This is for women who got infertile because of VD, this is not a condemning

Thanks, that is what I wanted to hear. It is just that I was brought up to believe that well getting a venereal disease even one like clymadea (sorry if I spelled it wrong) made you someone you would not want near someone else's son let alone have children.

i know i was brought up thinking the same thing, I mean thats what we were taught so we did not know.Now that i am a grown up I realize that people make mistakes and we are sorry afterward because maybe we were careless or was just unaware..I do not think that we should have to be marked by our shortcomings the remainder of our lifes..We suffer enough by our own mistakes without someone pointing fingers at us...I know a lot of wonderful people that have made lots of mistakes in life(me being one of them) but i cannot undo what i have done,so all i can do is to plunge forward and try to make my life better...We must bear each others weaknesses, and love each other, and be a support system for anyone who needs us...

You are right. It was just it was ingrained into my mind by all around me that if you had s*x before marriage and got pregnant, that no decent guy would marry you, and if you went for a check up and the doctor saw that you were not married and had had a child, he would call all his friends who wanted a good time. So that stopped the check ups, and when you met someone who would marry you, then as soon as he found out you were a bad girl, he would leave you. So that stopped getting help. The only time that you could was if you were married and often then it was too late.

I think our parents always told us this because in their day thats how it was,and it was bad back then becuse you became a public "Shame" to your family...I do feel that the ideal way is the way i parents thought it should be, but if we do mess up then we no longer nail you down and throw it in your face anymore,,Ha ha

I am talking about syphilis, gonorrhea, non specific gonorrhea and any venereal disease that does not include a death sentence, but can be spread through the woman without her being aware of it until too late.

STD stands for Sexually transmitted disease, aids/HIV being one of them.

It seems that getting any sexually transmitted disease rather than AIDS is still considered shameful. After all, back when I was in my twenties, we still had to go for a medical examination to see if we were healthy enough for marriage (a good way to find out if the girl had gonorrea and was considered a bad girl, or a boy had syphilis and proved he would not be faithful) but now they do not test to see if the boy or girl has AIDS and they are just told to voluntarily go to a clinic or tell their partner, no one says "you have to get a medical examination before you get a license any more."

My grandmother told me of the rich men who went to a private home because of syphilis, but she sure did not mention any women. It could be that with that disease, they were dangerous, but when they lump all them together, that is scary.

I do not think so, but sometimes I feel a little unsure, because why is it as a result of getting Vd, and not being able to treat it, you wind up being infertile? It has to be for a reason, doesn't it?

wasnt it Winston Churchill whos mom had syphliss?
THe only thing about vd is no different its a medical problem!

Well she had Churchill. Another thing, back where I lived, you had to take a test to see if you had or had had any vd, before you were married and it was not until I met my husband in 1972 that you did not need to, I guess because so many men left the girls there at the clinic after learning they had had vd. If they did not, the test would have continued in Canada to this day.

thats sad. and tehn too we had to take blood tests before getting married and now they dont!

Well if you have nothing to hide, then it is okay.

had nothing to hide!

I suppose in the States things were different but here if a girl had a past, her chances of meeting a good guy who would marry her were greatly decreased. It was a double standard.

I have not known one. Certainly I did not become a child hater, but it is the infertility part that bothers me as when I had the measles and had spots all over, myh skin did not start peeling and coming off -- I then started to wonder perhaps in ancient times all stds killed you and gradually they became chronic.

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That is nice to know. I wonder if it would make someone forgetful, that is they would love children but would unable to see the dangers, like they would be less likely to keep a child from doing something he should not.

That is an interesting question. I do know that in cases of untreated syphilis they do become mentally challenged and this could be a posibility. Al Capone contracted syphilis and it went untreated and it ravaged his body and mind before he died. Interesting thought. I also wanted to thank you for the best response rating! I am very flattered!

Your welcome. It was that you did not generalize all stds, but just said it was syphilis.

I was forced to give my daugher up for adoption when I was 17. Was practically told I would be put out on the street, and there was no help avaiable. Or rather it did not come available to at least six months later. The laws have changed now, but that forced many girls to give up their babies as if they kept their babies and their families kicked them out, they would starve.

That was your choice and I think you made it out of love. I hope she knows just how lucky she is to have 2 mothers love her, even if she doesn't know she is adopted.