YES... Are you the kind of pErsOn who Cant Say NO!?
By jhoannejoj
@jhoannejoj (963)
Philippines
April 17, 2008 1:09pm CST
I am so irritated today with myselF! I cant help not to say YES all the time to people around me, though sometimes its beyond my will power. I always want to please people and not to disappoint anyone. Whatever situation Im in and whoever people I am with, I tend to agree and just say YES.. GRRRRR!! Just today a person told me, dont say YES just for me. You also have to learn to say NO if you really cant do it or you dont want it.
That kind of attitude was been an issue with my boyfriend and I way back home. He always reprimand me that sometimes I have to say NO because everytime we dine out I just say yes to whatever restaurant he choose.
How about you, when you can say NO? Can you let a person get disappointed when you know his suggestion differs with yours?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
18 Apr 08
Hello there jhoannejoj, this is a good discussion. I used to be the type of person who can't really say no whenever someone needs my help; be it I'm willing or unwilling to. And also, a lot of my friends owed me money and when they wanted to loan from me, I wouldn't say no and in the end, they ended up not paying me at all. There is a fine line between being honest and being firm. In cases whereby I can't be honest about my feelings and say no, I would go by being firm. So, I have learned to say no since to things that I just can't do or won't be able to do.
I know it is hard for you to say no, since it is perhaps within your nature, but you have to follow your heart sometimes and just let that person down to go with what you think is best or right. Options like where to dine and stuff like that is pretty menial but if you have something in mind and don't like what that other person suggests, perhaps you could start with, "I feel like eating at (the name of the place). Are you in the mood for it?" Hope my answers have helped you in a way. Take care.
@jhoannejoj (963)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Yeah its really hard.. That's a good point zed, to make suggestions so as not to offend or let someone down. Right now Im really trying my best to minimize my being sooo NICE all the time and sort of practice saying NO once in a while. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@sherrylwatts (326)
• United States
17 Apr 08
If you have difficulty because you're afraid of disappointing someone try a combination of lifting the up while your turning them down. You can always say "This project is so important, I just don't have the time to give it the attention it deserves."
Practice with your boyfriend - he sounds supportive to you - he's trying to help you assert yourself. If you can't pick the restaurant, pick the type of food - say "I'd really like Mexican Food tonight, where would you suggest we go?"
Saying no doesn't have to be mean or rude. Think of several nice ways you can turn a person down and practice them in front of your mirror.
@jhoannejoj (963)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
He is really supportive. He's angry everytime I told him that someone in our office told me to do so and though I dont want it, I just said yes. He told me to practice not being nice all the time. It really so hard to say No when I am so used with this kind of attitude.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
20 Apr 08
Yes, you have to learn to say no, when you say yes all the time, you are saying the other person has a right to everything, I am not important, I have no feelings, no needs and I am not worth it.
Never, never, do that to yourself, say yes only when you truly want to do something for somebody.
I wrote several articles on this very subject.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
I really do not have a problem on this. I mean I can easily say no to people. Of course, from time to time, I end up disappointing some. Most of the time however, I get by without having much problem. My friends have always known me as someone who is frank so they know that when I say NO, I really mean NO. It may be hard at times especially if people expect too much from you. But I always get to find a way.
