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stand by your man... or not. email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 96/100. dragonfly242 (852)   ranked 426 out of 23,126 in relationships2 years ago

Okay here's the deal. I was watching the news on CNN last night and gov. spitzer of NEW YORK was talking to the media about some scandal about his extra-marital affair with an escort. anyway my focus was not on him but his wife. She looked haggert and so uncomfortable standing by his side. my question is could you stand by your man? and in standing by your man where would you draw the line?

 
 
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Ravenladyj (17909) response was accepted on 4/27/2008.
denotes best response.
tags:  mature content, who, knows
 
1. myLot reputation of 87/100. paulsy (1072)   ranked 748 out of 23,126 in relationships   2 years ago

I would stand by my man through everything, as long as he is honest with me. But once he has cheated on me and he gets into serious trouble, he has to stand by himself. It's a choice he made, from the very beginning. I cannot play innocent or naive before anyone when I know he has deceived me, before anyone else. If he loves me, he will not take the risk or not expose himself to anything that may ruin our relationship. But for as long as he is faithful to me, he will have my total support all the way, through thick and thin.


myLot reputation of 96/100. dragonfly242 (852)   ranked 426 out of 23,126 in relationships  2 years ago

i feel the same way. i believe in standing by my man. but cheating, disrespect and abuse is where i draw the line.

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2. myLot reputation of 86/100. Ravenladyj (17909)   ranked 422 out of 23,126 in relationships   2 years ago

LOL I was just talking to my husband about this last night (we live in NY) and I gotta tell ya..If I were here HELL NO I wouldnt stand by him!! He's an embarrasment to the family, to his job/career and to the ppl who voted his crazy dumb a$$ in in the first flipping place!


myLot reputation of 96/100. dragonfly242 (852)   ranked 426 out of 23,126 in relationships  2 years ago

thanks for responding to this discussion. i believe he's an embarrasment to.

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3. myLot reputation of 71/100. wildcat180 (127)   ranked 6,868 out of 23,126 in relationships   2 years ago

I think it's a very personal decision that has more to it than just simply, "stand by or not". First, can you forgive the cheating? Was it a one time thing or habitual? Also, like it or not, there are some people who have no choice but to stand by and "take it" because they can't afford to live on their own.

Personally, it would depend on the situation. If it was a one time thing that "just happened", I'd be more inclined to forgive and stand by my man. I don't believe in the old adage, "once a cheater, always a cheater". But if he was out doing everything in sight, or having a long term affair, then no. Out the door he goes.


myLot reputation of 96/100. dragonfly242 (852)   ranked 426 out of 23,126 in relationships  2 years ago

i feel sorry for anyone that has to stay in a bad situation because of a lack of anything. but your right it is a personal decision.

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4. myLot reputation of 94/100. lightningd (738)   ranked 867 out of 23,126 in relationships   2 years ago

I'm actually watching something on NBC on the Today show right this minute. The have the ex wife of the former New Jersey governor, Mcgreevy. Now apparently she is an expert. LMAO.

To me what it boils down to is cheating is cheating. I don't care if they're paying for it like the New York Governor, or they're having an affair with a co-worker or someone else.

Some people can work past an affair, and some can't. Having been cheated on in my first marriage, I don't know how these women are able to get past it.

For Mrs. Spitzer, I would imagine she is running the gammet of emotions. Does she want to say to heck with it and get out, thus giving up the money? Does she feel as if it's her fault? Does she think she is married to a pervert? I mean, there are so many questions she has to be asking herself, and to top it off she's going through all of this under the scrutiny of the media. I know when I found out about my ex's affair, I sure as heck wouldn't have wanted the press dogging me every minute of the day.

Then look at the whole Clinton thing. Bill and Hilary are still together. Perhaps their marriage is more of a business arangement than anything. Think about it for a minute. They have actually capitalized on his affair.


myLot reputation of 96/100. dragonfly242 (852)   ranked 426 out of 23,126 in relationships  2 years ago

your right. I wonder if they consider the damage they can cause to the one closest to them.

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5. suyuqingyuan (11)   ranked 12,966 out of 23,126 in relationships   2 years ago

I hold the view that everyone must have his space,and I cann't estimate I will "stand by your man or not" in the future.


myLot reputation of 96/100. dragonfly242 (852)   ranked 426 out of 23,126 in relationships  2 years ago

thanks for your responds.

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6. myLot reputation of 90/100. Linda4ualways (1123)   ranked 131 out of 23,126 in relationships   2 years ago

This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.


myLot reputation of 96/100. dragonfly242 (852)   ranked 426 out of 23,126 in relationships  2 years ago

there should be limit i have to agree. i most'ly feel for his daughters... because his wife can decide to keep him as her husband. but his daughters has no choice, he's their dad no matter what.

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7. myLot reputation of 95/100. speedy1279 (1490)   ranked 1,083 out of 23,126 in relationships   2 years ago

For me the line gets drawn on cheating, physical or mental abuse, and drugs/alcoholics. Two of my past serious relationships ended because of these reasons. I never thought twice either.

But you have to realize something about Mrs. Spitzer. First of all I don't condone what her husband did, he is a down right disgusting man. But she probably feels like she has to stand by him because of the politics and media. Could you imagine what it would be like for her, if she didn't stand by him? It would probably be much worse for her and her daughters. So I imagine she is doing this to protect her daughters. You never know, once all the media dies down, she might very well leave him.

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