Are you an overachiever because of the way you were raised?
By mentalward
@mentalward (14690)
United States
May 20, 2008 3:45pm CST
My mother was always telling me that I was not quite good enough or that I could do better as I was growing up. I would always put 100% into everything I did, but it was never good enough in her opinion.
This turned into a lifetime of striving to do better, even if I was considered the best at whatever it was.
It wasn't until I realized that I was acting on what my mother had said to me over and over that I was able to slow down and realize that I was good enough. I am now at peace and happy with myself.
Anyone else with a similar situation or was my mother the only off-centered mom out there?
2 responses
@Elixiress (3878)
•
20 May 08
My Mam said that I was doing well, but also pressured me to keep that up. She would make me feel bad without saying anything if I underachieved. I think that how you achieve is part of how you are brought up, but I think it is better to be forced into overachieving rather than being allowed to underachieve as you will get further in life.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
20 May 08
I agree with you. Your mother was more insightful than mine was. She didn't turn me into an "achiever", though, she turned me into an "overachiever".
Overachieving is better than underachieving, I agree. But they both have their bad points. I was never happy with myself until I realized what I was doing and slowed down.
How we are raised has such a big impact on our entire lives.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
20 May 08
All parents want the best for their kids. My parents was like your mother. It is the way they grow so they instill it in us. How we are grow always stay with us so it is no wonder you are still at it. Your mother was not self-center. I know that if you look back in your life this advice has help at your work etc. It is good to thrive for 100%.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
20 May 08
The problem was that I was already giving 100% but it was not good enough in my mother's eyes. I could not understand how I could do better than 100%. Maybe she meant the best for me, but it gave me about 25 years of trying to do better than 100%. I was driving myself into an early grave from the stress until I realized why I was doing it.
I still give 100% in all I do and that's all I need to do to feel good. Before, I was never satisfied with 100%. It had to be better, better, better! Do you understand what I'm trying to say? It was ruining my health and not good for my marriage or family.
