love letter

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i just felt that i need somebody, anybody to read this letter. yet another love story gone horror for me. it will never end i guess.. here it goes.. i've been thinking lately..comparing things i know i shouldn't..i miss you.. can you still feel it??do you still know what we have??do you still know why?? i was thinking a while ago about us not talking..now, we can last a week without talking..sooner or later, we'll last a week, a month without seeing each other.. today i heard you came to school. but for some reason didn't show up again..so i didn't see you. its such a pity we ended up like this..i want to call you..check up on you but im afraid you might not appreciate it..you might not appreciate me..tell me how to stop caring..tech me how to sop worrying..not asking you about anything is the only solution i see to help me cope up with what you want..but i always end up thinking about how you're doing..have you though about me for even a second??have you even tried wanting to check up on me?? i've been meaning to let you know i'm still alive..but i don't know how..even why..i cant come up with a reason to ask about how you're doing..cause you'd probably say i cant help you in any manner. and again, i felt that you don't need me.. do you need me??how much?why?but the real question is, do i need you??sell yourself..what will i get? do i need this?where's the attention i requested??i want to pretend that i don't care so i'm keeping myself busy..very busy so i'd be tired to even think of you..but look at me now, trying to fill this paper with my thoughts of you..how do i make you smile??how do i please you??how do i get your attention??how do i convince you to take me in?? i'm such a failure cause i know i really cant do anything for you..i'm sorry..sorry for the things i cant do and the words i cant muster..im hoping we'll be better.. *** but we are not better at all.. we haven't talked for so long..i don't even know how it feels like to know he's there for me..maybe because he isn't. aw.