How Old Is Too Old
By Rozie37
@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
April 5, 2008 9:41pm CST
For a child to come back home to their parents house. A friend of mine is upset because her 50 year old step-son has moved back into his father's house once again. I am not sure how old she is, but she does not look to be 50 yet.
We were talking about it and I was telling her that since I do not have any children or parents, I do not have much experience with this subject. Although, I did say that if his father was not alive, he would have had to go some where else. To which she replied that he should have gone some where else.
I know that two of my first cousins stayed at home with their mom until they were in their thirties at least. I think that this is way too long. Some parents will tell their children that once they leave, they can not come back. I guess there are some children who abuse this priveledge.
How do you feel about this? Would you let your child back in at any age? What about if that child was married with children? What are your feelings on this subject?
5 people like this
8 responses
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
7 Apr 08
I am not sure really how to answer this. I am 35 and I hadto move in with my mother due to health reasons. Before I was living with a good friend of mine and her husband. Momma was the one that helped me to find out what was going on with my helath. Once I got diagnosed with ms and needed help with it and got on disability. I paid her back for all the help she gave me when I was broke. I still live with her due to the fact I am scared to live along. Even when I went to Physical Therapy I was told I still need someone around. There have been a few times that I have feel down and needed help to get back up. Then again if it is a healthy person it might be different. I guess it depends on if they are just out to use or take advantage of their family or not.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
7 Apr 08
Oh no, I did not mean someone who is disabled. I too feel and experience your pain. I am speaking of someone who keeps going out, messing up, and running under their parents roof. Instead of standing up and doing what needs to be done as the adult that they are. At what point do the parents say enough is enough?
@Polly1 (12644)
• United States
6 Apr 08
I think family is everything, and you are never too old to live with family. Families should stick together, help each other out, be there for each other. We never know when we are going to need some help, we all do at some time in our lives. It always doesn't mean financial help neither, it might be emotional help. Life can be hard at times and I think families should stick together and support each other.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
6 Apr 08
I can appreciate what you are saying. But is there ever a time when a child does not even try to make other arrangements? I mean, I see going home as being a failure. Shouldn't the child exhaust every other option before deciding to go home.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12644)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Kids should try to stand on their own two feet. They shouldn't just run home when the going gets tough. because we all know the going will be tough st times. I believe in tough love but mostly I believe in love. Sometimes it can be the parent that needs the help too, it goes both ways. This is 2008 now, family dynamics are different. Life is harder, family doesn't always have to mean blood relatives neither. Family is love, family is caring, family should never turn their back on family. I know some of my comments are sort of off the main subject, but it just got me to thinking, and believe me becareful when I get to thinking, it gets scary, hehe.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
12 Apr 08
I think that it depends on the situation. if my kids are trying their best and fall on hard times, i will let them come back in at any age. i will never deny my kids in need. but if they are lazy and constantly coming back because they are making bad choices, then I'd have to say no. i will do my best to help them, but they have to help themselves too.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 Apr 08
I don't think I could ever turn my son away at any age if he needed me Rozie. I would hope he wouldn't at that age but if he did, I'll be there for him in whatever way I can (if I am alive still LOL)
Well now come on, who could say no to such a cute little face. That's a no brainer.
@vera5d (4004)
• United States
8 Apr 08
I think with the way the economy is these days it makes sense to live with as many people as you can stand to be around. I know it was very hard to get out my parent's house the second time when i had my son - it was a whole year of saving before i felt comfortable enough to get a crappy cheat apartment.
my hubby lived with his parents way too long, though I am glad he didn't end up being one of those people who depends on his parents or needs "mothered"...it was just the same thing where while you're in school or whatever you can't get out of that rut.
I think I will push my kids to do well and get out on their own, but if it was a dire circumstance I don't think I would be totally against it - though its hard to see 50 years from now, lol.
1 person likes this
@Deea48 (1166)
• United States
8 Apr 08
I think it is ok, to let your children move back in to get back on their feet again. But the goal should always be toward independence. Face it parents do not live forever. Chidren have to learn to be independent in my mind. I feel it our job and obligation to teach them these skills. Catch them if they fall but always encourage their independence. Their own life.
@emeraldisle (13138)
• United States
12 Apr 08
Well a lot depends on the situation of course. From what I saw in the other responses you are talking about someone who is messing up consistently and running back home instead of trying to stand on their own two feet. There is a difference. I think children should be able to go home for assistance but there should be a limit. That they shouldn't especially at that age continue to take advantage of their parents or family.
@viewpoint (137)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
If my child needed me badly, I would take him or her back, no matter what age. He or she is my child. Or, if I had some money, I would get them a place to stay, if he or she had a big family.
