Do you have a pocket full of sunshine?  

Life has dealt me some pretty hard blows lately, one thing on top of the next and all major life issues. This month I've dealt with a psycho obsessed stalker ex with a dangerous past who threatened my life and moved in 2 doors down, crappy health, not being able to find a job for me or my mother, racism, being broke, a higher-than-thou in-law, a car completely breaking down and needing hundreds in repairs, depression, having to watch my mother's health as she won't, the ending of an 8 year relationship and learning that I was just "effed with" the entire time I had put my life on hold for that person's comfort, not having enough money for bills & rent, everything breaking (doesn't it always when you're broke?), the 2 yr anniversary of a really traumatic event in my life and a bunch more all while being 1,000 miles away from 99% of my family and my best friend whose pc and telephone has been broken all month (so no venting outlet). And that was just this June!

But then somewhere along the line after the maybe having to move out of state to a home where I'm so not wanted and where my beloved cat would not be welcome and the whole 8 wasted years thing... something hit me and I let it all go. I said to hell with the not cool in-law, we're strong women and we'll figure this out. I said to hell with the loser boyfriend and said goodbye for good to him, boy was he shocked, lol. I found this drive to make it and a whole pocket full of sunshine. I'm happy, truly. Yes things are nearly in shambles but I still have ME and the rest of my days and today before me. I can change every moment of that going forward, how awesome is that? I found my reason to go on (and trust me a bottle of pills was looking good) and that reason is me. Just like I told the ex... I love me and I don't care what anyone else says, I think I'm cool people.

I'm sure most of us have heard the Natasha Bedingfield song "Pocket Full of Sunshine", right? It's become my favorite song lately as I finally really understand it. I thought it was some love song but it's not the typical love song, it's a self love (no, not that kind of self love) song. It's about having that happy place that nobody can destory.

My whole long story point is that no matter where in life you are or what has happened to you or who is trying to keep you down... soar, just soar and know that the only person that can hold you back is you and the only person who can take you forward is you. Love yourself, like yourself, know yourself and be happy that you get to know the coolest person out there... you! Find your sunshine and the rainy days don't stand a chance. It's so simple that it's magic!

A few of the lyrics of that song in case you haven't heard it:

I got a pocket,
Got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love and I know that its all mine
Oh, woah

Do what you want,
But your never gonna break me,
Sticks and stone are never gonna shake me
no,oh

I got a pocket,
Got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love and I know that its all mine
oh, woah

Wish that you could but you aint gonna own me
Do anything but you want
you cant slow me down
no,

Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (a sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)
Take me away (take me away)
To better days (to better days)
Take me away (take me away)
A hiding place (a hiding place)