What is your boundary, when it comes to infidelity?
By zeroflashx2
@zeroflashx2 (2491)
Philippines
May 30, 2008 5:11pm CST
For me, Infidelity is not just cheating or having another person and to be engaged in a relationship, but the betrayal of trust. There is a fine line between having another relationship and betraying one's trust. I hope to clear out that line as clear as it can be.
Let's say you are engaged and you really love that person. There's really something about her that makes you happy. But then, a friend comes in. You get too close that you start to feel a bit more of a friend. But you didn't act on it and just went with the flow. Nothing happened between you and your friend. But things start to get serious that it's starting to become awkward between the two of you.
What next action/s would qualify for betrayal of trust? Engaging on an intimate relationship perhaps? Or just merely entertaining the emotion/situation?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@jashley1 (746)
• United States
30 May 08
I think that merely entertaining the emotion/situation is betrayal in some sort of way. I think if you really love your fiance, you need to make the decision to cut off the friendship with the other or at least nipping it in the but! As long as you continue to entertain those other feelings, there's always the chance of something happening later on down the road - perhaps you and your fiance get in a fight. Would you choose that moment to run to the other? It's a fine line and Jesus said to "have thoughts about another" when being married is adultery. I know you're not married, but lustful thinking is just that and it's up to you to not entertain it.
1 person likes this
@zeroflashx2 (2491)
• Philippines
31 May 08
I respect your opinion on this. However, I mean no disrespect, the line wasn't cleared for me. I still stick to the point that as long as we don't act on it, it may not be betrayal. Everyone is tempted in some sort of way, not limited to relationships, that's human nature.
I follow your opinion though that we should act on it in order to fix it. That was a really good one. Some people tend to just let it go and let it pass. Doing something about it is another.
@DallasFAN99 (210)
• United States
30 May 08
Fidelity is a fairly broad term. It could be something simple as a promise. Infidelity works the same way - rather delicately - like breaking that promise.
As far as your scenario, this is at the discretion of the person involved. If nothing happened - that's one thing. But, two things should be observed:
1) If you love person A, why would you have feelings for person B above the level of "friendship"??
2) A betrayal of trust can be easily measured. Since there is no way for your girlfriend/fiance/wife to know what is in your head - put yourself in their shoes (since you DO know what is in your head...) Knowing your thoughts, would you like your behavior with your "friend"??
I'm not saying, for example, if you promise your wife you will not eat fast food, but one day you drive by McDonald's and crave it.....this isn't BREAKING her trust, really, until you eat the hamburger. Hopefully you get the point I'm trying to make!
I would feel like I betrayed my Wife's trust if I felt attracted to a women and was TEMPTED to act upon. Simple attraction is not a betrayal, it's the urge to act that crosses the line. Your significant other should be able to turn around and KNOW that you're not going to do anything to hurt her...this is integrity.
1 person likes this
@zeroflashx2 (2491)
• Philippines
31 May 08
I agree with the fact that fidelity doesn't only cover relationships but the preservation of trust between two entities. I do get your point, and that was a good analogy with the hamburger. That was exactly my point as well. It won't as long as you don't act on it and have self control and try to preserve the trust of the other party. The temptation to break one's trust on something is human nature, but to have control and be rational about it, that's what separates people in this case. 
