, I have discovered that there are many reasons why traffic accidents happen. Use of cell phones. Putting on make-up. Changing the radio station. Being exceptionally tired. Looking in the rear view mirror instead of the road ahead. Is there a Mother's Against Applying Make-up While Driving? No. Is there a Mother's Against Changing the Radio Station While Driving? No. Why not? Because, we would find that women are as involved in auto accidents as men, and that many of them are simply not good drivers. Stone cold sober. And then there is the whole issue of prescription drug use while driving. This is supposedly legal, and yet many of these prescriptions have the effect of impairing the response time of the driver.

While I sympathize with you, and your loss (for I cannot empathize), and I don't want to see drunk drivers on the road, I do want you to realize that there are many reasons for an auto accident - namely, distractions. Kids hollering or playing video games in the back can be a distraction. Then there are maintenance issues - what is the condition of the tires? All of these things can lead to an auto accident, and though I've not been in one in more years than I can count (thank the Lord!), even if I can't drive, I can observe. I can see what's going on. What's going on is that some people can drink, and some people can't. Some people can be multi-tasking while driving, and some people can't. Some people can know exactly when that light will turn green, and some people can't. Some people can get into an argument with their spouse, and drive with precision and very calmly, and some people can't. That's what I have observed. How we are to re-structure our legal system to handle this reality, I don't know.

I'm in the doghouse, again. Over a business deal that went bad, or a bad night's sleep. I don't know. Must try to persevere.

Dan

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5. wanvari (5) ranked 20,109 out of 23,397 in relationships

9 months ago

Very few people get a second chance at anything. You are lucky to have one for one of the most vitally important human needs - love.

Kudos to your better half (no offense intended) for having accepted you despite knowing about you. You must love her to so openly declare your troubled past and your good fortune on a public platform!

Wish you both success and a long happy and happy life of togetherness!

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Citychic (1992) ranked 323 out of 23,397 in relationships

6 months ago

Love.....live and let live......

That was a very beautiful poem, I hope and pray that this isn't what happened to you in your real life. I know you mentioned that you've been married for 28 years, so was this other person that got hit by the drunk driver, your first love or was it just something you made up? I often write poems myself. But this last real lover I simply cannot get out of my mind. I left him for some small offense. Now I'm starting to regret the fact that I ever left his side searching for something better, simply because my mom never did like my old lover:(. Happy mylot.

tarachand (2294) ranked 320 out of 23,397 in relationships

6 months ago

It was my first love(two years older than me, but that was never a consideration - it was love at first sight for both of us) and we were to be married once I turned 21, - the legal age for marriage in India for males, this was with blessings of both sets of parents, but then it was not to be. I did go crazy after some time and it is my present wife who brought me back to sanity, and of course monogamy.

My wife and I love each other and I still feel that even after 28 years, though we think we know so much about each other, there's a lot more that's even better that we have yet to learn and that's what makes our lives so interesting and seem so lovely. We keep on doing the unexpectedly expected things and make our live more fun, if you can understand what I mean.

Thanks for replying

Citychic (1992) ranked 323 out of 23,397 in relationships

6 months ago

Hey Tarachand, I am so sorry to hear about your fiancee's death. But I believe that everyhing happens for a reason. Who knows what might have happened if she had of continued to live. You could have wound up married to her then missed out on the one that you are married to now. It sounds as if monogamy is very important to you. So sometimes we have to thank God that what we might have wanted wasn't in the cards. Right now it seems as if you are married to the right woman and that you are very happy. The kind of relationship that you have is something to be greatly admired and respected. I hope the two of you will have a long and wonderful life together. I hope you can understand my perspective on this, being an outsider looking in. No one can really understand what you must have went through to loose a fiancee but thank God that your now present wife was there to help to pull you through. They say that God always have a ram in the bush, that is one of the sayings over here in the religious circles. Well I'm still looking for my ram and I hope i find it soon. God bless you my friend. Happy mylot. thumbup

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