Taking sides when a child made mistakes?

As anyone here knows that have read many of my responses know I am not a pacient person. If my child does something that is wrong they will be punished for it. If there is a problem with another child I will go to the parent of that child and we will solve the problem. I will not have my child intentinaly hurt another child nor will I have another child hurt mine.

I believe that all parents think their kids are angels who cant do wrong,but if a kid does something bad they should be punished,and when it comes to parents who always side with their kids,it really annoys me,because its just hurting the kids in the long run,and the parents should have to take a class or something.

chill dear ..they are just kids and i think they should be groomed properly and even if they are naughty then think once who is nt??????

Some how I see to it that the quarrel is ended and all go back home reasonably satisfied in their arguments. No taking sides unless it becomes so important that it hurts our child.

Sometimes it's better not to take sides. Besides I don't think you have to. If your child makes mistakes then just guide them on how to change or correct the wrong that they have done. It's not really necessary to pick a side. The most important thing about it is that you know that your child had made a mistake and the proper action is to do something about it through guidance and not by choosing sides. This is a good way also to train your child to think and decide for themselves because we wont be there all their lives to take a side and defend them. When they have grown up and they haven't learned, nobody will teach them but us the parents.

you cannot blame the mother, she might have just wanted to defend her children. True, its not good, but she's the mother and she don't want her children to be in trouble. indeed it upset us. ei Bebs08, why dont you try to advice that mother so she would be aware and that she could tell you why she's doing such a thing. =)

i don't have a child yet... but i know when i do have one in the future, i won't take side... i will be fair... if my children make mistakes, then i will punish them and they have to say sorry... i also hate parents who always side with their children even though they know obviously that their children are wrong... take care and have a nice day...

Parents/caregivers like that drive me absolutely NUTS!! I can't stand a parent/caregiver who refuses to acknowledge when their child has done something wrong..not just becuase its annoying but it also doesnt do any good for that child The only time I side with my kids is when they ARE innocent..if they've done somethign wrong though I make them own up to it

I understand sticking up for your kids, I do too. But when they are in the wrong, there must be consequences. To try to minimize it is a great disservice to the child. What about when they go into the real world? When my daughter gets into trouble, I hear her side, then talk to the other side. I do not assume that either kid is lying, I want the facts first!

It is hard not to try and stand up for them, I have done it many a time for my eldest and then the truth came out and I would feel really embarrassed because he would be guilty of the trouble that he was being accused of. This lesson taught me to take a step back and not be so quick to defend him until I knew for sure he was innocent!!!

Yes these parents drive me made theirs can do no wrong, I was always the other way if anything happened I always thought I bet it was one of my children that did it, and then was really pleased when it would be someone elses child that had done wrong and not mine. Mines are grown up now all respectable, decent hard working adults. Those parents I know like the one you mentioned their kids didnt.I used to get upset when I was younger but I had the last laugh.

The problem developes because the child then learns to run back to their parents every time something goes slightly wrong. Since the child is then in a way completely dependant on their parents while all their peers are learning to fend for themselves, the child is either disadvantaged when it gets to the point where their parents can no longer support them or they end up as horrible people like certain celebrities with rich parents.

I really don't care - after all, it's not my kid. The thing is this - no matter what you tell these people, they will still get on the defensive. No one likes being told how to raise their children, even if it's by family or friends and especially more so if the suggestion is coming from someone who has no kids. It's not because parents don't listen; it's because it's never easy being a parent. Yes, in some cases, your concern may be genuine but I never like or want to get involve in things like this because I myself would never ever like being told how to do things someone else's way. If their child bullied mine and it's the classic "his word against my word", then really, there is nothing much you can do even after telling the parent off. As long as my child isn't spoilt in that sense, I'm happy already.

Parents are always behind chidrens for some good reasons.childrens must be in a position to take it up as a good idea from a friend not as a advice;if a child takes parents words as a advice then all the dealings with parents would go wrong.Parents must also be in a position to treat their childrens as a friend.But many are not so?Could anyone give a beautiful response for this?

It is instinct to protect your young. It is normal. However, it is unrealistic to believe that your child never does wrong. I know my kids. I know what they are capable of. I also can tell when they are not telling me the whole truth. Also you have to look at all sides of the story. Sometimes other children will exagerate a situation in order to get another child into trouble or for other reasons that we may not be aware of. Maybe they did something wrong and the other child retaliated. Do you think that you are going to hear of the original wrong-doing or just the retaliation? I think we ALL need to view our children realistically. We need to ask ourselves, would that child do this with no provocation? It sounds like you know these other parents and other children well enough to know if the child is just bad or mean. If you fully believe that the other child is doing things that the parents are simply refusing to recognize and deal with, the only thing you can do is try and keep your children from hanging out with them. You have to do what you feel is best for your own child. You cannot force another parent to see things realistically. They will retain their veiw of thier child and continue to protect them to the end. You just have to remove yourself and your child from the situation. You are the only person that you have any real control over.